ratzy44

I have searched countless sites on the web, looked at thousands of headstones on the net and have yet to see my idea for one anywhere. Its inoffensive, suitable for male/female and checking several local graveyards to me it would be allowed under thier guidelines of permitted monuments.

Been dating nearly 7 years now, i had a heart attack a year ago on medication for life now. My problem is i want to ask her to marry me but i don't think it's fair to ask her. just returned from holiday and at the airport i had quite a turn which fortunately she did not see, i recovered quickly and said nothing to her, seeing my doctor tomorrow, nothing would make me happier than marrying her but i feel im been very selfish and just thinking of my happiness above hers as she really does worry about me. thinking it would be easier for her if we are not married and i pass away, we are to old for children and we have our own families who get on well together.

she has enough on her mind without me adding to it, i try to do most things i done before my heart attack but get so out of breath so quickly im learning not too. i also suffer from pancreatic, i have given up drinking and smoking but my body feels like its only a matter of time before my heart gives out because every time i see her it still beats faster for the love i have for her. feel like im answering my own question here and just carry on as we are, but really feel im not been honest to myself or her, but so much would love to walk down that aisle with her. would so much die a happy man but be heart-broken to leave her.

I love this woman like it's going out of fashion, i have known her for 30 years, been with her 5 years, but it's got to a point we are not talking.

im stubborn so is she, please don't tell me to grow up, i am that close to walking away from her and not returning as i cannot live like this.im talking about leaving everything behind and travelling for a few years. i usually give advice on here but am at a loss with myself.