the_dragyness

A few months ago I got married. As I was planning the wedding I had a lot of problems with photographers. They kept cancelling! I vented to my bridesmaids and asked if they knew any photographers and if they could give me the contact info.

As a result, one of my bridesmaids and friend of nearly 10 years made a very generous offer: she wanted to pay for the photographer at my wedding. As generous as the offer was, I felt uncomfortable accepting and very politely thanked her for such a generous offer and told her we'd already set aside the money, we just needed the name of one who was available. I thought declining the offer politely would be the end of it. (plus she has 2 kids and only works part-time)

Was I wrong! Since then, she stopped talking to me and got one of the other bridesmaids (her best friend) to stop talking to me as well. The two of them canceled my bachelorette party without telling me. And when I asked what was wrong, I got a lot of passive-aggressive, "nothing". I didn't even know if they were going to show up at the wedding, though they did about 20 minutes before the ceremony and spoke *maybe* 10 words to me on the wedding day. (I wish they had just blown the day off, to be honest). I found out last week - a month after the wedding - that the reason for her horrible attitude was because I turned down her offer.

My question is this... did I violate some etiquette about turning down this "gift"? I can't wrap my head around all this, so I'm throwing it out here. If I was in the wrong, I would like to know. It was a small wedding and not the first for me or my husband (we're in our 40s and not kids), so I was going for low-key. When people asked what they could do/bring/give, my answer was, "show up and have fun!"

I'm thinking the friendship is over but I want to get an objective take on it first.

What do you think?

Looking at lower-end road bikes and there are 3 which are in my price range. Will be training over the winter and plan on riding the MS150 in April, so I need something fairly cheap that will take me through the Big Ride. Looking at Trek 1.2 ($799), Specialized Dolce ($899) or Fuji CCR-4 ($679). I'm actually leaning toward the Fuji right now. I've read that the Trek requires a lot of trade-ups (seat, pedals, brakes) and the Specialized is at the top end of my budget. Let me know if you have any personal experience with these. Thanks in advance!

I would like to get your opinion on whether a charge is fair. I have a company come to my house weekly to clean the pool and pay a monthly invoice for this work. During last month, there was a flow problem in the pool and I asked them to come out and take a look as they do repairs as well. The guy said it was a problem with a leaking valve and he could fix it for $65. I agreed and he then told me he didn't really have anyone available to make a trip out to fix the problem so I should call another company or I could fix it myself. I ended up fixing the problem myself. Now on my invoice, he charged me $25 for that trip.

I offered him the job and he turned it down and didn't tell me that he was charging me for the trip out. If I called him out to my house and got a diagnosis from him with the intention of taking my business elsewhere, I can see it. But I didn't - the job was offered to him. And this is my regular pool company and it was less than 5 minutes of his time. I didn't even understand what the charge on the invoice was for at first until he explained it.

So, I pointed out I didn't understand the charge and he responded that it was due to that trip for the estimate.

Now in your opinion is this a fair charge? My thinking is that since I offered him the work, he should have taken the job and I would have gladly have paid. Since he turned the job down it would cause me to have to now pay 2 pool companies - $25 to this one and whatever charges another company would charge (though in this case I decided to just do it myself with lots of driving to get parts, etc). I've been happy with the cleaning services and have never been late on a monthly invoice. I'm a good customer. I think this is bad business and if he makes an issue out of the $25 that I may take my business elsewhere. I think that if he doesn't have the time or resources to do repairs he should have said so on the phone before coming to the house and turning down the job and billing me for it.

What are your thoughts? Pay it or make an issue? Or just change companies?

Tried this stuff on a cut on my hand and about jumped out of my skin in pain when the stuff was applied. You'd think they'd put a label on the stuff saying, "only people who have pried an eyeball out of the socket with a fork may have an indication of the level of pain this product may cause." Then there's a hard crust on it which takes forever to heal. Never have I appreciated neosporin and a bandaid more.

For personal reasons, I'm curious about the following (I am female...)

Do you take Viagra so that you can get in the mood for sex to begin with? Or do you take it because you have no problem getting in the mood, but just need to be able to, um, well, finish things?

I'm interested to know any pubs or restaurants in Houston might be showing the debate on Friday (that is, if McCain decides to show). I'm particularly interested in someplace in west Houston where I can sit back and enjoy a beer while the candidates go at it.

I'm interested to know any pubs or restaurants in Houston might be showing the debate on Friday (that is, if McCain decides to show). I'm particularly interested in someplace in west Houston where I can sit back and enjoy a beer while the candidates go at it.

Finish the above statement with something funny and creative. Can be geeky, but not dirty. It's for a birthday card but I don't want to call the person old - I just want them to laugh.

I challenge you! 10 points for best answer!

I used to like riding my bike a lot, though I was never a "serious" biker. I'm now 38 and have put on a few pounds and would like to get another bike to work out. I'm not one of those people who can stand in one place to do my workout - I like to move. However, I really don't have any idea what a good bicycle would be. Here are my criteria:

*$300 max

*Must be comfortable on a mature bum

*Must be light enough to load in the back of a truck

I'm looking for the best deal for the money. I've looked at Walmart and Target (they have cheap bikes) but I'm not sure if those would be worth the money.

What is a good style? Thoughts?

Thank you!!!

This is probably stupid but I get this on a consistent basis. Whenever I meet new people and we start talking about our kids, I talk about my daughter. When I say she's 16, I get the following reaction, "I would never have guessed you had a child that old. You look so young!"

Ok, Ok. I know it's meant as a compliment, but it annoys me. It's usually younger women who say it and I *think* they think they are giving me a compliment. I just say a quick thank you and try to move on but it gets old.

Here's the thing - I definitely look like I could have a 16 year old - I have the wrinkles, uh, excuse me, "laugh lines" to prove it. I don't know of these people think they are obligated to extend this type of compliment when talking with a lady older than them, or whether they are just blowing smoke up my a$$.

1) Do you say this to other women? Why?

2) What's a nice but witty comeback that I can use to shut the young whippersnappers up?

3) Anything bothering you that you want to share?

Ok - I'm in a quandary here and need some help. Please don't bash me for my question - I know there is a fine line here and I just need some perspective.

My daughter just finished her sophomore year and tried out for quads for band for next year. Evidently, she *just* missed it - there were only 2 positions and she was choice #3. She's not able to try out for anything else as all percussion tryouts were the same day.

I understand that sometimes kids have to fail at something to learn from it. However, she has had a lot of disappointments in her life which I won't go into detail, and not nearly enough successes. Her percussion tutor says she's good and saw no reason why she couldn't make it. I heard her play and know she has it memorized and doesn't miss a beat (otherwise I wouldn't even think about this)

It was rumored that there was ...

In English, when ordering from a server in a restaurant or talking with a store clerk we ask, "Do you have something." (sauerkraut, a brown shirt, a toy department, etc) I'm not sure how to say "you" or the equivalent when referring to the establishment.

In German, would one say, "Habt ihr Sauerkraut/Hemd/Spiele?" or would one say, "Haben Sie..." or perhaps neither and one must say, "Hat dieses Restaurant Sauerkraut?" or "Hat diese Geschaeft Hemde?"

Thanks!

I recently moved to a new house with several rose bushes located around the house what have not been cared for. I have had great success in my previous home where I planted my own roses and had a very successful rose garden for several years. I understand pruning and fertilizing starting from the begining, but the roses at my new house have not been cared for for some time. They have some 4-5' high branches with a single rose on the top with sparse leafing, and few other branches. The lowest leafing is around 2' off the ground on sparse branching (with several dead). I've pruned where I can and trimmed the dead wood off, but they are still scraggly. Can I trim these back further and "start over"? I'd like to get healthy branching lower to the ground for a fuller look and more budding, but I'm not sure the best way to go about it and what time of year it should be done.

Please help!

PS - I do plan on extending the garden with more roses of my own, so I'd like these to be as healthy.

Why did you learn it (them) and what language(s)?

Was it a requirement in school?

Spoken at home or with family?

Interest in travel?

Curiosity?

Work?

Other?

Just curious...

When reading cnn.com, washingtonpost.com and especially local news sites, it seems increasingly common that the "news" articles are in video form as opposed to the traditional news article. While the nytimes.com doesn't seem to have succumbed to the ubiquitous use of video (though it still uses some) I can only imagine it's merely a matter of time.

I don't know if it's laziness on the reporter's part who don't want to take the time to write about the news of the day, or whether is is laziness on the reader's part not wanting to take time to read an article. The thing is, there are some headlines that seem genuinely interesting but clicking on it means I have to watch a video. Most of these are amateurish and not nearly as informed as a written article would be. While some people believe a picture is worth a thousand words, a crappy video is worth none; especially when I have to wait for it to load, watch an annoying commercial, and find headphones to listen.

Does this bug you, too?

In school (15+ yrs ago), my teacher (from Chiapas) always stressed that whenever you meet another adult you ALWAYS use "Usted". In fact, we practiced very little with "tu" because she wanted to make sure we didn't slip and make a mistake. However, my job is sending me to Spanish language school and our teacher (from Guatamala) says we should only use "tu". She says few people use Usted anymore and that it's ok to just say "tu" in a business setting.

Which SHOULD be used in a business setting and why would they be of different opinions on this? I thought it might be because they are from different countries but Chiapas and Guatamala are not that far from each other.

We have new neighbors and I'm a little stressed about the situation. Before I talk to them, I would like to get some feedback on whether I should or not.

We both have pools in our back yard and the neighbors regularly have about 10 kids in the pool all day and into the night. They are loud and obnoxious, but no more so than ten 10yr olds would be anytime they get together. On the weekends, it usually starts at noon and goes on into the night. I realize there is nothing we can do about the day time, but would it be unreasonable to ask them to quiet down after 10? The neighbors also have a lot of friends and family over on the weekends with loud noise and talking into the night, which is loud enough that we can hear them clearly in our house. Additionally, at night they turn on these flood lights that are tall enough to come over the fence so when we walk outside we get blinded by the direct light into our faces when we face to one side of the yard.

I know how to make a standard margarita - cuervo, triple sec and lime. However, I've tasted some really yummy margaritas with slightly different recipes or additions to the original ingredients. I'm particularly interested in hearing from bartenders!

What is your VERY, VERY best margarita recipe???

I found it lying by a sidewalk in some grass several years ago. I tried a "found" flyer after I found it but didn't get any *correct* response. I've also tried the alumni association and have also tried to find someone online related to the school in question with the same initials. Unfortunately, that's all I have - initials. I'd be happy to return it to the person to whom it belongs or his family, but have no idea where else to look. I have had no luck with the alumni association, either.

I've had the ring for a couple of years now trying to find the owner. Given that the ring is 50 yrs old and I've tried and can't find the owner, is it ok to have it melted down and made into a ring for myself, or to sell it? It's a heavy man's ring made of gold with a very pretty ruby.

What do you think?