Vonnie S

I am a bit worried that somebody I know may be taking the drug 'base'. I have no idea what it is so would like to know how it affects the person taking it.

What do you consider to be 'stone walling' in a relationship and is it acceptable or normal.?

Husband starts his 'rugby' day at 8.30am in the pub to watch one of the semi finals. Starts drinking beer at the same time. Comes home at 3pm in the afternoon blotto, slurring and just plain irritating. Decides that since he pays for the Sport Channel on TV he has the right to continue watching sport, even though the wife's favourite programme has just started. Wife asks nicely then turns the TV off and hides the remote. Husband then turns the mains of the electricity off, because he is not getting his own way. On top of all this he is shouting and telling the wife how selfish she is. Help.

Should a husband discuss with his wife before making arrangements with his mother. Example, he makes arrangements to take his mother out, without discussing it with his wife first. 2nd example. Promises to spend his Sunday cooking a roast lunch for her, without discussing it with his wife. ??? Is the wife expected to just go along with it?????

How do the unemployed get helped when they cannot find work in SA. I know jobs are not so easy to come by. Just wondering if they got any help at all?

I have been away from SA for 18 months. In this time I have heard a lot about Julius Malema. Who is he and what role does he play in the government in SA. It sounds as though he is pushing for unrest there. Can anybody fill me in.

I believe Eugene Terreblanche was murdered over the week end. Do people in South Africa think that there is going to be trouble over this now?

I have been with my husband for 20 years. His mother has had a bad stroke and was in hospital for 3 months. Luckily she has survived the ordeal, but is unable to walk unaided, and practically lost her eyesight. She has 4 children living near her. My husband who is married, a sister and two brothers all of whom are not married. One of his brothers is disabled and lives with his mum in the same house. Her sister pushed and pushed for her mom to be able to come home saying she would take care of her, plus a carer comes in 4 times a day to give medication, help dress and help her shower. She has been home two weeks, and my husband is now expected every second night to sleep over at his moms place to be her carer. he takes it in turns with his brother. the sister is doing daytime. While I am over the moon that his mom is home, I just dont feel that it is right, him sleeping there and I am having to spend half my time on my own. This could be a long long term arrangement. Ugh where do I feature here, or dont I. I am not a very happy wife right now. Please can I have your views on what is right and what isnt here.

I moved to the UK with my husband of 9 years 2 years ago to be near his family. I dont have anybody here that I can turn to. My husband puts his mother and booze before me. His mom unfortunately had a stroke and is in hospital, but is on the mend and receiving physio. There are 4 children here who visit her. He doesnt want to work, but will take our last couple of pounds to go and sit in the pub, then come home and talk the biggest load of nonsence which I cannot tolerate anymore. He has actually been all around the world without realising it. Slurring all the way through his huuuuuuge stories. What I need to know before I go off my head, is are there any places where I can turn to for help. I am British through my parents, so am legally here. I just cant carry on with this plodder anymore. Love flew out the window about 18 months ago, and all I want is to be free of this situation that I am in. Thank you.

I just cannot believe some of the questions I have read here tonight. Like how come a girl from SA is white. Why doesnt everybody google Cape Town, Durban, Port Elizabeth, East London, Knysna and Johannesburg, then put their question on the site. Its a beautiful country which has its crime, as does most of the world.

We moved from SA to Wales a year ago to settle. My first time overseas. My husband was born here. It has been really hard settling down, and for the last six months, when I comb my hair huge clumps come out. When I was my hair it is even worse. I have thick hair, but can see it is getting thin on the top. Help

I cannot understand why people ask the public medicall questions about Swine Flu on this site, and expect to get intelligent answers, and correct diagnosis. See a doctor ??

Could people tell me what is the average age of the people asking questions on this site. Some of the questions are really pathetic and of no interest to I am sure "most of us".

I am just curious how you like it here as to living in South Africa. What are the positives and negatives.

I see people talking about Billy Mays, and would like to know who is he? He has been compared to MJ, so I am very curious. Please help. Was he a singer and where did he live? UK or America. Thanks

My husband and I moved to UK from Australia. When we first arrived we stayed with his mom who is 80 years old. First time I have met her. While there I bent over backwards doing the housework, cooking, mowing the lawn. Waited on her hand and feet making food, and tea etc. Was always extremely respectful. Thats how I was raised. While there this woman use to scream at me, walk after me to see what I was doing, and really spoke to me like I was stupid. (I am very educated, and worked in the Shipping Industry for many years). What upset me most, was when this happened, my husband wouldnt back me up or stand up to her. When he can see that she was totally out of order. We are now in our own place, but I am still so angry and feel totally alone here. It is stopping me from settling down. Am I wrong to feel this way. Its a first for me, so I am very confused.

My husband and I moved back overseas to settle after my husband lived abroad for 25 years. We had to stay with his mum for 5 months while job hunting and house hunting. For some reason, she took a dislike to me, and I was ignored, shouted at, and given dirty looks in front of the family. Not being use to this sort of treatment I was really hurt and embarrassed. This lady is 83 years old, but still very mentally aware. I tried my best to turn a blind eye, but in the meantime I did everything I could in the house to show my appreciation, Cleaned, washed, scrubbed, and not once did she ever say thank you. Two weeks ago, I left and am 300 miles away staying with friends until we can move into our own place.

What hurts most of all, is my husband watched all of this, and never took a stand in my defense. it was as though he was too scared to tell her, if my wife isnt welcome, then nor am I. So he is there, and I am here. I am not sure whether I would be doing the right thing to go back to him. He basically gave her the message, its okay to ignore and shout at my wife, as I will still be the same towards you.

I am having a really hard time digesting this, and very indecisive as what would be the right thing to do.

My ex daughter in law has moved to France. I have her Scotty Terrier who is flying out in 3 weeks now that they have found a house. Does anybody know if the dog has to stay in kennels for quarantine for 6 months or not. I am a bit worried as that is a long time.

Okay guys and girls. We have the two teams playing here in Cape Town at 5pm today. Who is your money on? Anybody. My money is on the Stormers of course.

My daughter left to go and stay in the UK from SA on Tuesday the 6th. I am looking after her scotty while waiting to complete all the innoculations. The dog is flying out in a month. What is the procedure in UK when the dog gets there. I have heard they keep it in the kennels for 6 months. Seems awfully long. Does anybody know the facts. Thanks