greeneyedprincess

I have launched my new myspace account, and I want to connect with some of the friends I've met here, on there. Let me know if you have a MySpace, and we'll connect...

I've noticed a large number of so-called "Haiku" popping up on the site over the last few days. People are taking any 17 syllables, breaking them into 5-7-5 syllable stanzas and calling them Haiku. Don't you think that, as a poetry forum we should be a little more sophisticated in our definition of Haiku than say, the average 2nd grader?

Do you know what a Haiku is?

But still blocks your acccount. . .?

Concerning myself with this issue is close to absurd, because of how many vastly more important things I manage on a daily basis. There are millions of people on the internet, so the loss of one person's input/communication can't even be described as marginal - it's more like negligible. On the other hand, I don't enjoy being part of conflict, even if it's only a tacit choice. I'm not heartless, after all.

I can't send an email reply, because I'm still blocked - so I'm not sure what to do, or whether do anything at all.

-greeneyedevil

I struggled for a while.

Grabbing both sides,

My hands, lacking purchase

slipped on the curved surface.

Pulling down, kickout out,

letting out a shout of

Defiance and determination.

I vanquished the enemy!

Expelling it in a frenzy

of temporary glee.

Now where did I put the toilet paper again?

"The heartian language is harsh and sanguine, lying and loving at about the same time." -Dr. Kock

(Trivia: Dr. Kock is the illegitimate buttchild of James T. Kirk and Dr. Spock, as per the comedic stylings of Andy Dick).

Just lost money on a poker hand where someone bluffed and then made their hand in an extremly unlikely fashion. . .

Here's a rhyming poem, off the cuff - because I'm bored right now, and sitting out of poker for a few minutes to relax.

Lots of Flies

Deceit and its use.

Just start with the truth,

make room to use

cues and clues

to loosen and fuse

the you with the ruse.

Slighting the lies,

the sly can't deny

they righteously cry

beguile and contrive

but never imply

that they falsify.

So, do you like it or not?

Here is another one of my "serious" works. By "serious" I guess I mean I spent a lot more time on this than most. I'd love some serious criticism and feedback. Thanks!

Elysium in Effigy

"Maybe the Pleistocene, certainly earlier than one would expect," said the preternaturally intelligent monkey.

"Don't listen to him," said the stegosaurus with a smile, "this game's been played even longer than that."

A whirlwind of fire chewed the ground and spat out stars.

"Where once you were not, now are - even so will you again cease." Spoke the neverend.

"Again?" I asked.

"Yes," the neverend replied softly, "for this game's been played even longer than that."

A wave of fury and light passed through the darkness, a shock of presence in the endless night.

"What's this?" I asked the universe.

An infinitude of voices whispered through the unreality of time, "The Beginning."

"Of everything?" I asked.

Here's something a little different. Again, I'm on a freeverse kick tonight, so don't expect my usual overly-structured approach here. Do you like it?

On the Edge

Darkness withers around the edge of calamity.

It mocks the tempered solidity

of supposed reality.

The tidal forces of history grip the whole of the human race. Faces surface in the vicious black fluid of time.

Rictus grins fanged.

Bile drips from the razor canines of winged horrors.

From chaos I sense it.

The very soul of the void.

Endless waves of complexity yielding truth in simple prose.

"Dream of me."

"Speak me into existence and I shall come to you full-fledged, a scion of scarlet flame."

Where tattered half-told tales spin, alone I stand, weaving.

Together the fate of the world, the destiny of mankind.

In you alone, the choice.

Look upon the face of the deep,

with eyes not shrouded in fear.

Or to lament the passing of freewill.

Here is the marriage of my soul, to the only heart that makes mine whole. She is more beautiful than the sweetest summer day. My perfect Amy is the Everything I crave, and my solace always, ever. I love her - let the world be what may. I’ve not cause, nor care save she. And if it’s wrong to say, do not ask that I be right, for the truth is all I care to speak. Oh Heart, mine. Oh Love, mine. Oh nothing more could words attempt, than to offer apology for their lack. It is all I can do to try, and try. Though words fail to paint the truth, let these words at least pretend. Love always, love true. Love the us, the me, the you.

Ode to Amy (in freeverse)

Dine?

Of couse I shall!

A taste only,

Perhaps with a dessert wine?

A blush, I think

Something pink

and sweet to drink.

Perhaps more than a taste?

I thirst also.

It's practically an ache.

I'd fain leave such a dish.

Wet tongue tips, moistens

them, by licking lips.

And the glass is full.

Perhaps just a sip?

That should hit the spot.

Ode to Amy (in Haiku)

Meridian, she/Beauty finds its apogee/Passion wakes, hungry

Yeah, rhyming Haiku, cuz I want to.

The sun beats, and I feel the melted gum

sticking the ground to my shoe as I walk.

"It was yellow!" exclaims the faceless bum.

His face, I replace with his crazy talk.

Was it? I wonder as I walk away.

Though gum might not prompt most to question this:

I, for one, would like to know who threw it.

Whence from, does find the gum it's mouth remiss?

To care not for it, but just to chew it?

It's wrong. It makes no sense to think that way.

It's a sticky choice, and a tacky mess

To scrape away, or let the gum just fade?

For past harms I can find it no redress,

nor cancel debts for which I wasn't paid.

Odds are, the gum does not care, anyway.

Foolish. To care when it does not complain!

Off it goes, scraped against some likely rocks.

It passes from my thoughts but will remain

a random, dark smudge that this poem mocks.

Many things in life seem to end that way

This is a repost. I've changed a things and I am looking for some constructive feedback on what to work on.

Kekei-Genki and the brutal eye.

A "samnin-in-waiting," some people say.

Yet, copycat jutsu is Sharin-gan lie.

Your nindo is someone else's Way.

A sensei's tale is still just a story,

When none of your power comes from you.

Tell us again about the "chidori"

Is it fair to say you stole that too?

Does she need to say, "You're old and fat."

Or that you're not much to look at?

Must she explain her need to be

Fulfilled in mind, not physically?

Can you accept that every girl.

Inside still clings to a childhood dream.

Of horse and knight and chivalry?

Will you exchange your friendship, for pain,

trading it for some physical plea

that in either case will likely remain

A frustrated venture, a futility?

I am experimenting in free verse. Do you like it? Do you hate it? In what ways do you think I could improve it?

"The Innocence Within"

I stood there, standing at the Edge

searching vainly through the mist.

Have you chosen this?

I see you!

Wading brazenly in the swamp!

While sickly Cypress roots,

white as fleshless hands,

find purchase in the muck, I wonder.

Did you know, when you discarded them,

that the seeds would blossom thus?

Or that their grasping branches

might ensnare the idle dove?

Or how the greedy trees

would wrestle to the ground

and drown them in the mud?

You're drifting. Now you fade!

As if part of the mist.

Saddened, I turn to walk away.

But as I take a step from the Edge.

I feel it follow me.

I actually counted my Best Answers and I am Finally over 200, and should be on the top 10 for Poetry....it just hasn't updated in a couple weeks.

Is anyone else experiencing this? Or is someone out there just reporting my questions to be spiteful? I've gotten two violations today, which is really unusual - and I've been with Y!A since day one.

Here's a light-hearted poem to remind you to enjoy your weekend! Do you like it? Do you hate it?

"Watch"

Tick, tock. The clock won't stop?

Nothing, can stop the clock.

Deep, breathe. Yes! Breathe real, deep.

Breathe real deep and your corpse will keep.

-greeneyedevil

P.S. The comma following "What" in the title of my question is absolutely intentional.

In the spirit of "promoting understanding", here's a poem about people with a less than socially acceptable outlook on life. . .

Tell me what works & what needs to change. If you hate it, say you hate it - but tell me if you think I can improve it, too.

"Counting Sinners"

I will-

take a moment alone for atonement

a couple seconds to reckon my sins

In due time I'll define why I did it

And make peace with the beast that's within.

It's a chance to advance my agenda

Make a stand and demand that you see.

There's a price for the vice that you're living

There's a cost and you'll pay it to me.

-greeneyedevil

In the spirit of "promoting understanding", here's a poem about people with a less than socially acceptable outlook on life. . .

Tell me what works & what needs to change. If you hate it, say you hate it - but tell me if you think I can improve it, too.

"Counting Sinners"

I guess I'll just-

take a moment alone for atonement

a couple seconds to reckon my sins

In due time I'll define why I did it

And make peace with the beast that's within.

It's a chance to advance my agenda

Make a stand and demand that you see.

There's a price for the vice that you're living

There's a cost and you'll pay it to me.

-greeneyedevil