?

this is universal for all of the restaurants in my area, not just one or two.

I apologize if anyone is offended by the term, but I thought it would be alright as it is applied to myself. I'm straight (never been bi-curious), but that being said, I have an enormous amount of respect for the s&*t that the GLBT community gets put through, especially these days.

I'm 25, and over the last few years, I've been having random gay guys coming out to me. I mean, out-of-nowhere random. It seems as though as soon as one moves to a different state, another one comes looking for support or advice, and I can't seem to get two at the same time. I try to understand and commiserate, but I feel like I'm never going to "get it," and that being straight makes me inadequate to offer advice. The most recent kid is 19. He came out to me before I knew his first name, asking me via text message if liking "b.s." and "b.j.s" made him gay. I told him it wasn't necessary to label himself, whether his inclination is gay or bi, and that the label doesn't matter, his preference does. This kid is painfully shy, and I want to help him find a supportive and understanding group of people that aren't going to beat the s%^t outta him. I love going to gay bars and would be more than happy to take him, but he's underage.

So many guys have said the same things; they're alone, they're afraid to trust anyone, they don't know how to meet other guys. I'm a straight girl. What advice could I ever offer that would be sincerely helpful? I've honestly been making stuff up as I go along and just being supportive. Am I a fraud? How do I find a safe gay community in NJ and lead the strays there?

I'm looking for something that combines the two, not just one or the other.