David W

He's got a state-level singing voice, solid musical ability on band instruments, poise on stage, great public speaking and line memory, and he's tall and handsome. But he only did well in music and performing in high school and he's about to wash out of college. Short of just putting him on the road and telling him to drop me a card from Malibu when he makes it, where should I guide him in education if he washes out of college?

My ideal conversational partner is bright enough to be interesting and adventurous enough to be sexy. I find intelligent women sexy but too often the development of intellect means to them that they have to downplay their appeal. Frustrating, isn't it.

If you decided it was all over sexually between you and him and you were never going back, what could he do to change your mind? Anything? Why did you cut him off to start with? If you went back, why?

I can sort of understand gritting your teeth and trying just to get through things like algebra and geology and all that, but why don't students get excited about English, since knowoing how to read, write and speak has a direct impact on your later-life success? Any HS teachers got any success/horror stories to share?

Not the same way as my wife of 20 years. I am with powerful, assertive, confident women in my work all day. They confide in me how lonely they are and how men are afraid of them so they never have dates or relationships. Some of them are making it known that they want me -- they find it stimulating that I like aware, refined, intelligent, confident women. I even love one or two of them in a work-love kind of way -- not the same as I love my wife, and I would never act on these feelings for these other women. BUT: Am I wrong to be frank with my wife about how I feel? I do the best I can to show her that she's tops on my list, always have; but in recent years, as her interest in sex with me has dwindled as it sometimes will at the 20-year mark or so, I see my confessed feelings for these other women are beginning to bother her more. So what should I do? Bottle up my feelings and deny them until they explode in some kind of inappropriate action? Advice, please?

I get several names from Internet searches. Please only respond if you have personal familiarity. Thanks.

I'm a 50-year-old man who values intelligence, wit and sexiness in women. Particularly I like to chat frankly (not necessarily sexily, but not necessarily avoiding it either) with female doctors, lawyers, and teachers. My wife used to be similarly stimulating, but she's more into raising the kids these days and doesn't have much left over for me at the end of the day. I don't think I'd ever actually go meet these women I like to chat with (but I'm not sure what I'd do really I guess), so is this cheating?

Especially if you're a successful executive or business owner. Are you tired of everyone (led by your wife and kids) taking their slice of you and not asking how they can make your life easier? They just assume you're steady as a rock and are always going to be there, and no one knows how resentful and paralyzed inside you're becoming. Or is this only at my house? I'd love to get something two way going here, if anyone would tell me their feelings at the e-mail response address. Tell me how you feel. .

My daughter is an exceptional clarinetist, of distinction enough that I believe she could receive significant scholarship help to supplement our meager means and attend an Ivy League university. On which Ivy League school could she best set her sights?

Trying to decide where the line is between "oh well, I'll just shrug off this casual disrespect" and "this is really too much, I've got to make a stand...soon." What experiences with swallowing your pride have you had?

10 years ago my wife started wanting sex less often than I did ... five years ago she starting the off-putting excuses and canned avoidance comments ... two years ago she closed the gates completely ... now if I broach the subject she gets hostile, and if I reach out to touch her I feel her cringe. She doesn't believe in divorce, so now what happens?

A couple of months ago I asked what female teachers do to relieve sexual tension generated in their classrooms. The chorus of voices that shouted me down insisted that female teachers don't ever have those kind of thoughts. Well, the long-term teachers that reacted probably don't, but you know and I know that several do, so I need your stories to back me up. You're a female teacher ... know of a female teacher (no legends, only things that you know personally please).

to retaliate when wives scorn, argue, mock, and deny sex to them? And why would a husband stay in a situation like that? What kind of fantasy-revenge-sublimation do they do? Why don't they tell their wives and get a divorce? Are children a sufficient reason? Or are there other reasons they continue to endure a difficult situation? Do they plan to do something about it someday? I'm most interested in hearing from men with personal experience in tough marriages.

I know a man who is unhappy to the extreme in his marriage, his pretty wife is a total disrespectful shrew to him and his kids don't appreciate him, but he slogs on, obviously unhappy, and the only person who doesn't know it is wifey (kids do). But if you ask her, she says (and thinks) all is fine. Guys in this situation, how did you get this way, and why do you put up with it when life is so precious and there may be such limited free time left for you? Please let me know.

I know female teachers of teen or young adult boys are only human, they must get aroused but must not show it. When I was in school I had intense crushes on my female teachers. I just wondered how female teachers deal with it.