ooorah

A foo walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve your kind here."

The foo says, "What if I'm looking to convert?"

The bartender gets a nasty look on his face, and responds, "Well... for you, I'll make an exception."

- - - - - -

Any one else have any programming jokes?

The last few I have written.

Riddle 1:

Innumerable soldiers with swords drawn.

Array themselves across the lawn.

All are cut down by a longer blade.

Undaunted, the army returns to fill the glade.

Riddle 2:

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

But your trash gives me the greatest pleasure.

Despite my dirty hobby, I'm clad all in white.

I'm a bit flighty, and I cry out in delight.

(There's a bonus answer in that one for fans of a particular anime.)

Riddle 3:

A house made for a lonely man.

A beach-front resort, right on the sand.

It has but one door, and very thin walls.

The crash of waves echo through its ever-narrowing halls.

These may be a little easy, but I enjoyed writing them.

Riddle 1:

I have a warm heart; people like me, you know.

They feed me a lot, and when I eat, I grow.

Don't touch me though, or I'll give you a bite.

Treat me well, and I'll dance through the night.

Riddle 2:

I'll support you in all that you do.

I'll grow the food needed to feed you.

I'll take your dead; they taste just fine.

But the treasures I hold, they are mine!

Riddle 3:

Everyone needs me, I help them all.

I play with kids in the bath, and fill up their ball.

I'll splash you in the ocean, and ruffle your hair.

But everyone always looks through me, like I'm not even there.

Wrote these myself.

Riddle 1:

An old warrior in leather armor,

Eats naught but greens, though never a farmer.

Has one arm, yet wields two blades,

Crosses desert, prairie, and glade.

A giant amongst men, with a loud war cry,

Everyone trembles as he strides by.

Riddle 2:

What is wet, but never flows,

Always sparkles, never glows,

Fresh as dew or old as bone,

Light as a feather or heavy as stone?

Riddle 3:

What can you spread, though not with a knife,

Can be made into a cloak, to cover you for life,

Can be spun into a web, that melts in the light,

Can be as white as snow, or as black as night?

I was under the impression that "self-insert" (similar to "Mary Sue") was a term used to describe a character in a story that appears be nothing more than wish-fulfillment for the author. I didn't really think that anyone else liked reading those stories, as they tend to be unrealistic, boring, and filled with clichés. Why then would anyone advertise that their story is a self-insert in the summary.

Personally, I prefer that they do so that I can skip over the story immediately. Are there people who specifically enjoy reading other people's self-inserts? If so, why?

Is there a subcategory of self-inserts where they realistically fit into the story and don't result in pure wish-fulfillment? If so, is that any different than a standard original character?

This may seem like a dumb question, but if you had a sealed room filled with air, why doesn't the oxygen settle to the bottom of the room, and nitrogen float to the top? I know that oxygen is slightly heavier than nitrogen, and that oxygen has a higher density than nitrogen at STP.

I believe I saw some site that said that there's no major intermolecular forces between the gases in air, so I don't believe it to be a "solution"-like reason, as is the case with salt in water. I've seen a few sites saying that air does not separate and will remain a homogenous mixture, but nothing giving the why. Can anyone clue me in?

Or maybe an update for windows media player or quicktime that will play ogm and mkv. Thanks.

I know that Windows 95 came with some sort of thing built in that could be used through telnet. Does Vista have anything like that?

I'm on a LAN network and every time I try to "view workgroup computers" from my network places it gives me the error:

Tengr is not accessible. You might not have permission to use this network resource. Contact the administrator of this server to find out if you have access permissions.

The account is not authorized to log in from this station.

I can access this computer from other computers in the workgroup, but not vice-versa. Any help would be appreciated.

I believe there are seven elements that are unable to be alone, like oxygen always is O2 or hydrogen is always H2. What are the others?