naughtycat

I am the Custodial parent of 4 with an almost 7year old Divorce decree receiving Child Support for the last 2. We share Joint Legal Custody. The 13 yr old boy has Autism and the 15 yr old girl used to cut her self, is on probation for curfew violation, has a problem with authority, and an ax to grind with me because the divorce was obviously more my fault than her father's. We only lived in Georgia for a year and a half of a 14 year marriage and I moved back to Michigan a month after filing due to my ex-husband's return because of physical and emotional abuse and non-support. I had to leave many of our things behind and he threw them away. Mine and the Kids. He was in the military and was advised that after having beat me the last time, that he should receive EXTENSIVE counseling before reuniting with his family from Iraq. That was in 2002, 2003. Since then the divorce became final with him paying very little to support 4 children who were 12-5 at that time. He and his attorney provided for no medical in the order, only 2 or 4 weeks visitation in the summer and the minimum during the year. Verbally though, he refused to have them all at one time! He also included that we would split the cost of transportation even though he left the military immediately but chose to stay in Georgia and his parents live here in Michigan. He also included that for paying $500 a month CS he would get to claim them on his income tax returns FOREVER or INDEFINITELY!! And of course it included that we would have to have the others address. In spite of the physical abuse. However, right after the divorce was finalized he left the military, stopped paying child support which also means the kids medical stopped abruptly, also. He paid for about 3 months after the divorce was finalized. Fast forward to now, He hasn't seen any of his 4 kids since October 25, 2002. He constantly blames me for that when he isn't too scared to speak to me. But every year he claims them on his income tax returns which by federal law is a crime and has caused my husband and I to be audited. But we rightly receive the credit every year anyway! HAD TO GIVE YOU THE BACKGROUND!

The 15 year old was told a few years back by the NCP that she could live with him. At that time I didn't feel like like that was a good idea. She hadn't seen him, he was constantly changing his phone number, he was bitter as hell, and he hadn't exercised one minute of visitation. And if he disconnected his cell phone again I would have no way of knowing what was going on with my baby. But I needn't have worried because although he did lead her on, ultimately he cut off contact after a few weeks when his phone was disconnected. She was upset, but I was able to soothe her and get her through it. The divorce decree states that in order for him to exercise his visitation for the summer, or overnight I would need advance notification of 2 weeks. Last year he had his MOTHER call my house and tell the kids that he would be there in 2 hours if they wanted to come over. I did not allow that. She blames me for this even though, my safety was at issue, items in the divorce decree, and the fact that I will not pay for his visit to his mother's just because he just so happened to have me deliver his children to him per her request. My daughter says she hates me (blah,blah,blah), has violated curfew 2 days after being placed on it and I have WHOLEHEARTEDLY agreed for her to go and live with her father. After she was able to contact him and he told her she could come live with him she was a different child. Now, she has caused child protective services to be called on me and I have 2 younger children aged 2 & 4 year old girls with my REAL husband to think about. The problem is her father is now saying that he isn't gonna take her to other people not her. He won't believe what I say about what's going on with her. She is willing to do what ever it takes so that she can't stay here. He hasn't told her he isn't taking her, only her older sister who she has been staying with the last few days. His excuse is it's going to take too long to change custody through the courts. I think he only cares about the child support. I'm afraid if he doesn't take her she will try and hurt herself again to get his attention. The NCP says he will only believe someone that gives him information that is in a position of "authority". But he won't call them, and they all say that they can't talk to him unless he's involved in treatment and another MAN says that if he's not MAN enough to call about his daughter, how can he be trusted to raise her? I agree, but I'm done! He lives down the street from the court and I"m 1200 miles away. Can't we just sign papers here transfer custody, have it signed by a notary and he can file the papers when he gets back and let him enroll her in school with him? The courts h