littlegoober75

It goes When you see my face when you see my face hope it give you hell.....

I am 32 and 13 weeks pregnant. I have been really irritable this last week. I really do not feel like hanging out with my friends and get upset when the phone rings. Seems like anything can set me off. This is a planned pregnancy and I do not know why I am feeling this way. I have even been mean to my husband. Has anyone else felt this way? If so please tell me how you dealt with it......

My mother in-law never really liked me and all of the sudden she wants to try and be my best friend. I am taking offence to this now. She should have tried to be my friend 9 years ago when I married her son. Does any one else out there feel the same way?

If so do you know who sings the song Walk away? It's the thyme song for the show.........

I know this should be under TV shows But I figured that more men would know this than women. If you are a women and watch this show Thumbs up to you!

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night,during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child,he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. His wife said,"Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.The card was written:Spaghetti Spagetti Spagetti, 2 w/ meatballs 1 w/out request bread

Sisters Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it The man tells her that he will sell it for $599 - no less.After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive it here so we can haul it home."The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word 'comfortable'."The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable'?"The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly......... com-for-da-bull".

A farmer was sitting at the table while his wife was preparing dinner.

His wife dropped a spoon and bent over to pick it up. As she bent over,

the farmer said "Honey, your butt is as big as a combine". The wife picked

up the spoon and continued cooking with no comment to her husband. As she

put the dinner on the table she dropped the pepper shaker on the floor.

While she was bent over picking it up the farmer said, "Honey, I take that

back. Your butt is as big as two combines!" The wife picked up the pepper,

set it on the table and began eating still with no comment to her husband.

Later on that night after the couple had gone to bed, the farmer started

feeling a little frisky. As he cuddled up to his wife, he noticed that

there was no response on her end. He tapped his wife on the shoulder and

asked her what was wrong. She replied, "Do you really think that I am

going to fire up $300,000 worth of machinery for one little corn

cob????"

Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006

( Maybe it should be in the Guiness Book ? )

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,

"Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast

of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me

wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street

corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night

at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.

" She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,

he's only been there twice in the last four years.

Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

The husband had just finished his book, "Man of the House". He stormed

into

the house and walked directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to

know

that I am the Man of the House and my word is law! I want you to

prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when I'm finished my meal I

expect

a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to

draw

me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess

who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The f***ing funeral director."

POSSIBLY THE VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER-and one that

requires some thought!

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against

the

headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking very annoyed, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and

says,"Well,

I guess we finally answered THAT question

My bosses daughter is 13 and everymonth before her period she gets so sick to her stonmach. The doctors want to put her on birthcontrol. She is not sexualy active and becasue of the weight gain issue doesn't want to be on birthcontrol at such a young age. Are there any nurses out there that could suggest something that might help her through this? Thanks! :)

My says he's not coming to bed?

My husband wants to see the pictures........

When I try to go tp my page it doesn't show my picture or my 360 page thingy that I click on to get into my page. Can some one Please tell me why...................

I just took one I bought last month. I threw the box away so I do not know if it is a positive result or not. There is a plus sign, but one line is very light in color..........

Please help me, I am nervus!

I know they give a thumbs up or down, but how do you know?

Do you have to go back and look at the answers to the questions?

I'm not sure! Thanks for your help!