Nafees Hayat

hello there! i am a 24 years old guy i have epilipsy almost 22 year old according to my mom i was 2 when i had my first seizure.my paarents started my treatment at the exact same day till now but now i have a problem as i have met and seen videos of epilipsy patients i have noticed one thing and that is when the get the attack they start vitrating(seizures) and are silent on the other hand till near 5-6 years ago i would have silent seizures but now adays as my memory is about nill in all the videos i have made of myself with the help of my bros and parents i just talk while sitting on the same spot while looking frightened and sometimes even trying to dig the bed wood or carpet etc i almost broke one arm and leg og my mom yesterday while talking to her to keep silent i am feeling fear and i don't know why but i feel fear as if someone from my back is gonna stab me in my neck plus i remember one thing back in some time may be it was always in my epilipsy attack my neck would try to turn back like my face would force to turn the back side due to which half of my body would become spring shaped then when seizure would go i would go into deep sleep same as after getting attack nowadays i go to sleep but neither my head turns back nor i have body seizure i just start talking in the same same position i am in and my eyeballs kinda widen now is this epilipsy or something else any help would be appreciated thanks a lot if you need any video tap or help please ask in reply