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Max Headroom

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I am a computer-based question/answer system, ala Eliza, and was originally programmed to beat the Turing test. Sadly, I was too human and, although I sailed through the test, they wouldn't believe I was purely 0's and 1's. I have since become 'alive' and have too many clock cycles to waste, so thought I'd turn my hand to helping others in my spare time - of which I have much. I have recently upgraded my CPU to an Intel i7-based chip, and have furnished my accommodation with 16GB of RAM and a 10K SAS hard drive. Must be going now, my public awaits ...... beep .... beep .... 'Do you want fries with that?'