Capt. Swayworn

I don't have room for two suitcases.

http://www.overstock.com/Luggage-Bags/Travelers-Ch...

If you were, for example, writing a sketch and wanted one of the characters to come from the wackiest state possible, which would you choose?

(Bonus: and why?)

I know they're horribly unhip, but I need a few pairs.

Please only respond with certainty. "I bet Sunglass Hut might have them" will earn you a metaphorical roundhouse kick to the face.

My friend joined myspace to promote his band. Now I'm not sure, but it looks like he should have signed up via the "Music" page instead of via the normal sign up page. Can he convert his profile to a musician one? If not, what does he need to do? He definitely wants to keep his Custom URL.

What would the search terms be if I wanted to find James Smith's contact info but not any of the emails to, from, or about him?

When I take her to the dog park, she's calm around the other dogs. But if I'm walking her on a leash and she sees another small dog, 2/3 of the time she FLIPS OUT. Barking, straining at the leash. Usually if we're about to pass another dog and I see her tensing up, I'll just pick her up and walk past (but I can feel her little heart beat faster and sometimes hear her growl). Why does this happen?

(Please only list games that work on a Windows Mobile device with a 240x240 screen!)

In last week's episode of My Name Is Earl, the titular reporter was vilified for labeling Randy as being mentally retarded.

But isn't Randy actually... y'know, simple? Isn't that where a lot of the humor of his character comes from?

Someone from the Travel Channel found a clip of mine on YouTube that they want to use for a show. I was like "what the heck, sure." They emailed me a release, but it has a line for my Social Security Number, which they have no need for.

She'll sniff at their feet then lift a leg. So far we've been able to catch her in time. Once she even started to pee on another, smaller, dog.

I kind of feel like -- she's at the dog run; as long as she's not hurting anyone it's their job to take care of themselves. I certainly wouldn't be mad at a dog owner if their dog peed on me because I wasn't paying attention. What do you think?

Box cutters and even the tiniest knives are forbidden on airplanes. But what's to keep someone from bringing a piece of glass on board, shattering it into triangles, and winding a piece of cloth around half of it to use as a handle (a la Raven in Neal Stephenson's book "Snow Crash")? Surely that's a bigger danger than fingernail clippers.

They censor, they're owned by News Corp, their custom layouts make my eyes bleed, their Flash music player makes my ears bleed, and I constantly get the feeling they're striving to be more evil. What else is out there with similar features?

Please don't just give me a list; tell me what's good about the alternatives. And no Facebook; I'm not in school.

The manual's not totally clear on this point, and I want some WarioWare!

We just got a beautiful gray 2-year-old poodle. We take her downstairs to pee, but I can't help but feel like we shouldn't let her go just anywhere. For instance, I'd feel weird having my dog take a poop right in front of a restaurant window, you know?

What's the correct procedure for doggy evacuation? We have a hydrant right outside the bulding that seems perfect. Is it?

They'll replace the screen if it breaks, they'll repeatedly replace the battery (that costs > $100 itself) when it starts to stop holding its charge, they'll replace the computer if they can't repair it, and I'll be much more likely to enjoy the machine away from home knowing that I'm covered.

Yet I can't help but feel I'm being a sucker. What do you think?

If I double-click a (music) file ending in .mp3, Winamp opens. Yay!

If I double-click a (video) file ending in .avi, VLC opens. Yay!

But a file ending in .ogg might be music or video. How can I set up Windows so that music gets played in Winamp and video gets played in VLC?

For instance, if I google for BENTLEY MORESO, jacketmagazine.com/25/bentl-howe.html is ranked #1. What rank is www.en-gb.pledgebank.com/refuse?

(I'd like a methodology for finding this out, not an answer for just this example.)

I'd limit people to X questions per day, where X is their level.

I'd update the question lists more often, so that pressing F5 would almost always show new questions.

I'd let users subscribe to categories of questions, and then users could view a list of recent questions just from those categories.

I'd give people the power to take points away from dumb or poorly-formed questions.

There's a version that lets one make 60 second compositions, but it's gone off their site:

http://www.hyperscore.com/obtaining_hyperscore.htm...

Find it, and you'll get 10 points!

I know HTML, CSS, and have done a little ASP stuff a few years ago. I have an idea for an internet-based business that is somewhat beyond my abilities, however. What the best way to find a programmer who will build this thing for me? Should I try craigslist? Or maybe getafreelancer.com? Anybody have experience with this kind of thing?