Anonymously

my family is poor, we never have much to eat and i am anorexic and bolmic so when i do eat id prefer it to be healthy, but we only get whatvers on special like frozen pizza and Kraft dinner, i'd rather starve honestly.. Anywase, please dont be mean im having a really bad day with my self harm i am on edge, what im asking is , are theyre any tricks to stop being hungry ? or maybe pills , just curious about the methods?

i am trying to get better with eating, its just if im going to start eating i really want it to be healthy, ill hate myself less but in the meantime the stomach pains have to stop

Hello i am martin, boyfriend of the girl who has been asking all these questions of what do to do with her life.

I Dont know what to do weve tried bringing her to the hospital weve tried getting mental help its all soo useless. Whenever she cuts the only thing docters say is that shes depressed and never want to deal with her ..

she has alot of problems all thar i am willing to help with but sometimes i just dont know what to do .. i would never consider leaving her ever but she considers leaving this world all the time.

This is 100% not a attention thing she is extremely depressed and spilt personality disorder and is constantly afraid of everything. she has a past of abuse and sexual abuse, but of a lower form ( no penetration) the family is always fighting and is no help to her.. they are quite a poor family soo any kind of money related answer ..she takes pills not a ammount to overdose on but she questions it if she should or should not she is currently suppose to take prozac for anti drepssion(10 mg) and birth control . but she has a past of other pills for insomia and ativan(anti-anxeity).

every night when she is extremely suicidly she takes 5 ativan and a sleeping pill so she dosnt do anything to crazy ..

she constantly has panic attacks at night were she claws and he neck and mumbles suicidal thoughts .. after approx of 10 minutes of panicking her body dies and just stops like a rag doll.

it happend before when she just drops while walking or after any stressfull event..

she is also over very over emotional..

not for what happend just now .. she took 5 pills we proceded to watch the simpsons and just hang out ..after many events i deiced she should record what she is feeling and why and she wrote in this bookhow she was feeling (ill get to what the book said in a minute) she thought I her boyfriend was just a man someone she had just met (maybe because of pills) she told me everything she was feeling and she wrote in the book the following ''He trys to show me he loves me and he succeeds he wont BELIVE ME.. i Beleivehim, its myself i belive not to be good enough PLEASE DONT LEAVE ILL BE GOOD ILL DO ANYTHING'' that was on one page

Page 2` '' i talked to this guy I think hes my boyfriend he knows me will i wanted to kiss him but i dont know if its him ... does he feels sad when i am.

Page 3 '' i am hungry why dont i eat this?.. this is blue... then she proceeded to eat a blue marker or nipple on the tip.. she is 16.. after i hit the mark our of her mouth and she started to whimper and cry and say DONT TOUCH ME and she crawled into her closet and crawl into a ball in the darkness.. i turned the lights on and said ''baby what are you doing its me your boyfriend wanna come out?'' she replied yess some man wanted to hurt me.. this is when i started to worrand really think about this situation.

this has been going on for a year and half and she is going back to school again and get a lil job to help herself she dosnt do drugs or drink .. in the past she had gone to homes but she hates it and if anything she gets more sad so going to a foster family or a home is out of the question she just wants to be in the norm and have a normal life wich she hasnt experienced ever.. i just need your help please spread this i want her to get help as much as possible any answers help again (docters cant help nor can hostpitals ) pleases help asap .. soory for horrible grammer and punctuation and overall vocab

Hello i am martin, boyfriend of the girl who has been asking all these questions of what do to do with her life.

I Dont know what to do weve tried bringing her to the hospital weve tried getting mental help its all soo useless. Whenever she cuts the only thing docters say is that shes depressed and never want to deal with her ..

she has alot of problems all thar i am willing to help with but sometimes i just dont know what to do .. i would never consider leaving her ever but she considers leaving this world all the time.

This is 100% not a attention thing she is extremely depressed and spilt personality disorder and is constantly afraid of everything. she has a past of abuse and sexual abuse, but of a lower form ( no penetration) the family is always fighting and is no help to her.. they are quite a poor family soo any kind of money related answer ..she takes pills not a ammount to overdose on but she questions it if she should or should not she is currently suppose to take prozac for anti drepssion(10 mg) and birth control . but she has a past of other pills for insomia and ativan(anti-anxeity).

every night when she is extremely suicidly she takes 5 ativan and a sleeping pill so she dosnt do anything to crazy ..

she constantly has panic attacks at night were she claws and he neck and mumbles suicidal thoughts .. after approx of 10 minutes of panicking her body dies and just stops like a rag doll.

it happend before when she just drops while walking or after any stressfull event..

she is also over very over emotional..

not for what happend just now .. she took 5 pills we proceded to watch the simpsons and just hang out ..after many events i deiced she should record what she is feeling and why and she wrote in this bookhow she was feeling (ill get to what the book said in a minute) she thought I her boyfriend was just a man someone she had just met (maybe because of pills) she told me everything she was feeling and she wrote in the book the following ''He trys to show me he loves me and he succeeds he wont BELIVE ME.. i Beleivehim, its myself i belive not to be good enough PLEASE DONT LEAVE ILL BE GOOD ILL DO ANYTHING'' that was on one page

Page 2` '' i talked to this guy I think hes my boyfriend he knows me will i wanted to kiss him but i dont know if its him ... does he feels sad when i am.

Page 3 '' i am hungry why dont i eat this?.. this is blue... then she proceeded to eat a blue marker or nipple on the tip.. she is 16.. after i hit the mark our of her mouth and she started to whimper and cry and say DONT TOUCH ME and she crawled into her closet and crawl into a ball in the darkness.. i turned the lights on and said ''baby what are you doing its me your boyfriend wanna come out?'' she replied yess some man wanted to hurt me.. this is when i started to worrand really think about this situation.

this has been going on for a year and half and she is going back to school again and get a lil job to help herself she dosnt do drugs or drink .. in the past she had gone to homes but she hates it and if anything she gets more sad so going to a foster family or a home is out of the question she just wants to be in the norm and have a normal life wich she hasnt experienced ever.. i just need your help please spread this i want her to get help as much as possible any answers help again (docters cant help nor can hostpitals ) pleases help asap .. soory for horrible grammer and punctuation and overall vocab

i had a good day but i am exusted so i went to my bed and i am not

w trying to sleep. my dad walks in and tells me than when he signed me out of rehab (for cutting) it was not so i can isolate myself . he dosnt care about me at all , hes just afraid if i get too depressed( wich i secretly am) that the social worker will come and hes a bad man so he is afraid of that. anywase...i got mad and punched a wall, i had a ring on so it dented my finger and really hurt but thats not the problem. Then my mom came in and told me to come wach american idol with her and i started crying i said no i said i was tired and she said mentally or physicly i said both but physicly will cure it for now. she left didnt know what to say....now i am in my room alone, considering taking pills to cover my pain again. i did that yesreday and it went wrong. i started crying because i want to tell her whats going on , but my fear that 1.she will take my pills away and 2.she will send me to a hospital are far to big for that.. so as usual i will suffer here alone. My boyfriend is talking to hes friends, hes in a good mood so i dont want to talk to him, other than that i pretty much friends.. help

i thought i could calm myself down my taking a fiew extra pills so i took 4 ativant at only 5mg and one sleeping pill at 25mg. i have barely any memory of what happend but i looked at my convo and i talked to my boyfrind after that i said things like " i dont know where i am or who im with but i dont care XD "

and i said that i was seeing a big white screen and that i was dizzy and didnt reconize my room. i can barely remember this at all he said i started to panic that we were talking and he didnt hear my voice anymore. i cant remember falling alseep... thats all i know, i also told my friend my whole plan to kill myself today if i wasnt feeling better tomoorow...what the hell happend

Heeey, my actual name is Sabrina, i just dont want anyone to know who i am when i seek for help about my problems. i didnt explain verry well i cut right to the point so i will explain more now.

i have borderline personalty disorder. everything that should bother me a little , i actually feel like i was diying. im over emotional and i cant help it, i am also cliniqly depressed so i cant help myself when im depressed for no reason, i have a boyfriend ive been wth for a year and things are perfect i love him, but he cant help me when im sad for no reason and it dosnt feel fair to him.i have bulimia nervosa, maybe because i think i see myself as is but apairantly not , i alwase see myself as fat disgusting and ugly, it makes me disgusted and than i want to cut. i have had a cutting adiction for two years i went to rehab and it didnt work. i have scars everywhere its gross and i am ashamed. i have been to the hospital after trying to kill myself by cutting and overdosing on pills. they never took me seriously, they told my parents it was probably a faise and they shouldnt pay atention to it. its not. but i decided not to tell anyone, i have no friends because i dont want anyone to know i am hurting. this is my life, it gets worst and worst and the more i hate myself the less of a reason i find to live. gets harder everyday, i know that things arent as bad s they seem i am just "programed" to over feel about it, example if my boyfriend changes plans i will feel as if he was in a car accident , the feellings just hit me 10 times harder. after therapie and being on pills i am still not better, thus driving me to realize there is no getting better. how an i escape from wanting to killmyself ?