Kate

Moretonhampstead is a backpacker lodge in Dartmoor National Park. I'd like to get to Buckfastleigh to see the Butterfly and Otter Sanctuary. Thanks for any and all information.

I love my husband and we are soulmates, but he has let himself go. I've lost 100+ pounds; he has put on 100+ pounds. Is it ever acceptable to tell a much-loved spouse "no more sex until you lose weight"? Emotionally we are still close, and we communicate well and are physically affectionate. However, I'm also doing a lot of caregiving duties, and he has major health problems, not the least of which is scaly, patchy, scabby legs.

I'd prefer advice from those who are married, divorced, separated, or widowed. Kindly no comments about laziness, body-shame, weight-shame, etc. Trust me, we know all the issues, and other people's ignorance about DNA, genetics, family history, emotions, and nutrition aren't wanted or needed.

I love him, but sex with him just grosses me out and I can't get in the mood at all anymore. It's a total heart-breaker. I want to want him, but just can't get past the appearance. Constructive help is appreciated. Thank you.

So my husband's car was stolen and we need a new car, but we're not desperate. We want to buy now; it's the end of the month and the end of the fiscal year. We went online, looked up edmunds.com, kbb.com and nada.com and got the book value so we knew where to start -- I know to deal up, not down. I've bought two cars before this one, from this same dealership, so I'm not a newbie.

Then we figured in tax/title/license, LoJack, plus dealer commission. The 2004 Toyota Camry we want was priced at $12,995, and we asked $11,600+/-. This was the second time we went to the dealership and they wouldn't budge.

I took the median between clean trade in and retail for my starting point for a starting book price of around $9700, then added in TTL, LoJack, plus commission, so I gave a little bit. They said sorry to waste your time! We walked out again. My husband and I were appalled at our treatment.

For those who are curious, this was Marina Del Rey Toyota, where I bought two vehicles before. We want to pay cash and write them a check. We need a car; they have cars to sell. So what's the problem? I am as of this moment no longer a loyal customer to MDR Toyota in Marina Del Rey in greater Los Angeles.

Anything I'm doing wrong? Anything I'm overlooking? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

My husband is 64 and I am 43. I love him dearly and we are soulmates. We have known each other since the mid-90s, and have been married since 1999.

When we first got together we were both really obese. However, after a heath scare, I started working out and have lost over 100 pounds (and intend to continue). From that time (2003) until now, several other things have happened: he lost both his parents within six months of each other in 2004-2005; he retired and now does nothing; he has ballooned even more in weight and is well over 350 lbs. I also had problems for the last three years with a co-worker who was passive-aggressive and narcissistic, but that has all but resolved since I am working in a different department, and she retires next year. Also, I'm more and more of a physical care giver for my husband and I have to help him with various aspects of hygiene.

My husband eats fast food all the time, sometimes does not leave the house for days, and does no physical activity whatsoever. How do you deal with someone who seems to be killing himself passively, and who is doing the bare minimum to keep body and soul together? He and I are happy; we don't argue or fight, but our physical differences and energy levels are vastly different.

I am going to counseling, and he has agreed to come, too. I phrased it in such a way that "outside influences and stresses" had piled up and we could use a bit of outside perspective. I'm angry and disappointed that he could do so much more with his life, but he just sits around, and it's been two years since he retired.

Any advice? I don't know how to handle it if he simply won't exercise, won't stop eating fast food, and continues to deteriorate at an increasingly fast pace. Any thoughts and observations would be welcome, except those having fat prejudice. Trust me, I don't need or want any condemnation or judgment or intolerance. What I do want is insight, tolerance, and wisdom from people who don't know him or me, and who may have creative ideas.

Thank you.

When I press the button to open the drive, nothing happens. Any advice? Thanks.

I cannot add or delete any aliases! I can edit my main profile, but when I chat, sometimes people can see my profile, other times not. What gives? Does it make a difference that I'm using Firefox? Help! Thanks.

I've been overweight all my life, and over the past several years have changed my diet and I work out three times a week or more, sometimes four or five days a week. I notice a visible difference in my clothes (they fit better) after I work out.

But how long does the fat-burn last? Is it optimal to do a one hour workout once a day? Or could I do two workouts 12 hours apart within 12 hours? I want to maximize the fat-burn without putting undue stress on my muscles. Any and all answers are appreciated. Thanks!

I am aware of mvm.com (my virtual model), weightmirror.com, and modiface.com. Are there any others? Any help is most appreciated. Cheers, Katie

I don't get it, I don't like it, and I never find it funny. And I'd like to know what motivates people to use this non-humor "humor". It just seems mean, pointless, pathetic, childish, and insensitive. What do people get out of it? How do you fight against someone who uses this? Is "yanking your chain" passive-aggressive hostility? It sure seems passive-aggressive to me.

My sense of humor is wordy, absurd, goofy, and kindhearted a la Monty Python, wordplay, puns, etc. So you can see, "yanking your chain" humor falls absolutely flat with me (as does sarcasm). I chat quite a bit in the Yahoo chat rooms, and run into this phenomenon. If someone could give me a good definition, plus a good few pointers about how to deal with people who use this type of "humor" (I use the term loosely since it's just never funny or kind or well-meant), I'd appreciate it. Normally what I do is simply ignore the person who tries to "yank my chain" and they eventually shut up and leave me alone.

And by the way, those who post in a "yanking your chain" style will be deleted and/or given a thumbs down. I want real, valid, sincere responses only, or you can expect to get ignored. Thank you. I appreciate those of you who answer sincerely and on the level.

I have this mad fantasy of taking a backpack with a few supplies, finding a hidey-hole, waiting until the museum closes, then having the art all to myself for just one night. In the morning, I'd change my shirt, wash up, and slip out after the museum is open again. I would have no intention of stealing any art; my intention would be just to savor all the art. If a traveler did this in Europe, would there be legal repercussions, and if so, how bad? I know this is crazy, and there's a 99% chance I wouldn't do it, but if it were possible, any advice would be great. Thank you.

I'm at my wit's end. I never catch my student (hereafter referred to as Annoying Boy) doing anything overtly; he's very sneaky. And he never claims any responsibility for anything. It's always everyone else's fault. This boy seems to want attention, yet seems clueless about how to get positive attention, to the point where all his other classmates are beginning to dislike him, don't want to sit beside him, don't want to interact with him. I don't want to see this kid ostracized or shunned.

And it's petty crap, nothing major, nothing horribly disruptive, but disruptive enough. He can't seem to keep his hands or feet to himself. He takes things without asking, then plays around about giving them back; in the meantime, the other student that he stole from is getting more and more pissed off that they can't work and that Annoying Boy is wasting his own time and theirs, too. He doesn't seem to discriminate between messing around with boys or girls -- he just annoys everyone around him, and people several aisles over, too.

Annoying Boy seems to bump into people, or not move out of the way in time -- and I can't figure out whether he's just slow to react, or playing a bit stupid and trying to annoy people just to get SOME attention, any attention, or a bit of both. Personal space seems to be an issue. There always seems to be tripping and/or bumping going on, as if he doesn't quite know where he ends and everyone else begins. There's nothing sexual in it, just obnoxiousness and/or willful ignorance and disrespect about the personal space rights of others.

What I'd like Annoying Boy to do is, when I correct him, just to admit he's wrong, and just STOP PLAYING AROUND. He's a 7th grader, and interestingly enough, his fraternal twin sister is just the opposite -- quiet, calm, hard-working, successful, in honors, cooperative, well-liked. I'd hate to see him take a darker, less successful path than her just to differentiate himself.

So far what I've done is talked to him many times, separated him from his peers, put him in a "courtesy seat" directly beside my desk, limited him from interacting with peers, encouraged him to ask questions when I'm at my desk, and sent home messages that his behavior is disruptive and inconsiderate. Besides making him write standards, sending him to the counselor, imposing detention on my own time, or some other punishment, I'm at my wit's end.

I like Annoying Boy and he's smart, but he's JUST BEYOND annoying to me and my fifth period class. He simply messes with everyone, claims no responsibility or fault, is constantly aggrieved with other people, claims he's the one who's constantly being picked on, yet all the other students always say, "Miss! Annoying Boy just annoyed me by (fill in the blank, whatever you find most annoying)."

Sigh. Any and all input and or advice or suggestions would be most appreciated. Thanks,

Fed Up with Annoying, Wanna-Be Blameless Boy

I'm wondering if other people have faced this problem. I don't mind having my old scrapbooks in my classroom for fast-finishing students to see. However, I would like to move to digital scrapbooking. Anyone have any recommendations of digital scrapbooking sites? It seems to make more sense to me to make scrapbooks online rather than making physical scrapbooks which take up too much space. Thanks for anyone's input and suggestions.

Mind you, I chat in Yahoo Chat, and in the adult section. I wonder if the men who ask that are trying to assess how easy I am, or something like that. But as an introvert, the question puzzles me. I just don't see how people in their 30s and up can party. Who has the time or energy? And personally, I'd feel a little self-conscious and not a little ridiculous 'partying' with college kids -- been there, done that, didn't particularly care for it the first time! Any advice would be appreciated. Cheers!

I got her in 1991 or 1992, so she is very old. Last year she was diagnosed with a hyperactive thyroid. She was 4 lbs., down half her weight. The vet said we could give her pills for the rest of her life, but we decided not to, since she gets very stressed by being given pills. So we decided just to provide hospice care: make her comfortable, keep her fed, watered, and keep her litter box clean.

Now she seems puffy around her face and swollen. She can only go a few steps and stops, wheezing and panting. She doesn't make it to the litter box all the time, either. Coming up and down stairs, I've noticed a significant limp in her right front and back legs. Her eyes are also oozing a brownish liquid. I was told that this could be heart failure.

We love her, and she's a dear old baby, but we don't want her to suffer. She's also not cleaning herself very well, and she seems so tired. Any thoughts would be most welcome. Thank you.

Cheers, Kate

I recently transferred mid-semester, so this may have much to do with everything. I arrived right after Thanksgiving, so my students had already had 10 weeks or so with a substitute who did not know if he would be there from week to week.

In only four weeks, I've managed to win over my 1st period journalism class and my three classes of seventh grade students. However, there is one class, my eighth grade English class, right after lunch, that is horrible.

The worst in the class are rude, obnoxious, defiant, lazy, uncooperative. They don't turn in assignments. They don't seem to care about grades. Nothing I seem to say or do motivates them. Thank God there is a core group of about 1/3 who are good kids who do their work and who cooperate.

What can I DO? I hate dreading this class every day. I want them to cooperate and do good work. There is a culture of low expectations at this new school that dismays me. Any advice would be most appreciated.

I'm 39, and an introvert. I stopped partying a year after I turned 21. I hated loud music, drunks, and strangers. I had some good times when I turned legal, but the bar scene wasn't my thing.

But I chat online, and men ask me all the time If I "party". Does anyone party after college, and if so, how? What do you do? And more importantly, why? Is there a sexual innuendo here that I'm not picking up on as well, since chat is so literal?

Personally, I don't know anyone who "parties" in their 30s and beyond, certainly not like college kids. Is there any 30something or 40something person out there who DOES like to party? I'd be interested in hearing what's up with this question, and other people's perspectives.

Just sign me, Introvert who loves peace and quiet

My husband's parents died, and when their house was being cleaned out, my husband was sent his old stamp collection, along with the stamp collection of his first girlfriend. This amounts to 3-5 *thick* books filled with postage stamps, mostly American, some foreign.

My husband gave up philately long ago, but we do want to sell the stamps if possible, and get a fair price. Is there anyone out there who could give me some information? I'd like to get a fair price and not be taken advantage of.

Thanks, Kate

I chat online and am a solo female traveler. I am a modern Western woman who is very much a feminist, an individual, a career woman first, a wife secondly, and I am childfree.

I would one day like to visit various Asian countries, but I also know that having chatted with some Filipinos and other Asians, I felt massively misunderstood, and even slightly looked down upon for my choice. Of course this is infuriating.

I hate being asked HOW MANY children do you have, instead of the more logical question, do you have any children? In this day and age of CHOICE, the latter question is by far the more appropriate. I also dislike it when Filipinios and others keep asking why I don't have any or want any -- then insanely suggesting I try to have a baby or adopt! NO!

How do I make people understand that I don't share their outlook, their cultural mores or their values, but I do want respect for my choices, just as I respect their choice about how to live their lives. Thanks, K