diggerml

any particular brands, like asics, mizuno, etc?

I have black hair naturally. I realized that I have about 5 or so strands of hair in and around my bangs that are actually a golden color. It's pretty cool, but equally as weird. Please help!!

little johnny was sitting in class one day and his teacher asked him a question.

"johnny, if there are 19 birds sitting on a tree, and a man comes along and shoots 4 of them with his gun, how many birds are left?"

johnny replies," there aren't any birds left."

"no johnny, that's incorrect. there are 15 birds left. 19 minus 4 is 15."

"sure, but once the gun went off, all the birds fly away from the noise." johnny retorts.

"i'm sorry thats still incorrect, but i like your thinking."

johnny, angry that he got a question wrong, says, "ok teacher, i have a question for you. there are 3 women on a park bench. each of them has an ice cream cone. one of them is sucking it, one of them is delicately licking it, and one of them is biting into it. which one is married?"

the teacher blushes and responds," uh...that one thats sucking it."

johnny says," actually its the one with the wedding ring, but i like your thinking."

Little Johnny's dad decided one day to ask Johnny if he knew anything about the birds and the bees.

Johnny immediately shouted," I don't want to know!!!" and began to cry.

Confused, Johnny's dad asked why he was crying.

Johnny responded," Dad, when I was 6 I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus. When I was 7 there wasn't an Easter Bunny. At 8 the Tooth Fairy didn't exist. And now if you're going to tell me grown-ups actually don't have sex, I've got nothing to hope for!"

a rabbi and a priest bought a car together, and it was being stored at the priest's house. One day the rabbi walked over to the priest house to use the car, and saw him sprinkling water on it.

"what are you doing?" he asked.

the priest answered, "i'm blessing this car."

the rabbi shrugs, and says, "well, as long as you're doing that..."

and he goes into the garage, gets a hacksaw, and cuts 2 inches off the tailpipe

In a certain land, all the people have very strange bodies. When they consume a poison, the poison they consume can be negated by a stronger poison that is confused, and both poisons will cancel out each other. If a poison is consumed, and then a weaker poison consumed, then the stronger poison is not canceled, and is still effective.

One day a king decided his neighboring king was too powerful, and wanted to assassinate him. So the king wanted to use the strongest poison to kill him, so it wouldn't be negated by anything else. To find the strongest poison, he called the royal chemist and the royal alchemist to each create a poison. to motivate them to create the strongest poison possible, he said that the next day, when brought to the king with their poisons, that they would first drink each others' poisons, and then their own. therefore, the person with the strongest poison, would be sure to win, by negating the other's poison with his own stronger poison

i did a project on it, and i still don't know which side to take. dark matter escapes all wavelength particles and still is able to extend its gravitational 'influence' on galaxies.

Einstein's theory of gravity, and Keplers 3rd law (as edited by Newton) both say that judging by the mass of visible galaxies and their rotation speed, they should be flying apart, but they're not.

i play middle blocker

and please don't just put in a website, actually try to explain it

I have an earache

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.

2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

this'll take a while to read, but is funny

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

1. The Smartest Guy in Cell Block Three

2. Occupying Middle Eastern Countries for DUMMIES

3. If I Did It Once Again-O.J. Simpson

4. The iBrain,1001 Great Applications-by Steve iJobs

5. Mommy, What Were Polar Bears? - Scholastic

6. Wednesdays with Rummy-an old man, an older man, and life's greatest lesson

-Mitch Albom

7. Noam Chomsky Is A Big Fat Liar-by 2024 G.O.P Presidential Candidate-Al Franken

8. The Best Water Parks & Shopping Centers of the Amazon Rain Forest

9. Andorra. Ecuador. Fiji. The New Axis Of EVIL-Ann coulter

10. My Presidency-Jenna Bush

Please star if you like it

3 elderly ladies were sitting on a park bench, when a man lept out of the bushes and flashed them.

the first old lady had a stroke

the second old lady had a stroke

the third old lady's arms were too short

so he decides he's going to get a pet. He walks into a pet store and looks around the store. He doesn't see any animal that catches his eye, but then he sees a parrot on its perch with no legs.

The man says out loud, " Too bad for that parrot."

The parrot replies, " Tell me about it."

"That's funny," the man says, "It's almost like you understood what I was saying."

"I did," said the parrot," I'm a very intelligent bird. I give a lot of people advice, but most people don't buy me because I don't have any legs."

"Wow!" the man exclaimed. "But how do you stay on your perch without any legs?"

"Simple. I simply curl my d*ck around the end of my perch like a hook, and I stay on."

The man was amazed, and bought the parrot immediately. The man and parrot had a wonderful friendship. The parrot offered great advice to the man and the two got along great. One day when the man came home from work, the parrot said,"you won't believe it! the mailman was here with your wife today!"

You know what bugs me? people looking in the newspaper or on the internet to find horoscopes. uh, ok, sure yeah, because a rock moved 2 inches 3521 miles away and the planets are aligned, you're going to meet the love of your life today!

yeah right people, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF URANUS!!!

A priest is sitting on a park bench when a drunk comes up next to him with a newspaper tucked under his arm. The drunk sits down next to the priest, and starts reading the paper. The priest notices that the drunk is wearing tattered clothes, smelled strongly of liquor, and that he has lipstick marks all over his face.

After a few minutes the drunk turns to the priest and says, "Father, what is arthritis?" To this the priest replies,"It describes one who has many cheap prostitutes and abuses alcohol much."

The drunk says,"Well I'll be darned." and turns back to his paper. The priest realizes he's been a little to hard with his words so he says, " I'm sorry, my son, how long have you had arthritis?"

"Well I don't," the drunk says,"It says here in the paper that the Pope does."

An unmarried woman is newly pregnant and gets into an auto accident. She suffers a head injury and lapses into a coma for nine months. When she awakens in the hospital, she panics and asks about her baby.

Her doctor is called in and gives her a mild sedative, then he sits down to answer her questions. "I'm so happy to see you recovering", he says. The woman responds, "Thank you doctor, but what about my baby? Is everything all right?" He replies, "Yes, despite your injury, we were able to perform a fairly normal delivery procedure."

"In fact," he goes on, "you've given birth to twins - a boy and a girl". The woman is very happy and asks when she can see her new babies. The doctor replies, "Right away, but we've already sent the infants home with your brother. We'll call and tell him you're okay. While you were unconscious, your brother took care of everything for you. He even gave the babies names."

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

A teacher of English in Gotham, the legendary city famous for the not-so-bright, told his class of aspiring wirter,"Any good short story always contains one or more of these essentials: religion, emaotion, sex, mystery, surpise, and royalty. For you next assignment, write a story using as many of these essentials as possible."

The best one was only one line long:

"My God!" wept the beauty-contest queen. "I'm pregnant! Who can the father be?"

When a man brings his wife a gift for no reason, there's a reason.

sex: the most fun you can have without laughing

There are real answers to these questions!

1. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

2. How many seashells did she actually sell by the sea shore?

3. How many peppers did Peter really pick?

and lastly.....I give credit to Bill Watterson for this....

4. How many boards did the Mongols hoard, if the Mongol hordes got bored?

first to get it...