Andy

Please help I have trouble with my stories getting to the plot too quickly, any tips on how I can make this story slow down would be great.

So my question is: Is the story progressing too fast and if it is how can I slow it down?

Secondly, is it a good story, is it well written? Do I need to quit writing, I mean some writers should quit altogether, but am I one of those? Please be deadly honest, I can't stand candy coding, be harsh if needed, otherwise I can never expect to be any good can I ?

Here is the link to the story: http://www.wattpad.com/12044848-fire-witch-chronic...

Is this fantasy story any good or should I chunk it?

I am currently working on a story, to tell you the truth not sure where it is going I don't do outlining, but I do know how I want the end and the rules of magic and the society in this story will be. I did map out a few items, but they are scarce in my notes. So here is the link to my story:

http://www.wattpad.com/12044848-fire-witch-chronic...

tell me what you think.

I am currently working on a story, to tell you the truth not sure where it is going I don't do outlining, but I do know how I want the end and the rules of magic and the society in this story will be. I did map out a few items, but they are scarce in my notes. So here is the link to my story:

http://www.wattpad.com/12044848-fire-witch-chronic...

You could tell me what you think on here or on wattpad. I want all answers to be completely honest. The only way we can become better writers is of course to learn from past mistakes. Thanks and enjoy.

Okay, so here is my question. I have cerebral palsy, do you think it is wise to try to get a job at Mc D's? I have mild CP and I can't really use my left hand very well. I am a full-time online student and I do receive SSI, but it is of course not enough to live on. I want to work about 50 hours a week so I can earn enough for an apartment. I am a very hard worker, but I don't want to get to MD's and them turn me down just because of my CP, which is illegal but I mean other than them not hiring you, you really have no proof and then it is their word against yours. I want to also say I live in a redneck town where most of the citizens are very ignorant about disabilities and most of them think when someone has CP it means you're mentally retarded.

I am 20 years old and I receive SSI for mild Cerebral palsy. I feel like I can hold down a job. I am of average intelligence if not a little higher than average. I am financially responsible and I want to gain some real life experience. Now, I have looked for lots of jobs and I can't find a single one due to the current economic crunch. I guess what I am really trying to ask is can I receive SSI and do the Ticket to work? If that is the case I feel like it is wrong to the people who cant work.

I have a ematic ereader and if I plug it into a usb for the first time it syncs to the computer if you take it out and put it back in a blue light flashes and it allows you to use it and it shows that the battery is charging. I have never done this before, will it really charge it I unplugged it for a few seconds and it powered down. I think it will only power the ereader while it is connected via usb cord. What do you guys think I am going to try leaving it alone for an hour then unpluging it.

Tell me what you think, fan me on watt pad if you like this. Is it any good? you be the judge.

Link:http://www.wattpad.com/story/1648684-demon-hunter-...

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1648684-demon-hunter-...

I am currently writing a story called Demon Hunter Academy. I want some negative feedback so I can improve my writing skills. I am not really worried about the grammar and typos as it is a rough draft. Do I need to work on my description? Or my character development? Or both? Is my style ok? What could improve my style? Critical answers are what I am asking for. How can we as writers improve if we don't recieve feedback on our faults. I actually want to improve, so please help me. I don't really care about how many wattpad fans and reads I get. I want to improve my skills on communication and storytelling. Here is the link to my wattpad story tell me what you think, Thanks:http://www.wattpad.com/story/1648684-demon-hunter-...

I decided to start a new novel. I would love some feedback. Please do not be afraid to hurt my feelings, how can we become better writers if we don't know how to improve? Thanks

Here is the link:http://www.wattpad.com/5636762-demon-hunter-academ...

I have mild cerebral palsy. I am a online college student studying English, I love to write. I am 20 years old and I live with my mother. I cannot drive, I sometimes fear I will not get a job because I can't drive and I also have applied for jobs and they would not accept my application, I have never been in a interview. I honestly think it is my cerebral palsy. I even applied to Mc Donald's they would not hire me. I can't live on my SSI check. I wouldn't even be able to pay rent for a one bedroom house. I want to work, but I can't drive and it seems like nobody will even take a look at my resume. I even have a compTIA A+ hold a gpa of 4.0 and I am a junior in college. I don't know what I am going to do! Help please!

Jacob sat in the class room and watched the robot teacher Mr. X42 give a lecture. He missed home. The technology wasn’t near as advanced and complicated. He looked across the room; to the right of him. It was a girl coughing; she was Japanese. She was also beautiful. Jacob looked the other way and concentrated on trying to pay attention to the history lecture.

Then Jacob heard another cough. This time it was coming from a snotty nosed young adult male. Damn a lot of people are getting sick Jacob thought to him-self. His health was more important than the history class, he had the highest grades anyway so, he would still pass and he could get a recorded version of the lecture from Mike the camera guy. Jacob walked out of the classroom and down an escalader to the bottom floor.

Jacob stepped outside and took a long deep breath of the Ferra air, although after that he wish he didn’t because he still was scared of getting sick. Jacob was going to do whatever it takes just to not get sick. Jacob pulled out a small remote that favored a laser pointer and aimed it to the ground. The remote shot out a red light that turned into a holo-gram. It was of a woman.

“Where is your destination? Sir,” the holographic woman asked. “Bridget, I need to go home,” Jacob said still pointing the laser like remote towards the ground. Bridget said, “one moment please,” and then the sound of a keyboard and a fast typist clashing could be heard. The next moment Bridget said, “Welcome home.” Then the Holo-gram disappeared.

Jacob put the laser like remote into his pocket, and then decided to turn on his Holo-projected television. He created it himself. This whole Ferra world was still new to him, **** it was still new to everyone. But he was watching his TV and he saw something he won’t soon forget. It was the president. He was going to make a speech. Jacob was glad he ditched school now. The president was heavily guarded. He looked from his podium with fear.

Everyone in the audience looked disappointed everyone, loves the president. Even the people that Taru brought over from Japan they considered themselves as citizens under the president’s rule. “Ferrians, I must ask you to stay inside your homes. A major outbreak of the flu seems to have surfaced. We are still doing investigation and trying to solve this problem. We will be having a meeting with physicians from old America and old Japan to see if we can get this under control. We will now take questions.”

Someone from the crowd stood up.

“Is there any speculation that Taru has anything to do with this outbreak?”

The president spoke once more. “That is a good question indeed, but me and my council can’t blame all of these events on Taru. Actually if you are watching Taru, we need your help. I was wrong to cast you aside, but now we need to let bygones be bygones and come up with a solution together.”

The room went silent except for a few coughs. Someone Got up and said, “Do you think we could fix this problem with, taking out all of the Japanese? I mean they are probably the ones who brought this bug to Ferra.”

A mix of hollers rolled throughout the room this caused a uproar. People started hitting people, Jacob looked at the Holo-television stunned.

“Order!” the president hollered at the top of his lungs.

“I will not have jungle made into my conference room! There is no need for this.”

The president then pointed at the man who started all of this and snapped. Two body guards took him out of the room. Each of the body guards carried one arm.” The man was kicking the air trying to escape.

The room calmed down and the president was escorted out of the room. The channel switched to the original scheduled programming and Jacob could not believe what he just saw. Just then Jacob felt his phone vibrating. It was Jim. Jacob and Jim used to debate theories of how the planet of earth and human kind came about and until the rapture they put their money on the ‘Big Bang Theory.’

Now that they know that there actually was a higher power they felt ignorant and kind of faded away from talking to each other. Once America started sending people to the planet Ferra they exchanged phone numbers, just for shits and giggles. Now, since all of these events have occurred. Jacob figured that they would have something new to debate about. So He touched a green button on his touch screen and answered the phone.

“Dude, did you see that?”

“Yep.”

“Can I tell you something? I kind of want to tell you in person.”

Jacob understood completely. He knew that phones could be transmitted; from a secret room in the governmental house.

“Yeah, come on over man. There are a few things that are bugging me that I need to talk to someone about.”

Jacob tapped the red button on his phone to end the phone conversation. He then put his phone in his pocket and decided to fix a snack for him and his guest.

Dragnara: The last Dragon Rel

It was a snowy day, the wind was blowing in my face fighting me, as if protecting me from what I was about to see. I can still feel the terror, as I looked at the dead body in front of me. He was a boy in his teens, severely burnt by a dragon. From what was left I could see an expression on his face, this expression still haunts me. I wanted to vomit, but that's just disrespectful. I cursed under my breath instead. The air was so cold. I could see my breath traveling through the air. I knew I shouldn’t stay out for too long. In this part of Dragnara the city of Belon it is not safe to stay out for too long. It was getting dark and the natives of this land the orcs, have been known to travel in packs and will steal anything of value.

I vowed to myself that if I see that dragon around Belon. I will kill him; I had enough reason to show no mercy on this particular dragon, for he meant nothing to me. This is the very same dragon that left me heartless. I show little to no sympathy for anyone now. This dragon’s name is Racon, he killed: My mother, my brother, and my sister. All of these murders were because of him. I have nobody, except my grandfather my mother’s father. My father, well I don’t know my father never heard of him, I know I have one, just no idea where he could be.

I decided that the boy at least deserved a proper burial, even if most of his body was eaten up by Goblins and some parts even burnt to a crisp from the fierce fire of Racon. I started my quest to make a grave. I dug into the snow with my hands, I came across something hard. I franticly took my digging to the next level. It was a shield; a kite shield was this boy a knight? No, judging by the remaindering of his scared face, he was far too young for that, a squire at the most. I examined the shield; there was a coat of arms on it. From the look of it; it was a family crest coat of arms, an heirloom. I glanced back from where I had found the shield and I saw a golden hilt, it was real gold. I remember thinking; I wonder how much I could get off of this. I knew that I didn't need it to use. I am an archer. A pretty damn good one too, so I knew that the gods weren’t trying to tell me something and even at close range I keep a dirk dagger in a leg sheath on my right leg.

I pulled the sword from the heap of snow with my right hand; the left hand was occupied with the shield. Even the sheath to the sword was magnificent. I put the shield face up in the snow, so that my left hand could accommodate my right hand. I unsheathed the sword and it was beautiful, to me it looked as if it had been made by the King of Elves himself, Grandon. Elves, tricky little beings as they are, they have an abnormal skill for creating weapons of great style and efficiency. I think I can at least get a couple hundred pounds of meat for this sword, that means me and Grandpa won’t have to go lightly on food for a long time. I put the sword back into the sheath watching the metal go in slowly, and then I snapped it completely shut. I loosened my belt and slid the sheathed sword into the belt on my left hip. I picked up the shield and decided to let the boy’s body decompose naturally. The walk to my house was not very long from where I was. I was ready to take my hunting gear off. My legs were getting tired from the slope, the shield was heavy. I reached my house before nearly collapsing trying to catch myself I grabbed onto the door-knob. I took a deep breath of cold air in and stepped inside.

“Grandpa, I am home I found something that might…” Mid-sentence I realized I was talking to myself. Oh he’s probably outback getting fire wood, I told myself. I walked from the living room to the kitchen and laid the sword and the shield on a wooden table so that Grandpa would notice it. Our home was nice enough; Grandpa has done a lot of work on it, with him being a wizard his age don’t affect him any. I wish I had magic, the only thing I had was strength and debatable brains. I walked down the long hallway from the table, to the fire place, it was empty, and I found this a bit queer, normally it is lit at all times no matter what. Well there is a time for a first time everywhere I guess. I did not think much of it; instead I thought I should get all of this hunting gear off me. I looked in the mirror. Oh what would my mother say? My once long beautiful hair was now short. Not like boys hair, but so that it doesn’t get in my eyes. I can remember my mom’s tender gentle voice as she would say, “Elizabeth, sit up straight, keep your eyes off your food and never talk at the table that is a man’s job only.”

My mom would let people push her; I am nothing like her she was about manners and keeping peace. I could care-less I have the same manners as any man has. I don’t know why we should be treated as opposites. I thought about the shield and the sword I found earlier today. I could not wait for Grandpa to see it.

This is one of my ongoing works and it seems like I am very limited to a small audience any tips. If you could please check my story out on wattpad and tell me what you think. You do not have to be a wattpad member to read books on wattpad. Here is the link to the story. http://www.wattpad.com/2874220-dragnara-the-last-d...

Ok, the reason for this question is this when I finish Technical college I plan to go to a university right now my major is associates of Arts but I do think i need to know If I can obtain a BS like engineering if I transferred with a AA. Excuse my punctuation I am in a hurry.

Ok, now to any ignorant idiot wanting to try to act cute don't comment. Every-time I put a dip in and try to suck the juices out there is a spot on the lower left half of the back of my head. do i need to see a doctor about this. I know i need to quit dipping but I really don't think that is the problem. Thanks

A Vampire Story.

XxChapter: 1Xx

It was a night I won't soon forget, I felt good, I had the girl that I love next to me in the passenger seat of my mom's mini-van. The music was blaring and Andy was being crazy ol' Andy bobing his head and pumping his fist as he held his ipod in the other hand. He always was different than us he never would listen to rock like me and Gwen, no he blared rap through his ipod, he dressed way different than anyone at school, he had his very own style. Don't mistake him for a punk-skater gangsta type because then you would be wrong, his style was uniquely Andy. Gwen on the other hand well, she is a lot like me, I am not saying that I am proud of that, infact it actually gets very irritating and boring sometimes, I know her a bit too well. If I am watching anime, she will be watching the exact same show. The only big difference between me and her and I do need to empasize the 'big difference.' She looks like an angel, well a gothic angel but still even some of the football players have asked her out before. I was lucky enough to come into her life and tell a joke at the right time. I always have been able to make people laugh, looking at me I do not look like someone with a mind like Jay Leno or Jim Carry. I have long black hair, my looks are not really the best, but I guess they get the job done. Even though I have a lot of humour I am not exactly what you would call a happy-go-lucky guy, i should be counting all the blessing that I have, such as my smoking hott girl friend, awesome Andy and betsy the old van. But the story I am about to tell you needs no counting nor does it need any laughter, Infact this is one of the most depressing recollections of my entire life and I have lived a very long life. Let me start from were I was before I went into detail about my gang.

The stiring wheel was tight in my grip as the rain poured down onto the windsheild, my eyes that were trained to stare at the road, were really occupied by the massive amount of rain, yes washington does get a lot of rain, but Damn not like this. "So, were to now?" I inquired still focused on the road.

"I don't know, I thought we were going to your house to watch Deathnote." Gwen said with a wince preparing for Andy, who normally flips out every time he is about to watch one of his favorite animes. This time was not a time for one of Andy's ritual flipouts instead, he just kept his Ipod in his ears and kept noding his head to the beat.

If you want to keep up with this project go to my wattpad.

wattpad:http://www.wattpad.com/2400330-a-vampire-story-int...

I start college this spring and I have taken the compass and did drastically horribile on my mathmatics and I was placed into math 031 and math 032 in order to start regular college level math I must complete these two classes so the following semester I will be where I need to be. Here is my question If I wanted to give myself a head start and study up a bit what should i work on? Pre-algebra or basic math? Or algebra, geometry? Please help me out here.. Thanks.

Ok, So I am a college student. After college I want to move to NYC. Will I have trouble fining a job there do they like to see residence for 1 year? If it helps I am a computer programming major.In South Carolina.

So do I need to take steps to find a job are there any specific tricks? I can't drive I have mild cerebral palsy which means I can walk its just with a slight limp and my left hand is weaker than my right.

I want to move to NYC or Cali b/c I don't like to drive I actually can somewhat drive I really hate it though and I have always seen my sel as a city person and if I move to cali or nyc I will never have to drive again thank God!