welshpinoy

American Corporate management

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready.

The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem....

An American businessman & a Mexican

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?"

The American laughed and said, That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Laugh at the Pregnant Lady

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling

humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and

he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth

move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

The case came before the court, and when asked why he acted in

such a manner, the man replied, "When the lady boarded the bus I

couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an

advertisement which read, 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.'

Then she moved under one that read, 'Sloans Liniments Remove

Swelling.' I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving

advertisement which read, 'William's Stick Did The Trick.' Then

I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move

she sat under an advertisement which read, 'Dunlop Rubber would

have prevented this accident.'" He won the case.

I have this wanker of a boss called Ian G*******, he been fired from his last three jobs cause he is such a bad boss. Only reason he got this job is cause his sis is being screwed by one of the directors. Anyone else in the same situation?

What country or nationality has the most beautiful women. I think Filipinos are the most beautiful, with Indonesians, thai's, Japs, chinese and Latinos close behind

I really do not mean to be racist or anything and I apologise if I offend anyone, but I really need to ask this question.

How many people out there have found that ****** (blacks like Africans, Nigerians, Jamaicans) are very lazy in their work?.

Is there any other nationality you have found to be lazy workers?.

Why are Americans so Naive they don't see whats really going on in the world. Is it that they watch too much television and they have been brain washed by their government. America is just over 200 years old so when are they going to Grow Up.

I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed. Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across Osama bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below:

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Which lens would you use?

I will never bow to America and if America was to try to force its will on me I would fight them with my last breath. How many of you are ashamed that Blair is George Bushes Faithful dog. How many of you think Blair should face trial for treason against his own people.

How many of you British Citizens are ashamed of your Government and what Blair is doing in Iran, Afghanistan and their backing of Israel to murder innocents and how much blood do you think Blair has on his hands.

What do you call someone who speaks three languages?

"Multilingual".

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?

"Bilingual".

What do you call someone who speaks one language?

"An American".

I just attended a performance of Martin Nievera and Pops Fernandez in their reunion tour in London, U.K. Who else believes that Martin should be an International singer not just for Filipinos. I think Martin is one of the best singers in the world and although Pops is not in his class she is good and so beautiful. I was fortunate to be able to talk to them both and I believe that if their marriage had of lasted they would have been good together on stage, though I don't think Pops would be a Disco Queen now. What do you think.