Renee

I just transferred to a university and am having a really rough time. There is so much more homework and the expectations are so much different. I'm doing ok in my classes but not as well as I hoped. I feel like I got off to a rough start and it's kinda hard to do much about it now. How do I time manage with classes, homework, study groups, work, free time, commuting, working out, and taking care of myself and chores? It's hard when you've got used to doing things a certain way for two years and then suddenly you have to do something completely different while trying to figure it all out on your own. Please be nice. Thanks.

My family is meeting up with my aunt and cousins to do some shopping at this holiday craft fair today. They really want me to come but I've got several papers due next week and I haven't had much of a chance to get started yet. I feel like I should stay home but it would be really nice to get out of the house for awhile. What to follow?

I'm thinking I'm either gluten intolerant or gluten sensitive so before I get tested for sure I'm trying not to eat gluten for a few weeks. I'm having a hard time thinking of things to make for lunches to take with me. Any ideas? What's your go to? I'm not an expert in the kitchen so nothing too long and complicated!

I was really good friends with this girl when I was little. I moved away for a few years when I was 7 and ever since I moved back she's been trying to start our friendship up again where it left off. She's been trying especially hard these last few years. I'm 20 now. Im not the same person I was when I was little. I feel like I've grown apart. She doesn't think so. She keeps trying to get together with me for lunch, or I could come over to her house for dinner and we can catch up, or we could have a girl day and do shopping and stuff. Shes a nice person but I'm starting to dread her texts because she's looking forward so much to hanging out again with me like we used to. I don't know how to handle this. I don't feel we could become the friends we once were again.

I just bought a laptop that came with a month long trial of Norton. That trial is over now. The laptop came with year's worth of a different Internet security in a disk form. I briefly mentioned this to someone who knows computers about that I couldn't get the new program to install. We didn't have time to really talk, but he mentioned having to uninstall Norton first. I looked under the programs list and found two Norton programs. One was the security and the other was anti theft. Do I need to uninstall both or one or none?

I asked one of my past teachers from a college I recently graduated from to write a few lettersof recommendation. How should I say thank you? I feel an email isn't enough so I thought I'd sent her a card. I would normally bake some cookies but that won't work this time around due to circumstances. Is a card enough? I thought about putting in a Starbucks gift card in but I don't know if she likes Starbucks and it seems like I'd be paying her. She said that she was more than glad to write those letter . Input?

Ok...im a pretty easy going calm person who isn't scared of things. Except for one thing. Balloons. Don't judge we've all got something we hate more than anything. For me its the anxiety of just waiting for the balloon to pop. Anyways I've hated balloons for many years now. My family doesn't seem to care about how scared I am of balloons. I don't care if they're attached to a car, but the minute they're brought inside I'm on edge and it gets worse. My sister is having a party on Friday and she's insisting on balloons. I brought this up with my mom who promptly tried making me feel guilty about interfering with my sister's plans and how much she wants balloons. Its a sleepover with two other girls. What about me?! I'm scared to death of balloons. I have to put up with so many balloons at this house. Balloons for every holiday and birthday and for whatever reason. I start to dread those occasions since I know balloons will be there even though my family knows I hate them. They even insist on bowing up balloons for my birthday!

A little consideration would be nice. We keep the cats outside because moms allergic, we kill the spiders because my sister's scared to death of those, and we keep the house really clean for my dad. None of these can be helped just like my fear of balloons.

I'm not trying to sound like this is all about me, because I'm more than willing to compromise. I just think that my dislikes should be taken seriously and into consideration.

My mom likes to do things last minute or at least let me know about them last minute. A few minutes before she leaves for work she'll ask me to do several jobs around the house (this isn't always just an example) and they're not short jobs. I leave just a couple minutes after she does. Long story short she always waits until last minute (even when she would have known earlier) to give me a bunch of jobs and as a result I don't have time to do them. If she let me know earlier I could have planned accordingly and got a few jobs done anyways. I tell her I don't have time and she gets mad.

Another example, she comes up with family day trips the day of. I schedule my time because I'm very busy with college and work and other stuff. She doesn't understand that I can't just drop what I'm doing or reschedule study with friends plans at the drop of a hat. The more time she gives me the higher a chance I can come and am able to reschedule previous plans. I often end up telling her I cant come and she gets mad like I'm just making an excuse not to come because I don't want to (same type of reaction to other instances). I want to come on day trips and help around the house (especially since they let me stay there without rent while I finish college), but I have my own life and plans. She doesn't seem to understand or want to understand this. Any ideas? (don't suggest moving out...will do that asap...but in the mean time this is an issue).

Normally I would always call to cancel an appointment if I can't make it but this particular instance I'm not sure about. I made an appointment to get my computer fixed and now I'm not sure if I can make it. I'm thinking it would be better to come in at a different time and day. Their website said to call and make an appointment and I did. The guy on the phone was super awkward. I asked if I could make an appointment and he said what time. I told him and then he hung up. Never asked for my name. So I'm wondering how formal an appointment this is or if they just wonder how many people might come in that day. Do I need to call to cancel?

I'm an adult living at home for a little bit longer while I finish college. My mom and I get along great except for on the topic of my hair. I have a haircut that is in between a buzz and a pixie. I really like it and I get compliments on it all the time. My mom absolutely hates it and takes every opportunity to let me know. She will go on and on about how she liked it when it was longer and how much she hates it short. She will bring this up several times a week and sometimes several times a day. It is REALLY grating on my nerves. She is entitled to her own opinion and I've asked her to stop what she's doing. But she acts completely oblivious and like she has every right in the world to voice her opinion. There is a difference between voicing your opinion once or twice and constantly bring it up like that. I find this rather cruel of her. She also ignores me right after I get it cut. This is my hair and as an adult who almost has her bachelors degree I will do what I want with it. There is nothing wrong with that cut, it's just shorter than she would like (she thinks all girls should have long hair or at worst case scenario a long pixie). She keeps saying I can do what I want with my hair but then goes on and ON about how much she hates it. It's cute.

HELP?!

I'm an adult and every year like clockwork I find myself invited to several Halloween parties. It sounds like good, clean fun until the person that invites me mentions that there will most likely be horror films played sometime that evening. Halloween and horror films go hand in hand it seems. I would love to go but I don't watch horror films. Not because I'm still listening to my parents on what I can and can't watch, but because I've made the decision myself to not watch them. I've seen a few before and I don't understand why anybody would want to watch them. I don't like being scared in that way and I don't find the films cool to watch. I realize that many people do like to watch them and perhaps get adrenaline from watching them and I respect that personal choice. But people don't seem to realize or respect that not everyone likes that genre. I could watch an 'R' rated action film and be fine but I don't enjoy horror.

How do I handle these invites? Most often than not no one knows when the movie will be played so I can't bow out at a certain time under the pretense of not wanting to drive home in the dark. I usually try to get around it by saying that I might have to work then but that is a really pathetic excuse. I don't know if I can tell them the truth without sounding like I'm a kid who's afraid of horror films. I just brushed around an invite from my cousin but I need to get back to her.

My family was invited to a wedding. We're friends of the groom's family. Its more my parents are good friends of the family. I know them of course and they'll notice if I don't show up. I used to play with the groom as a kid but haven't spoken to him in over ten years. I don't know the lady he's marrying (I didn't even know he was dating). I don't like weddings. They are boring and a bit pointless. Something really always embarrassing happens to me too. Needless to say I'm not enthused about the upcoming wedding. I feel like I don't really want to go,but my mom says I should go to be supportive and since the rest of the family is going I should to. I don't know what I should do.

This is a theoretical question. A lot of sources online say that if something is not a need then you should not buy it. "Need" is a loose term. Where does the line between needs and wants exist? Obviously food and water are needs but no one really wants to exist on only food and water. The purchased item may replace a previous item, bring color to a room and therefore encourage happiness, ect. How do you draw that line between needs and wants?

What should one do when confronted with the issue of maybe saying "yes" to a want instead of always saying "no". The item would have a purpose (not an impulse buy). They're not sure if they should buy that item or not. They don't need it but they would use it. They were not planning to buy it yet (planning on pulling some money out each month and saving) but are confronted with a now or never situation. It's expensive but if they don't buy it now it will become 3x as expensive because the manufacturer stopped making it (if they can find any at all). The item was not factored into their budget and while they do have the money it would mean they would not be able to save as much money for other experiences down the road.

(Sorry about vagueness. Wanted question to be both specific and theoretical because situations like these occur all the time. Also the last time I asked this question and was specific it got put in an odd category).

I was planning a two day (one night) trip to a nearby city just to relax and go school clothes shopping before school starts. I have had a really bad summer (everything that could have gone wrong went wrong) and I was looking forward to a good sized break. Last night I started to second guess myself and panic a little bit (I'm a bit of a homebody especially when I'm tired). I feel like I raised a good point and now I'm doubting whether I should keep this trip as being two days or shorten it to one day. By shortening the trip I would save the $250 hotel cost (which is expensive but considering it was a decent hotel in a good location that price was not bad) and save on food and transportation also.

While I do have the money for the trip, I'm not sure how long I will be keeping my job for. It's a seasonal position and I'm not sure if I will be staying on or not. I do have a second job but I don't get very many hours. I have other things to pay for this summer like school clothes, personal items, saving for school tuition for winter and spring quarters, and I was wanting to save money for going on a few big trips.

Some of the arguments for going are I could use the time to relax, the hotel room has a really cool view of the city (very important to me), and I was wanting to work towards becoming more self reliant/independent (especially before one of the larger trips I had planned).

I could do everything in one day, but it would be rushed. Should I do one day or two?

I'm an adult living at home for a few more years to save money while I'm going to college. My parents seem to want to pay for part of everything sometimes or pay me back. If there is a way that they can consider part of what I'm buying as theirs then they want to pay me for that half. For example, I'm going to buy a discover pass (a pass that let's me visit the state parks in my area for an unlimited number of times for a year) and my parents are really pushing to pay for half so that they can use it too. While this issue (and issues like it) aren't that big of a deal, they are starting to drive me nuts. I'm at the age where I want to pay for my own things because it will mean more and no one will be able to have a say on how and when i use it. I had planned on letting them use it sometimes anyways but I kinda wanted the pass to be mine. But on the other side, if they payed for half I would be able to put that money towards something else. I'm the traditional broke college student who puts the majority of their money towards college and saving. Not quite sure how to handle these types of situations, they keep popping up.

My sister won't take a shower. My mom won't tell her to take a shower. My sister won't do anything unless she is explicitly told to do it. My sister smells absolutely horrible right now. I had to drive her down to the local grocery store last night and at the end of the five minute drive the whole car smelled bad. Today I could smell her coming from the other side of the house. I've tried approaching my sister about it (she won't do anything unless mom gives her a direct order and she is honestly old enough to realize that she needs to shower on a regular basis without being told every time). My parents work full time jobs and don't always have the time to sit down and give a specific list to my sister of everything she needs to do that day. They shouldn't have to either. Somethings should go without saying. I've tried bringing this up to my mom but she thinks I'm being exceedingly rude and cruel by bringing it up. She gets very irritated whenever I bring this up and refuses to do anything about it. I would take matters into my own hands but I don't have the time to be one step behind my sister making sure she's doing everything she should and I'm not the parent. My sister doesn't care about herself what so ever. While she's only 11 she should know that no one has the time to treat her like she's 2. Help?

I've really started getting into some of the 80s music that I've been hearing on the radio. My favorites (that I know the titles to anyways) are "Footloose" and "danger zone" by Kenny loggins and "1999" by prince. Can anyone suggest any other songs that have that upbeat feel to them? Nothing strange please. Thank you!