Darren and Karleigh's mom

Not hilarious, but it made me chuckle.

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a

series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily

systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom,

he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He

suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed

beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed,

gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital

window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets

landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his

arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and

ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his

feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet,

staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard,

(barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the

whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the heck is

going on here?'

The drunk, still staring down breathlessly replied: 'I think I

just beat the **** out of a ghost!'

I don't want to drop the $$ if it doesn't really work but would love my daughter to have a head start on reading.

Just wondering if there's a real reason (like for points or whatnot) or if they're just being turds.

if I put my car in neutral at red lights instead of letting in idle in drive? I have an automatic transmission. I'm curious if it would make a difference.

We use cloth diapers on my 6 week old. We use All free and clear to wash them and only use 1/4 of the recommended amount per wash. Rinse in cold first then wash with soap in hot. My diapers still have a slightly musty "dried pee" type smell to them even after washing and of course a few have some light poo stains. I've read a little bleach can be added to help these problems but I can't find anywhere that says exactly how much bleach is "a little". Any suggestions?

My daughter is 6 weeks old. I pump for her and she is exclusively on breast milk. The past week I've noticed that I have no fat separation in the stored milk anymore. I used to get a nice thick layer of fat on top that I'd have to swirl to remix, now there is only a white swirl floating on the top of my milk in the bottles. I've tried pumping longer and more frequently, and shorter and more frequently. I didn't change anything at all when this started to happen. Now my daughter has green poop and is really fussy in the evenings since this happened. How can I get the fat back in my milk? I'm not dieting, I'm not exercising, and I haven't changed anything. I also do compressions and massage with no change.