irishlazylizzy

Below is a warning I hope you take to heart.

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys

removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is

happening with other body parts as well! My thighs were stolen from me

during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone

else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of

cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent

the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I

resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck

again. My *** was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took

pains to match my new rear end to the thighs. They had stuck me with

earlier. But my new *** was attached at least three inches lower than my

original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was

fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms swing to

and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary -

my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me

next? When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a

turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and

smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body

parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something

'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN

YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed

and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that

they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden

in my waistband.

The paramedics came into the house to find a woman on the floor in the last stages of labor. Over her was her 3 year old daughter Emily, obvious worry on her face. The paramedic in an effort to ease Emily's worry asked her to please hold a light up so that he would be able to see better and help her Mommy. Emily took her job seriously and held the light still and high.

Moments later the baby was born and the paramedic grabbed the new baby boy by the feet and held him upside down and gave him a little smack on his bottom. The baby cried.

The paramedic looked over at Emily, she was wide eyed. He asked her what she thought of what she had just seen. Emily replied,

"He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place, I think you should give him another smack!!