Amanda

it was beaten in to my head that crying is a weakness  i have not  cried in 7 years some lessons you can't forget so i wear a smile after all a smile can hide a life time of pain

Friend told me that was not a healthy way to stop self harming that it was self harming I'm up 18 piercings 15 tattoo and set to get a new one in a few days I do the piercings myself so as soon as I get paid it will be 19 so is my friend right

This time a few years ago my best friend hugged me told me that we were family then she said something to this day wake me up she said goodbye she took her life that night goodbye is forever

He was hit a car and dose not remember it but I have to face it every day is it wrough for me to be afraid to be around him and somewhat hat him I have to face my abuser everyday and he doesn't even remember the sexual or any of the other abuse my self harm has gotten bad again I don't cry but I really don't know what to do it not like anything the law can it has been too long over 17 years ago

I m not suicidal that is why I no longer cut . Cutting you can mass up and cut to deep and die so I to burn myself starting to get worried the reason why is to feel something but it is starting to get really bad in 4 day I have 4 3 rd degree burns on my wrist I really don t know what to do anymore