Unkown

I am 19. A week ago, I was thriving in life. New job, good grades, making new friends. Going to the gym and trying to get bigger. Today, my life has turned upside down. I am a gay male, not open, but have always been. about 6 days ago, I started to think I had gender dysphoria. The reason for this? Because when I express myself to certain people, I sometimes do feel more feminine. I do have a bossy, sassy, attitude, mainly around males. Around women, I tend to feel more masculine. I do listen to women podcasts, and will often use their articulate words and expressions in my own speech. I do the same for males as well. I have never woken up one day in my life and thought I was in the wrong body, nor have I ever hated my genitals. Nor have I ever wore girls clothes, or wanted to. I do have body confidence issues thought and will often compare myself to other boys my age. 

My mind is a wreck now. I spent hours reading online about this, which only makes my anxiety and fear worse. I constantly feel distressed, and am stuck in a cycle where I think I'm just a gay male, then I think I have this disorder. I am to the point where I am not even thinking straight and am hyper-fixated on every aspect of my life. Should I wear this? Or that? I am now looking at myself in the mirror constantly as well, trying to find validation to make sure I look normal. I need some honest advice. I am seeking a therapist, but won't see them till next week. I want to go back to my life before this chaos