michele_zanella

Does anyone know of a over the counter med that can be taken for intestinal cramping

Im meeting my boyfriends 14 yr old and 8 yr old daughter soon. Dont think I will have a problem w/ the 14 yr old but worried about the 8 yr old, she is still upset over mom and dads divorce. I think we should wait till she is more comfortable, he doesnt want to wait. Any advice how I approach her, dont want her to hate me . I know I need to explain Im not there to take moms place but any advice how to make it a little easier on both of us.

A few yrs back I read a book from the library, probably best murder mystery I have read in awhile. Unfortunately I didnt write down name of book or the author, I dont believe he has written alot of books but Im hoping w/ the description you can help.

The plot is a husband who's wife was killed and he finds her diary she had kept describing all the affairs she has had through her life, the husband goes mad and goes through her journal and hunts down all the people she has had an affair with and when he finds them he mutilates there genitals and kills them and keeps the parts in a jar. Anyone familar with the story line or thinks they may have read it could you please let me know the name and autor of the book.

Thank you in advance.

A couple have a small child who is just getting old enough to understand most everything, so the couple have decide they need to come up with a code for when they want to mess around. The couple decide when they want to mess around they will simply say " Hey can you type a letter for me?". So one day the husband is sitting on the couch and decides Hmmm Im a little frisky so he asks his little one to go ask mommy if she has time to type a letter for daddy.

The child runs into the kitchen and says "Mommy, daddy wants to know if u can type him a letter?" Mommy replies " tell daddy I cant because my red ribbon is in today!" so she goes back and breaks the news to daddy.

The next day the wifes in the kitchen and decides she is ready to type that letter for dad so she tells her child "Go tell dad I can type that letter for him now!" so the child runs to dad and tells him .

The dad turns to the child and says " Tell your mother never mind I hand wrote the letter myself yesterday!!"

A guy is browsing through a pet shop one day when he comes across this parrot with no feet or legs, he exclaims "Man I wonder what happened to this parrot?". The parrot pipes up and says " I was born this way Im dysfunctional, I hold myself up on my perch with my pecker like a hook but you cant see because of my feathers." The guy is amazed and says " Oh man you can talk and understand me!". The parrot says " Yep and I can hold a conversation w/ you on any subject imaginable, I would make a great companion for someone !"

So the guy buys the parrot and takes him home. A week goes by and everything is great. Then one day the guy comes home and the parrot says, " Hey there's something going on w/ your wife and the mailman", every day he comes to deliver mail your wife greets him in a nightie and then he starts kissing her and ripping off her clothes!"The guy screams "NOOO!! then what happened!!!?" The parrot replies " Hell if I know I got a hard and fell off my perch!!!!!"

Does anyone know if in a common law state if you file for legal separation will it protect you in the divorce as far as shared properties are concerned if you buy a house while legally seperated before divorce is final.

A 70 yr old woman decides she wants to join the Hells Angels so she goes and knocks on their club house door.

A Large Biker answers the door and she says I want to join your club!

The biker say's ok but you have to pass certain criteria to get in,

Do you own a bike?

Why yes thats my chopper in the parking lot!

Do you smoke?

why yes the old lady says, 3 pks a day plus a couple joints before I go to bed!

Do you drink ?

Why yes so much that I could probably drink every man in your club under the table!

The biker says Wow you sound like one wild woman!! just one more thing,

Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?

The old lady replies, Nope! sure haven't but I have been picked up by my nipples and twirled around the room before!!!!!

I was outside the other day with my dog and he started scratching at the dirt until he broke the surface, then he started biting into the ground like it was an apple! is there nutrients in the dirt they know about or is he just a freak!

Anyone find their dog does this?

Anyone know the best and quickest way to get oil stains (car fluid stains) off of concrete. I've heard WD 40 works, just need to get it done! any help would be appreciated

"Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you little Johnny Parisi?"

" Yes father it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't tell you father, I dont want to ruin her reputation."

"Well Johnny, Im sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?

" I cannot say."

Was it Teresa Volpe."

"I'll never tell."

Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry but I cannot name her."

Was it Kathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

Was it Rosa De Angelo?"

"Please father I cannot tell you!"

"Your very tight lipped Johnny, I admire that. But you have sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months, Now go and behave yourself! "

Johnny walks back ro his pew , and his friend Rocco slides over and whispers "What did ya get?"

Johnny replies, " 4 months vacation and 5 good leads!!"

A woman an man are sitting by each other in the 1st class section of an airplane. The woman sneezes pulls out a tissue wipes her nose then shudders uncontrollably for 10 to 15 seconds. The man not thinking anything of it continues to read until the woman sneezes again, pulls out a tissue wipes her nose and shudders even longer this time.

Again the man dismisses it as a cold but starts to wonder about the shuddering.

A few minutes later the women again sneezes pulls a tissue out wipes her nose and shutters so hard she drops her purse.

The man finally cant stand it anymore and asks, I notice everytime you sneeze and wipe your nose you shudder uncontrollably are you ok?

The woman replies, Im so sorry I have a rare medical condition that causes me to orgasm everytime I sneeze!

The man more then a little embarrassed say's oh Im sorry are you taking anything thing for it?

The woman nods her head yes and says: Pepper!!

Ok has anyone ever had these results. Suppose to start period middle of Dec. hasnt came yet, have taken several ept tests all neg. Went and had a blood test says under 10 something "not pregnant" but then reads a 5 and say may be 1 to 2 weeks pregnant! Im confused! this ever happen to anyone else? they said to wait another week or so!! what else could be the problem, have cysts would this affect results?

Can someone take prenatal vitamins even if their not pregnant? I know when I took them when I was pregnant they did wonders for my hair and nails. Are they to much of an overload for someone not pregnant but wants the extra nutrition. Been very stressed lately and not eating correctly.

How many of you have used this particular test? how accurate was it? when it came out "not pregnant" was it accurate? Im well past when I should have started, dont feel pregnant at all, absolutely no symptons(weight gain, swollen breasts,etc).

does anyone know the most reliable at home pregnancy test to get?

Im trying to understand why people every year will go into frenzy to get the latest and greatest toy or game system for which the manufacturer always convienently is short on stock. Then they raise the price to a rediculous amt. yet people every year get trampled get into fights and just a day or so ago got shot while standing in line waiting for days to buy something their kid will have no interest in 3 months down the road.