paul_e74

My wife of 10 years and mother to our 2 daughters has recently decided that we should separate. She has cited reasons like "I love you but I don't feel like I'm in love with you anymore" and "I need space to feel like a woman again" also "We are close friends but that's all I feel for you, right now." I understand that in every long term relationship there is a period or periods of distance and/or dissatisfaction but these are normally temporary. If I agree to a separation, how can I remain close enough that I'm not pressuring her or hurrying her to reconcile and return to our home should she ultimately decide to go? Also, how can I prevent this from happening?

I love her deeply and truly but I also want her to be happy. It would be selfish of me to demand that she just stay and work out her issues but at the same time, I don't think that it is unreasonable.

My question is this. First of all, I love her very much. I love our life together. I love our children. Now, to the point, she is not happy in our current situation. We have had some issues connecting and communicating our feelings in the past 3-4 years. She is talking about separation stating that she needs some space to figure things out, I am talking about counselling and figuring things out while still together. There has been no cheating, no malice, no vindications. Up until early this month, there was no indication of problems so deep that she would think separation is a good option. The last thing I want is to separate. I need to know what steps I could take to get her to reconsider this extreme action. As of now, we are still together but she has taken her rings off. Do I let her go in the hopes that she will miss me or do I stay and fight for the marriage, for her. I love her more than words can say.

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My question is more seeking advice but here goes anyway. How would a person go about this and still be able to provide for his family even in a limited capacity financially and emotionally?

I have lied to her and kept things from her in the past (5-6 months ago) and I have made a vow to stop and know in my heart that I have hidden nothing or lied about anything to her. She still feels she must go throught these motions and decide for herself. I understand this but that's not the point. She makes into a huge arguement and we usually end up having a blowout over something so trivial as the last cookie or the last piece of gum in a pack. I don't know what to do.