Hannah

My last name is Eskins and the last name I'm taking is Neal. So far I have #HeadOverNeals and #NealBeforeTheAltar. Looking for any with my last name or more with his.

Sorry for the novel. We live seven hours apart (makes breaks a *****) and luckily, we met at college. He's a junior and I'm a sophomore. We started dating April 11, 2013 under complicated circumstances and are going on nine months now. Yes, we've said the "I Love You's" and are sexually active (he's my first, I'm his second). I know I want to marry him and he, me. We've never had a fight. We're used to living in the same dorm hall, but recently he got an RA (Resident Assistant) position in one of the dorms across campus. Not only will we not be together as much, he'll also be in charge of his floor as well as working with female RAs. And being around female residents of that dorm.

When we started dating, he said it was my personality that snagged him first. Our interests and hobbies are exact matches; it couldn't get any more perfect. We're both huge geeks. But there are other girls with those qualities. Other PRETTIER girls. When I first met my boyfriend, he had FOUR girls chasing after him, and he picked me above all things, even though I denied my own interest (my friend was one of the girls that liked him; they'd dated for a week before this). But this is where the insecurity starts. I've always thought he could do much better than me, and I'm scared being exposed to all these new girls will make him realize this.

In terms of attractiveness, he himself rated me an 8 and said he was an 8 as well, so it matches up. I'm his seventh girlfriend and longest relationship as of now, and he's my second boyfriend (I had a two and a half month as a freshman that was completely one-sided on his part). My boyfriend's had some gorgeous exes, and I'm not his first "I love you" either, though he is mine. His last girlfriend, while not necessarily beautiful (actually a little chubby), was a sex goddess, and I've still got a lot to measure up to in that area.

As for me, I don't feel as if I'm that attractive. I'm 5'9" and 150 lbs with quite the set of hips and thighs, so I'm not as thin as I could be. I've got long, light brown hair, pale skin, and blue eyes that are a little on the small side. I have strong eyebrows and a nose that I think is a little too big for my face, as well as full lips and stubborn chin. I'm pretty average looking, almost plain. My biggest insecurity, though, is my bra size. I'm tall and broader-shouldered and can barely fill out a B-cup. I despise it, especially since his last ex had Ds. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I feel like my boyfriend could do much better. His personality is electric, he's a strong, handsome, big fella (easily able to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder), he's super-smart, and his wit and sense of humor are sharper than a tack. I love him so much it hurts. What I'm afraid of is him finding someone with bigger breasts, the same interests, a BETTER personality than mine, and funnier, as well as someone prettier and able to please him more sexually.

I'm afraid his new position in the other dorm will do just this. I'm not afraid of him cheating, just of him losing interest in me for someone else and leaving. Him being exposed to all these new girls makes me nervous, especially now that we'll have some distance between us. How do I keep from feeling this way? How do I deal with my nerves?

First of all, I have a boyfriend, and I'm currently going into my second year of college. However, I seem to be having problems with my sex drive. It's always been like this. During puberty, I was never horny and didn't feel the need to go out and bang something. My hormones never filled me with the urge to masturbate or release sexual energy. They certainly don't now. As of today, I've never had an orgasm and touching myself doesn't give me any pleasure. Sex rarely does either, even though I want to have it because I love my boyfriend and want to take care of him.

It's very difficult to get me aroused, and when I do the only symptom I have is wetness. My nipples don't harden, I don't get flushed, my pupils don't dilate, I don't breathe heavily, etc. And not being able to get sexually aroused makes it tough for me to be mentally into it. I feel like a f*** toy sometimes. Things like porn or the occasional sex scene in a movie used to turn me on (the same with erotic literature) when I was younger (never felt the need to do anything about it) but they don't anymore. So what's up?

I know my sex drive is low, and I may have suspicion why. I do have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) that, as a scholarship student, is centered around my grades and the worry that I won't be able to find a job after I graduate with my Bachelors in Human Service Counseling and therefore default on my Stafford loans. This also leads to slight depression. I know these elements are contributing to my low libido, even though I didn't have GAD in high school, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do or how to get it under control. I love my boyfriend, and I want to enjoy everything with him!

First of all, I have a boyfriend, and I'm currently going into my second year of college. However, I seem to be having problems with my sex drive. It's always been like this. During puberty, I was never horny and didn't feel the need to go out and bang something. My hormones never filled me with the urge to masturbate or release sexual energy. They certainly don't now. As of today, I've never had an orgasm and touching myself doesn't give me any pleasure. Sex rarely does either, even though I want to have it because I love my boyfriend and want to take care of him.

It's very difficult to get me aroused, and when I do the only symptom I have is wetness. My nipples don't harden, I don't get flushed, my pupils don't dilate, I don't breathe heavily, etc. And not being able to get sexually aroused makes it tough for me to be mentally into it. I feel like a f*** toy sometimes. Things like porn or the occasional sex scene in a movie used to turn me on (the same with erotic literature) when I was younger (never felt the need to do anything about it) but they don't anymore. So what's up?

I know my sex drive is low, and I may have suspicion why. I do have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) that, as a scholarship student, is centered around my grades and the worry that I won't be able to find a job after I graduate with my Bachelors in Human Service Counseling and therefore default on my Stafford loans. This also leads to slight depression. I know these elements are contributing to my low libido, even though I didn't have GAD in high school, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do or how to get it under control. I love my boyfriend, and I want to enjoy everything with him!

I'm going to give you the full story so you can better understand it.

If I did, it was pretty underwhelming. I'm 19 years old, and my boyfriend and I (now separated for the summer) have been together about three months. Though I've had one boyfriend before him (who I did nothing with, not even kissing), he's probably the first guy I've ever been physically and sexually attracted to. I thought I was asexual for the longest time because I never felt the need to go out and bang something in my hormone-raging teen years. I wasn't interested in sex, and I certainly never felt like I had to masturbate. And behold, second semester of my freshman year in college I meet my current boyfriend of 3 1/2 months, who I love and plan on marrying in the future (it's ok; he is too). Before him, I was a virgin and had tried touching myself once or twice to no avail.

As of today, albeit a short break in between, we've had sex 12 times. I haven't climaxed once or even come remotely close. Sometimes, I can't even tell the difference between the condoms we use. We do foreplay, but I guess he doesn't give it enough time, and I partly blame me for not knowing my own body. He's only had one sexual partner before me, and she was his girlfriend of 9 months (he was her fourth partner), and they were sexually active after their first week together. So granted he's had lots of practice; it took him 15 tries to get her off, though after he figured her out she never had trouble orgasming even though he does ejaculate a little prematurely. And I do have trouble, so it's a little disheartening, and I'm finding myself jealous of every woman (including his ex because she got to share it with him) who's been able to climax. It's something I don't want to miss out on. Yes, I've tried cowgirl a few times, but it doesn't necessarily feel fantastic. It's still super awkward trying to find out what feels good, and if you don't know what does, how are you supposed to learn? We've done doggy too but have failed because both times really hurt me. I was left thinking that maybe I couldn't have an orgasm.

So finally, I sucked it up. I tried touching myself. Because it's super hard to get me into the mood, and I don't get any symptoms of female arousal other than getting wet (cementing my idea of being asexual but wanting romantic attachments), I didn't use my fingers. It just doesn't work. I picked up my finger vibrator that I had bought a few weeks back and gave it a go, kind of forcing myself to feel good because I wasn't very aroused. I put some music on in the background and relaxed. I teased myself first before putting it on the clitoris. It felt damn good so I guess my pleasure receptors aren't completely dead. It only took a couple minutes from that point to bring me to what I THINK was an orgasm. My body tightened, my breathing got heavier, my leg muscles twitched, and I felt heat pooling and spreading to my chest. Then I got a head rush that made my head buzz and I relaxed. That was it. It only lasted a few seconds. Then I was confused. Was this an orgasm? It's very underwhelming if it was. I didn't feel the need to scream out and moan, I didn't get any pulsating or spasms that left me shaky or blissful and unable to stand up. It wasn't very earth-moving or the incredible experience every girl has made it out to be. It left me feeling nice, but it didn't last so I'm guessing it was a small one. Did I have an orgasm? I'm kind of let down. Another thing I'm worried about is becoming dependent on a vibrator to get me off. I want to figure out how to do it with my boyfriend or with my own hands. Any help is appreciated.

I'm going to give you the full story so you can better understand it.

If I did, it was pretty underwhelming. I'm 19 years old, and my boyfriend and I (now separated for the summer) have been together about three months. Though I've had one boyfriend before him (who I did nothing with, not even kissing), he's probably the first guy I've ever been physically and sexually attracted to. I thought I was asexual for the longest time because I never felt the need to go out and bang something in my hormone-raging teen years. I wasn't interested in sex, and I certainly never felt like I had to masturbate. And behold, second semester of my freshman year in college I meet my current boyfriend of 3 1/2 months, who I love and plan on marrying in the future (it's ok; he is too). Before him, I was a virgin and had tried touching myself once or twice to no avail.

As of today, albeit a short break in between, we've had sex 12 times. I haven't climaxed once or even come remotely close. Sometimes, I can't even tell the difference between the condoms we use. We do foreplay, but I guess he doesn't give it enough time, and I partly blame me for not knowing my own body. He's only had one sexual partner before me, and she was his girlfriend of 9 months (he was her fourth partner), and they were sexually active after their first week together. So granted he's had lots of practice; it took him 15 tries to get her off, though after he figured her out she never had trouble orgasming even though he does ejaculate a little prematurely. And I do have trouble, so it's a little disheartening, and I'm finding myself jealous of every woman (including his ex because she got to share it with him) who's been able to climax. It's something I don't want to miss out on. Yes, I've tried cowgirl a few times, but it doesn't necessarily feel fantastic. It's still super awkward trying to find out what feels good, and if you don't know what does, how are you supposed to learn? We've done doggy too but have failed because both times really hurt me. I was left thinking that maybe I couldn't have an orgasm.

So finally, I sucked it up. I tried touching myself. Because it's super hard to get me into the mood, and I don't get any symptoms of female arousal other than getting wet (cementing my idea of being asexual but wanting romantic attachments), I didn't use my fingers. It just doesn't work. I picked up my finger vibrator that I had bought a few weeks back and gave it a go, kind of forcing myself to feel good because I wasn't very aroused. I put some music on in the background and relaxed. I teased myself first before putting it on the clitoris. It felt damn good so I guess my pleasure receptors aren't completely dead. It only took a couple minutes from that point to bring me to what I THINK was an orgasm. My body tightened, my breathing got heavier, my leg muscles twitched, and I felt heat pooling and spreading to my chest. Then I got a head rush that made my head buzz and I relaxed. That was it. It only lasted a few seconds. Then I was confused. Was this an orgasm? It's very underwhelming if it was. I didn't feel the need to scream out and moan, I didn't get any pulsating or spasms that left me shaky or blissful and unable to stand up. It wasn't very earth-moving or the incredible experience every girl has made it out to be. It left me feeling nice, but it didn't last so I'm guessing it was a small one. Did I have an orgasm? I'm kind of let down. Another thing I'm worried about is becoming dependent on a vibrator to get me off. I want to figure out how to do it with my boyfriend or with my own hands. Any help is appreciated.

I'm going to give you the full story so you can better understand it.

If I did, it was pretty underwhelming. I'm 19 years old, and my boyfriend and I (now separated for the summer) have been together about three months. Though I've had one boyfriend before him (who I did nothing with, not even kissing), he's probably the first guy I've ever been physically and sexually attracted to. I thought I was asexual for the longest time because I never felt the need to go out and bang something in my hormone-raging teen years. I wasn't interested in sex, and I certainly never felt like I had to masturbate. And behold, second semester of my freshman year in college I meet my current boyfriend of 3 1/2 months, who I love and plan on marrying in the future (it's ok; he is too). Before him, I was a virgin and had tried touching myself once or twice to no avail.

As of today, albeit a short break in between, we've had sex 12 times. I haven't climaxed once or even come remotely close. Sometimes, I can't even tell the difference between the condoms we use. We do foreplay, but I guess he doesn't give it enough time, and I partly blame me for not knowing my own body. He's only had one sexual partner before me, and she was his girlfriend of 9 months (he was her fourth partner), and they were sexually active after their first week together. So granted he's had lots of practice; it took him 15 tries to get her off, though after he figured her out she never had trouble orgasming even though he does ejaculate a little prematurely. And I do have trouble, so it's a little disheartening, and I'm finding myself jealous of every woman (including his ex because she got to share it with him) who's been able to climax. It's something I don't want to miss out on. Yes, I've tried cowgirl a few times, but it doesn't necessarily feel fantastic. It's still super awkward trying to find out what feels good, and if you don't know what does, how are you supposed to learn? We've done doggy too but have failed because both times really hurt me. I was left thinking that maybe I couldn't have an orgasm.

So finally, I sucked it up. I tried touching myself. Because it's super hard to get me into the mood, and I don't get any symptoms of female arousal other than getting wet (cementing my idea of being asexual but wanting romantic attachments), I didn't use my fingers. It just doesn't work. I picked up my finger vibrator that I had bought a few weeks back and gave it a go, kind of forcing myself to feel good because I wasn't very aroused. I put some music on in the background and relaxed. I teased myself first before putting it on the clitoris. It felt damn good so I guess my pleasure receptors aren't completely dead. It only took a couple minutes from that point to bring me to what I THINK was an orgasm. My body tightened, my breathing got heavier, my leg muscles twitched, and I felt heat pooling and spreading to my chest. Then I got a head rush that made my head buzz and I relaxed. That was it. It only lasted a few seconds. Then I was confused. Was this an orgasm? It's very underwhelming if it was. I didn't feel the need to scream out and moan, I didn't get any pulsating or spasms that left me shaky or blissful and unable to stand up. It wasn't very earth-moving or the incredible experience every girl has made it out to be. It left me feeling nice, but it didn't last so I'm guessing it was a small one. Did I have an orgasm? I'm kind of let down. Another thing I'm worried about is becoming dependent on a vibrator to get me off. I want to figure out how to do it with my boyfriend or with my own hands. Any help is appreciated.