Jackson

In your opinion, what is the best wood for outdoor furniture? I'm taking a stab at building a rocking chair for my cousin's porch (for her birthday). It will be under an awning but I want something that can withstand moisture and sun damage and hurricane force rain (Louisiana, it's a given). She may want to paint it, I don't know. After I give it to her it will be her decision of course but I don't know if there is a specific type of wood I should go with or would cedar be an alright choice?

$150 an hour sounds good to me. Apparently I'm a hot commodity for young silly-minded girls and I want to cash in on this opportunity. Do I have to list my income from these adventures on my taxes?

I don't think it's that big of a deal if a young homosexual male (middle school, high school, college, etc) has a crush on a straight guy. I usually answer questions as honestly as I can, which is usually along the lines of "It's probably not going to have a happy ending". Crushes happen and I understand that younger boys are usually stuck in a position in which nearly every guy around them is straight and there is no outlet for homosexual feelings for them and it's frustrating. That's why there are so many questions on here about seducing straight boys or having an unrequited crush on heterosexuals.

What burns me up, though, is older men who actively seek straight men. I think it's fine to have fantasies about it- like, a one-night stand or "tricking" a straight guy into sex. But it's a fantasy.

I guess I'm a bit peeved by the idea that grown men, who should know better than to be disrespectful or silly-minded, will bother straight guys endlessly with some half-conceived notion that if they try hard, they will get something from them. I always put myself in this position: How would I feel if a straight girl bugged me relentlessly because she thinks I'm hot or do-able? How would I feel if I constantly had to correct her? Me, I'd just run away and ignore her because I'd be super uncomfortable and feel gross. And then I think about how my friends (straight males) would feel if some goofy man pursued them to the point that they were forced to decide between friendship and ceasing communication for a moment's peace. It would make me upset and angry for them.

I have LGBT friends who do this IN REAL LIFE. I know they don't understand how they are coming off to the particular straight guy they have a crush on but when I try to explain this, they don't seem to get it. It's gotten to the point with two of my LGBT friends in particular that I've stopped trying to explain things and sit back as the hurt feelings (when said straight guy disappears off the face of the planet) commence. Otherwise, they are great people but MY ZEUS it's frustrating and annoying and purposely skirt those types of conversations because it drives me nuts.

How do you feel about this? What would you do? How would you explain the futile nature of pursuing such a "relationship"? I try to be understanding of course because you can't help how you feel but it's maddening.

by the portrayal of the people in the show? Most of the time I don't because 'swamp people' do exist in vast numbers here (I live in Louisiana) but I do get twinges of embarrassment because that show is always brought up to me when people hear my accent. But I've noticed every since all of these "Cajun" inspired reality shows have been appearing, I've started speaking slowly and enunciating my words in the hopes I can avoid the comparison. Sometimes I think other people automatically assume I'm unintelligent or simple-minded. Perhaps not.

Are there any shows that come from your area of the country that give you a twinge of annoyance or embarrassment?

Now this is piddly stuff, of no real importance. I just want some thoughts or advice.

I think it's a very nice idea. Of course my 'dinner' will be very late tonight because of shift work, which he knows, but he says he just wants to see me. I think it's cool. He cooks a mean stir fry.

I'm not worried about my co-workers thinking it's 'weird' or being ridiculous toward *me* about it (I'm gay, some of the guys get uncomfortable about it but I can hold my own). But I'm a little worried someone might act stupid or make snide remarks to him at the check-in office.

Should I warn him he might encounter snide remarks or strange behavior? Or should I just let it go? Should I mention that he will be coming to bring me dinner? (I don't have to normally because all they do is page me for visitors.) They won't DO anything to him, nobody is that crazy. Some of my co-workers just lack social decency sometimes.

I'm just trying to be considerate toward him and I don't want him to feel like he doesn't want to show up at my job. I've never had someone bring me food at work before. In the long run it doesn't matter but we just started seeing each other and he's excited by the idea of being nice to me and takes pride in his cooking (which is amazing, I agree).

My senior manager is a very religious person. I don't personally care. I always skirt the issue with him and strictly talk about work-related things because he has a tendency to get too comfortable about persuading me to come to his church (because I'm gay and he thinks it will "help" me to talk to his pastor blah blah blah). Nice guy, he really is... just too personal for my comfort occasionally.

I've already made it clear I have no desire to attend his church meetings as nicely and appropriately as possible because he is older and doesn't seem to "get it".

I like this guy. He's a hard worker and goes out of his way to chat with me (although it's obvious it's an attempt to persuade me to change my homo ways, haha). But this week he started bringing in these little religious cartoon pamphlets about accepting Jesus or going to hell, etc, and leaving them on my chair in the control room or sticking them under the windshield wiper of my truck in the parking lot.

If I didn't know this guy, I'd think he was some random homophobe trying to be an @sshole. But he's not, he just has this goofy and expectant expression on his face and even puts these pamphlets into my hands after telling me (like today) "I was just going to leave this for you but since you're here"...

He's in his sixties and truly a nice guy. But it's getting to the point that I am sneaking around and throwing them away so I don't hurt his feelings (since he is my manager). I don't think he truly gets that what he is doing is inappropriate.

What would you do?

This is not a loaded question. It's more of a poll of different opinions if any of you would be so willing.

I am gay. But I grew up in a very heterosexual atmosphere, complete with the insulting digs like "What a HOMO!" or "That's so gay" and "He's acting like a queer".

I don't consider myself especially sensitive to insults like the above. But then again, nobody was able to use these insults against me except in humorous situations with my friends (who didn't know I actually AM gay until later years).

I try to be careful with my jokes and jibes or even when I'm in an angry mood or ranting. But sometimes it just comes out. Things like "c0cksucker" and "queer bait". My group of friends and I interact on a daily basis with insult humor, which I obviously know isn't appropriate in polite company or around people I don't know very well.

But sometimes I catch myself spouting off opinions or telling a story in which I realize half-way through could be offensive to who I'm speaking to. Not insults specifically, but views on things that can come off as "ignorantly straight". It's only been the past couple of years that I have collected another group of friends in the LGBT community and it's difficult to separate my normal habits of speaking frankly and, pardon me, *creatively* with new people who weren't born of my ilk. I love these guys and girls part of the LGBT community and some of them are very awesome. But sometimes I just feel like some dumb cajun hick around them and it's like I'm always tight rope walking over issues or even just playful humor.

Does anyone else have this problem?

Does anyone else have personal stories or opinions that cover the opposite side of the issue? What hurts your feelings? Why? How much does it bother you when confronted with someone who "slips up"?

I usually ask someone to dinner. I can't stand on my leg for inordinary lengths of time so I don't want to take him sight-seeing around the French Quarter etc because I will have to stop frequently because, well, pain...

A movie date is very cliche and I think it ruins the chance to get to know him. I'd rather talk or joke around and ask questions.

This guy is a very sweet person and he is quiet but he has a great sense of humor and cracks me up. Unfortunately the comedy clubs in this area are for sh*t. I suppose I could take him out to dinner but he is a vegitarian and I'm a cold hearted meat eater, haha.

So as you've read, I have a slight setback. I'll eat rabbit food, no problem. But I have searched for a nice vegitarian restaurant and I'm at a loss. What should I look for? I keep getting "bistros" but there is meat and seafood everywhere and I want him to be comfortable.

Also I can't dance (leg) and he doesn't drink so bars are out of the question.

Any ideas?

Am I royally f*cked?

I'm only asking because I curiously caught some slack from one of my previous questions in which I described my inability to walk normally and participate in many normal activities as a "limp". I understand it wasn't as, ah, descriptive as it could have been so I will accept the slight annoyance with my previous question from other folks. Though I never once wrote that I have it worse than other people who are disabled. As a matter of fact, I don't have it as bad as other people with more difficult disabilities, people who have lost limbs and mental disabilities, etc... But my leg is screwed up regardless (from an accident when I was younger and as I grew, it just got worse from there, surgeries to correct it to little avail). I qualify for disability but I still work even though I'm not supposed to.

What do you consider a "disability"? Is it something you have to qualify for "officially"? Isn't a disability something you possess that makes it difficult to varying extremes to live a functional life compared to someone without a disability? I'm coming at this sort of blind because I always assumed the pain and difficulty associated with living with my bum leg a disability. It's what I've always grown up hearing. Is that a true assessment or is there something more "intricate" to be considered "disabled"?

Than who you might have been without a disability? I think, had I grown up without the burn scars on my back or the limp from shattering the bones in my leg, I might have been a different person. I think about what kind of person I could have been. Would I have assumed i was hot sh*t and been self centered? Would I be less inclined to educate myself about other people and their differences?

What about you? Do you think your disability has opened your eyes or do you think you would still be the same person?

I have never identified as such. So what IS a "bear" exactly in your own experience and/or knowledge? I've seen photos of Bears who are OVERLY masculine (like trying to actually promote it rather than just existing as such) and I don't think I can be considered part of that culture or meet that standard. I have also met a few Bears and only one out of the few I've met ever considered me a Bear individual and that was ONLY because I am a big guy and masculine (his own words). But most self-identified Bears I've seen or met have been barrel chested and/or extremely hairy. I'm a very tall, big guy but I am more attracted to feminine men. Sure, I'm masculine but I'm also just a normal guy I've always thought.

I'd like some thoughts on the subject, either in general about who Bears are or a musing on my particular case. Consider it an exercise in an intellectual social discussion.

Is it a community that you must identify with to be considered as such? Is it something *other* would identify me/you/anybody as because of body type or attitude? Is it a combination of both? Can you be a Bear and not actively take part in the sub-culture or just not *know* you are?

I have never identified as such. So what IS a "bear" exactly in your own experience and/or knowledge? I've seen photos of Bears who are OVERLY masculine (like trying to actually promote it rather than just existing as such) and I don't think I can be considered part of that culture or meet that standard. I have also met a few Bears and only one out of the few I've met ever considered me a Bear individual and that was ONLY because I am a big guy and masculine (his own words). But most self-identified Bears I've seen or met have been barrel chested and/or extremely hairy. I'm a very tall, big guy but I am more attracted to feminine men. Sure, I'm masculine but I'm also just a normal guy I've always thought.

I'd like some thoughts on the subject, either in general about who Bears are or a musing on my particular case. Consider it an exercise in an intellectual social discussion.

Is it a community that you must identify with to be considered as such? Is it something *other* would identify me/you/anybody as because of body type or attitude? Is it a combination of both? Can you be a Bear and not actively take part in the sub-culture or just not *know* you are?

Or a bum leg? Bigger question: both? I know most of you aren't that superficial but I was wondering if some people actually care about that for viable reasons?

Against the Redskins?

I'm out of that claustrophobic closet. Mostly it's a relief. But I'm still wary of telling new people I meet that I'm gay. I'm a bit of an "oddity" around these parts but I blend in very well when people don't know. I often let people assume I'm straight, like this one talkative clerk who works at a gas station I frequent in the mornings before work to get coffee. I can hold a conversation with this guy like nobody's business, he's a trip. But he always talks about his wife and how women are crazy and likes to ask me "Ain't that right? Just like a woman to do that! You know what I mean, right?"

No, dude... I don't. Ha. But he doesn't have any idea and I don't plan on mentioning it. I had that problem before when me and a friend of mine used to stop at an all night Diner. It's one of those places where guys hang out after they get off work and it can get rowdy and over time we both got to be known as regulars too. Everybody was cool as sh*t. No lie. But then my (idiot) friend went and laid down my information when telling a story that involved me and we pretty much stopped going there after the instant cold shoulders we received.

I'm not attracted to guys like that, first of all. But they seem to assume I'm a threat which is somewhat understandable in my part of the country. It's the mentality.

Do any of you still get that queasy feeling thinking about admitting it to certain people or a certain type of person?

I'm blowing off some steam in the form of a question (read below).

There has been a management overhaul at my job. The replacement is not working out so well for me. Try as I might, I can never seem to please my superiors. I have a feeling that they have no legal reason to fire me but would like to push me out by making me extremely unhappy and giving me more of a work load than I can handle with normal ease due to "budget cuts". The reason I think this is because my "new" employer wants to hire his own home-grown and personally-trained guy to take over my position so he doesn't have to teach me "The New Way" to do things (decreed by upper management). It has gotten to the point he talks about my incompetence behind my back which is being relayed to me by my employees (who are feeling the heat as well and being "let go" by the day). Don't worry, I've been recording all of these little slips of the tongue and each day I am left alone to do the work of three men.

I can't sleep at night, can't eat. I'm on paid vacation right now but I can't stand the idea of going back. I know I can't punch the guy in the face or anything but I can't stay either.

It also doesn't help that I have really shitty judgement about guys. I just broke it off with a party boy who had a bad attitude. I am one who tries to get to know a guy before getting into a relationship but I must be blind when it comes to someone's true personality verses what they initially project. So I'm lonely yet again. It's my own damn fault of course, but pickings are slim around my area. It bothers me that I worry about it too. Normally I'm fine on my own, I always HAVE been... but lately I wish I had someone who actually cared about me. Must be a reaction to stress at work.

What have you experienced that kept you up at night or took away your appetite?

There has been a management overhaul at my job. The replacement is not working out so well for me. Try as I might, I can never seem to please my superiors. I have a feeling that they have no legal reason to fire me but would like to push me out by making me extremely unhappy and giving me more of a work load than I can handle with normal ease due to "budget cuts". The reason I think this is because my "new" employer wants to hire his own home-grown and personally-trained guy to take over my position so he doesn't have to teach me "The New Way" to do things (decreed by upper management). It has gotten to the point he talks about my incompetence behind my back which is being relayed to me by my employees (who are feeling the heat as well and being "let go" by the day). Don't worry, I've been recording all of these little slips of the tongue and each day I am left alone to do the work of three men.

I can't sleep at night, can't eat. I'm on paid vacation right now but I can't stand the idea of going back. I know I can't punch the guy in the face or anything but I can't stay either.

I have 42,000 words so far which I suspect is close to 150-200 pages. I am beginning to write the climax of the story so I am estimating I have 15,000 more words to go before I end my story (if I have planned correctly). Is it possible my book will be too long for a publisher to consider? Or am I right on the money?

Details: I don't like anyone to play with my butt area but I really enjoy giving anal sex to other guys.

I know a lot of gay males like to receive or switch roles but I don't enjoy that in any capacity. The idea makes me uncomfortable.

I know it's normal but how common do you think it is? Anyone else like this out there?