Therese

I'm a girl, 18 yrs old and going to boarding school. For as long as I can remember, I've been analyzing everything, trying to understand everything, thinking of every possible scenario to a situation etc.

I've always had all kinds of philosophical questions spinning around in my mind, and some of them I find answers to, whilst others I keep on finding new and better answers to, but never get satisfied with it or convinced.

Example:

Why are we here?

Why are we concious?

What's the point of living?

Does God exist or is everything just scietific etc.?

Is this real?

That type of stuff. I know that some of it sounds very spaced out or strange to ask, but as strange as they might be, I still need to find answers.

My question is: Am I thinking too much? Is it possible that we're not supposed to think about everything too much? Do other people do the same as I do? Is it normal to be like this?

I've never had any severe depressions in my past. I've had my downers, but never been heavily depressed. And I'm not depressed, i think, cause I'm not feeling sad or bad about anything in particular, nor do I have any eating disorders or diseases or problems with my selfconcious. But I do have this feeling of being a bit tired, and I rarely want to get up in the morning, for no particular reason, it's not that i feel sad or angry or scared or anything, i just feel tired and want to just keep on sleeping. This probably doesn't sound very unnormal, but the thing is that I have been thinking a lot about how nice it could be to get to die, to finally rest and not have to be tired or anything. The thought of not existing anymore seems so tempting. And again, it's not because I have any painful feelings or anything. So not only am I "tired" of living, but I also can't find any point of life in general, apart from our instinctive need to survive, eat, sleep and reproduce. As humans we want our species to survive. Why? How come we're a species at all? And to survive we have to produce offspring, so that when we die, they live on. Why? Not that I have anything against kids or humans or anything, but if all we do is eat, sleep, have intercourse, get children and die, just so that the species will live on for another generation, then what's the point? What's the purpose? Why do all species have a need to survive? Everything is going to die out eventually, so I just can't understand why we live and exist simply to survive for as long as we can....

The only reason that we fall in love and it makes us happy is because falling in love with someone is a step towards the survival of the species. So all our feelings and things are really just genetical programming that helps pushing us towards what we need to do to survive.

See? I think too much! (And this particular subject was just one in a biiig heap of subjects..)

Got any ideas?

Im a 17 yr old girl and after the summer I want to do some voulenteer work abroad. Maximum time would be one year. No experience whatsoever, but im eager to learn and hard working. Does anyone know what i should do/ who i should contact? I'd prefer something in the lines of archaeology or animal welfare, but im open to suggestions. Please help!!:D