butter

The Kiss

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that...

1) you have to be single and 2) you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!"

Lil' Johnny on Politics

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****."

SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

one day happy monkey boy's mom called for him come

eat

your food boy and he said okay

and went down stairs to eat

but then he triped and fell in a hole somewhere

and he went to hospitail , and didnt get to eat his food

the moril of the story is to not say no to food unless your Thin

im sure that famous monkey does , yeah thats write the one with the curly red eyes! hahahaha so take that back ripped crack!

whats your awnser? to contact me on yahoo messager im Fat_crain , and i'm not fat its my nick name!

is it because im beautiful , i mean look at my pic ! amazing head structure wouldn't you say?

find me in chat at fat_crain in yahoo messanger!NOW !its just my nick name

the most famouse person in the world or is she just a monkey see monkey doo?

i dont know that answer!

why did the monkey poo in his hand ?

1/conk counch gonk honk clonck plonck

2/leper pepper stepper

3/chirper sherpa unsurper

4/lamina stamina examiner

the wining sentance will proseed to the next round!

if it was monday i'd feel gray

and then i'd eat a muffin while puffin untill i turn into a ragamuffin

then i'd run across a bowline, screaming out francolin and show my pangolin to a globulins masculines insulin ! peace out my people!

if you are an american answer?

if you are an american answer?

can a runner from lets say africa become an american that runs for america?

i'm greek!

my shoulder really hurts every time a throw a stone or an object , it all started from a fight i had 5 months ago , i held the person by his waast and he kicked it up! now every time it gets better i throw a ball and it feels like its been dislocated it hurts so much , what is the source of pain , and how do i treat it to get to its full abilaty again?

my shoulder really hurts every time a throw a stone or an object , it all started from a fight i had 5 months ago , i held the person by his waast and he kicked it up! now every time it gets better i throw a ball and it feels like its been dislocated it hurts so much , what is the source of pain , and how do i treat it to get to its full abilaty again?

my shoulder really hurts every time a throw a stone or an object , it all started from a fight i had 5 months ago , i held the person by his waast and he kicked it up! now every time it gets better i throw a ball and it feels like its been dislocated it hurts so much , what is the source of pain , and how do i treat it to get to its full abilaty again?