Red

I have now been dating my boyfriend for 3yrs. I have known about him drinking for 2yrs. However I believe now that he has been drinking for almost 5 yrs. At first he hid it from me - really well. I use to think that he was just working or busy. When I found out I tried to help him. I talked to him and tried to be supportive. I tried to read up on it. Every time he would tell me that he was going to be better. He once quite for 4 months. I was so proud of him. But now it is getting worse. He always drinks at home. He hides it from his family, work and pretty much everyone else. He tells me that he does not ever want anyone to find out that he has this weakness. But everything came to blow 4 months ago. He started drinking and driving. He called me one night and for no reason told me that he was on his was to my brothers house to go beat him up. He was mad because my brother did not answer when he called him at 1am. I tried to talk him out of it. It did not work. So I drove for 45 min to my brothers house. On the way there I called my brother and asked him not to call the cops. I explained that my boyfriend had a lot going on and that because of his drinking he was not thinking clear. I arrived just in time to see him get out of the car and confront my brother. My brother kept his cool nothing crazy ended up happening. But I was so mad at my boyfriend. I did not talk to him for a week. He kept on calling me and my brother and promised us that it will never happen again. That was when he stopped for 4 months. His son has talked to him. He told his son that he should just move on and that he was never going to stop drinking. Lately he makes appointments with people and then never shows. Like when he had to go meet with his daughter to help her order her wedding invitations. He never showed. Or when he was suppose to meet with his other daughter to meet her fiance. He just never showed. Or when we have a movie date at 7pm and he shows up at 2am drunk out of his mind.

I talked to him about all this. I told him that he needs help. I told him that I did not believe that he can fix this by himself. He just tells me that I need to accept him for who he is. Drinking will always be part of his life.

So I told him that I can not see him anymore. But he now calls me yelling at me. Telling me that he has been there for me when I had tough times. That is true - but I have been through a lot more with him than he with me. I do not feel like I can trust him or depend on him. I feel like trying to be supportive all I am doing is making it so that he will never stop. I think he looks at me trying to be supportive as accepting the fact that he drinks. I am really worried about him. I do not want him to get hurt. I don't know what to do? Do I stay and try to help? Even if he does not want to help himself? Or do I walk away?He blames everything on me now. Wants me to give more in our relationship. Told me that it is my fault that things are this way. I need to care about him more. When I asked him if he would do the same for me he told me that I have to understand that he has too much going on and can not deal with my problems. He can not give me anything. I just have to take him the way he is.

I have been dating a wonderful man for the last 3 years. He is very caring and treats me with respect. If fact I love him so much that If he would ask me I would marry him. But around two years ago his 20 year old daughter started having problems. She is learning disabled and is getting into a lot of problems. She meets guys on a 1800 number and then goes and have sex with them. Recently she started dating a child molester. She has unprotected sex with all these guys. Because of that our time together is down to maybe an hour a week. I understand that he is going out of his mind. I try and help but I am at the point where I have no idea what to do with her. She is seeing a counselor but I can not see that it is helping. Our relationship is dying off in the corner and she just keeps coming up with new ways to destroy her life. I want to be there for him and her, and for the last 2 years I have been. We get into a lot of fights lately. Not over her, just random stuff. I love him so much, but I know that he needs to take care of his family first and that he needs to take care of her. He is the only one that can make a difference in her life and will always love her. But I need someone to be there for me too. I feel drained. Help. What should I do?

We just got back from a trip. We were gone for 3 days. It was great. We split all the expenses in half and as far as I can tell he also had a great time. We got back in town at 10pm last night. But at 1am he text me and asked me if I was hedging with him. He asked me to be upfront and honest with him? I have no idea where this is coming from. I am always very honest and upfront with him. Why would be ask me this and what does it mean?

My boyfriend of 2 years is 16 years older than me. We have both been married before. Both have more than 5 years being divorced. We get along great. Untill yesterday. I have had some weird things going on and told him that I was going to take a pregnancy test. He was really nice - went to the store with me. I though everything was OK. I took the test and it was negative. But it started a conversation. I told him that I was in no hurry to have more kids. Does not mean that I do not want to have kids later on. Maybe. He seemed just fine............. last night the texted me. He loves me but he is scared. I texted back and asked what the was scared of? He texted - Just leave me. I was shocked. We have been together for 2 years. So I texted him - What is going on? He texted back - Im nothing.....Im trouble........you know........I love you. What just happened? I was not trying to pin him down or push into something. We have always had a very open relationship. I feel very hurt. What to do?

He 18 years older than me and have 2 kids. Lately he has been going through a lot with his kids. His job is also crazy. And he is working on fixing up his house. When we do spend time together it is magic. I have never met anyone who is more tender or loving. The only problem is that I lately always feel like I am in the way. Before it was me that did not want to get married. Now I think that I have pushed him so far in that direction that he also thinks getting married is a bad idea. Is this relationship going down hill or do I need to wait it out and see what happens?