Amb_writes (is writing again)

I already posted this question in relationships but I trust the opinions of my friends here on B&A quite dearly and I would love some advice. Thank you

I met Richard a few months back. He used to go to my school before I moved here but dropped out a year before graduation. I met him over facebook and thru friends. He lives a few miles away in town. We started off as friends then he convinced me to dump my boyfriend I was with ( who had cheated on me) and try to find a better relationship. Well I found one.. with him.. or so I thought.

He started off nice. Not pushy at all. A little paranoid though. He would text constantly and if I didn't reply right away he'd accuse me of cheating or lying or not wanting to talk to him. Even when I was on vacation visiting with friends and family back home a state away. He told me if he ever saw me with another guy he wouldnt give me another chance. Said he'd been cheated on before and wasn't up for it again. I told him he needed to back off some, i wouldnt hurt him and he apologized.

A week later I came back and we hung out. A lot. I'd sneak out of the house at night to see him and everything. He got me into smoking weed a few times tho I had done it before him once or twice. things went a little too far too soon and we did some stuff past kissing.

ever since then he's been worse. he isnt so sweet anymore. hardly texts me. when we hang out his friends are almost always with us. He switces from practically ignoring me, to getting mad if I get too close cuz im embarrassing him, to trying to shove his hands down my shirt in public.

Sometimes he pinches or bites me on the arm really hard. I have marks from it.

He sends me texts saying I have to give him head or he will cheat. That we have to have sex cuz if I take too long he's gone. I confront him and he gets pissed. He told me I'm not allowed to wear skirts or shorts to school cuz guys will look at me.

At school i heard he's been with a lot of girls (he admitted that ) and I talked to one of his x's who say he raped her a few yrs back (he denies that) and they tell me similar stories of his behaviour.

He told me in the beginning that I was different. I honestly am his first legit girlfriend who he puts on facebook and takes to school functions and prom. so i have to mean something right?

What scared me most was yday - I told him im scared of heights. so what does he do? he drives to the top of some random parking garage, carries me to the edge and holds me out over the edge above traffic some forty feet up and pretends like hes going to slip or drop me. scared the crap out of me. says he just wanted me to trust him.

idk whats going on. but each time i confront him i end up confused and thinking everythings ok im just over thinking it.

help?

2 seconds

I met Richard a few months back. He used to go to my school before I moved here but dropped out a year before graduation. I met him over facebook and thru friends. He lives a few miles away in town. We started off as friends then he convinced me to dump my boyfriend I was with ( who had cheated on me) and try to find a better relationship. Well I found one.. with him.. or so I thought.

He started off nice. Not pushy at all. A little paranoid though. He would text constantly and if I didn't reply right away he'd accuse me of cheating or lying or not wanting to talk to him. Even when I was on vacation visiting with friends and family back home a state away. He told me if he ever saw me with another guy he wouldnt give me another chance. Said he'd been cheated on before and wasn't up for it again. I told him he needed to back off some, i wouldnt hurt him and he apologized.

A week later I came back and we hung out. A lot. I'd sneak out of the house at night to see him and everything. He got me into smoking weed a few times tho I had done it before him once or twice. things went a little too far too soon and we did some stuff past kissing.

ever since then he's been worse. he isnt so sweet anymore. hardly texts me. when we hang out his friends are almost always with us. He switces from practically ignoring me, to getting mad if I get too close cuz im embarrassing him, to trying to shove his hands down my shirt in public.

Sometimes he pinches or bites me on the arm really hard. I have marks from it.

He sends me texts saying I have to give him head or he will cheat. That we have to have sex cuz if I take too long he's gone. I confront him and he gets pissed. He told me I'm not allowed to wear skirts or shorts to school cuz guys will look at me.

At school i heard he's been with a lot of girls (he admitted that ) and I talked to one of his x's who say he raped her a few yrs back (he denies that) and they tell me similar stories of his behaviour.

He told me in the beginning that I was different. I honestly am his first legit girlfriend who he puts on facebook and takes to school functions and prom. so i have to mean something right?

What scared me most was yday - I told him im scared of heights. so what does he do? he drives to the top of some random parking garage, carries me to the edge and holds me out over the edge above traffic some forty feet up and pretends like hes going to slip or drop me. scared the crap out of me. says he just wanted me to trust him.

idk whats going on. but each time i confront him i end up confused and thinking everythings ok im just over thinking it.

help?

Details:

I got arrested a few weeks back for a minor felony. (drinking under age on school grounds)

I'm going to court to close the case before I become an adult. I am also planning on asking for help because I have grown addicted to drugs and alcohol and other things.

I'll be 18 as of tomorrow.

Any advice for a newcomer in court? How to dress? Act? What to expect? What to say? etc?

I know there are millions of books in the world but we are somewhat limited when it comes to local libraries and book stores.. then again technology is advancing to where we can read online or on our phones.. anywho - my point:

I tend to read novels about abuse (mental, physical, drug abuse, etc) and I'm poor so I rely on my school and local library. I've come to the point where I can't find anything else under those categories. I even have my name on waiting lists for new books. I try to read other things and sometimes it works out, but for the most part - im out of good books for the time being.

Anyone else experience this or anything similar?

Think it will ever happen to you?

It does for me. The idea that I will never be able to read every book out there depresses me. I'm a very curious person by nature. I love learning new things on my own. I love hearing peoples stories - seeing someone's past turn into an infinite thing on paper. How much will we leave this Earth missing out on?

Not only in books.. but what about all the ideas you have? Will you ever get to write them all down?

I don't want to miss out on going into space, travelling to every country. The list goes on. I'm just curious to if anyone else has ever thought this way or feels the same?

BQ: What book have you been meaning to read but just never seem to get around to?

For me, it was when I spent three whole months revising my first four chapters to the first book I had ever started writing. I brought it to my dad, all excited thinking I had perfect writing (like all new writers believe) and he set it aside and simply said, "it's okay." I know it's not the crazy mean response you were expected, but it's how little he said and the casual toss aside that stabbed my creative spirit in the heart.

What about you? What did they say or how did they react? How did it affect you? Did you use it for motivation or did it discourage you?

Also, what is the harshest critique you can remember giving someone else?

Just felt like bringing back an old popular question of mine, now that we have some new users to answer.

So why write?

Just curious. because that's happened a lot to me.

Also,

have you ever read about a certain band, song, movie, artwork - and looked it up or went and found it? Did you think it was a waste of time or worth being put in the novel?

I'm reading - Hocus Pocus by Kurt Vonnegut and Trap by Tabitha King

you??

N.O.W. - night of write - we havent had one in a loonnggg time. if you don't know what it is, just ask and il explain more in depth. its basically just a night to stay up and write. everyone involved is online to help you out and support/encourage you. Comment or star to join!

What is this? Our 10 or 11 N.O.W.? Its been months :(

be on here/facebook/the website tonight - hope to see you here!!

~Amb~

I haven't been on B&A in months due to many a reason but mostly because I have not been writing - AT ALL. At first I just thought this was the usual writers block. But this has lasted for over half a year now. I really need some help.

So far on my own I have figured out that I need to write a memoir before I can finish any other novel and go on to try and get published. I have a lot of painful memories and inner feelings to get out and I think it's what has been holding me back from finishing my other works. The problem is, I'm scared. There I admitted it. I am absolutely TERRIFIED of starting on it. Why? Because each memory has been tucked away in the back of my brain and covered up so I could fake happy for all these years. All the abuse, the childhood fears, the nightmares, the loss... I am scared to death to let it back out again. The only time I can usually write is at night. and im all alone. I'm afraid to let these memories engulf me. I finally got out of depression, I don't want to go back.

Does anyone else have this much trouble? Like, this is how it goes when I try to write..

1.) Open word document.

2.) Stare at blank page for 5 minutes.

3.) Open solitare and play.

4.) Check Facebook.

5.) Click back on Word and stare.

6.) Type a few words and then delete them.

7.) Spend 10 minutes picking out the font I feel like using.

8.) Type up a sh*tty paragraph and then close out without saving.

9.) Turn off computer.

10.) Give up hope.

any help?

Okay soo.. I've reached a cross roads and I'm completely stuck.

I'm sure most of you have heard me complain about Vince on here before so I won't go into much detail. Basically:

Vince - boyfriend for over two years - my first serious boyfriend- we were in love and still love each other- broke up a month ago over differences and distance - we've been in a long distance relationship since I moved four hours away..

We have been broken up for over a month now. I dated. Kind of became a slut :/ In the past month I've made out with like seven different guys. In one weekend I went on 3 different dates. I've hurt people and myself. I have 10 guys that like me, one including a creepy 26 yr old guy I met at a party while I was drunk. Nice isnt it. Well.. details on the other guys..

Garrett - met him through a friend. Very dorky kid. I'm not very attracted to him by looks but he's super sweet. Most romantic guy ever. He cares for me soo much and is doing everything he can to get me to stay with him. I've been on maybe 6 dates with him??

James - very good looking. Great body (he's a marine) and he's very attractive but he can be kind of pushy and in half a year he will be leaving for training for 6 months. But he says he really likes me.

Jake - best friend here. He used to like me, says he doesnt anymore, I don't believe him. He wants me to give him kissing lessons and be friends with benefits and crap and well.. i ignore that side of him lol.

Basically... Vince has finally decided he wants me back. Says hes ready. Wants no one but me. He is planning on asking me back out next time he sees me in person (around christmas) so I have a month to decide if our relationship is worth fixing or possible to fix. Or if I should give Garret or James or anyone else a chance.

I do still really love Vince. Others make me happy but I just cant see committment with them. I love vince. I want things to work. But I'm scared. I'm so lazy and make too many mistakes. Vince is very serious. I want romance and risks. He wants security.

What do you guys think I should do?

I know this question belongs in the relationship section but to be honest, I trust your guys' opinions more :)

Okay.. so if you have the patience to read this you are very kind. I'm going through a lot right now and I just want to know if I'm working this out on my own good or not.

To summarize past events;

I have been with Vince V. for two years (we met on a blind date Oct 24 08) and we have been in love for over a year now. He's always had a slight anger/controlling problem but never anything serious. Whenever we fought ( not too often but we argued a bit) it would be because I made some stupid choice and he was angry at me for it.

By his two problems I mean - Vince is a very serious guy. Does his homework, saves all his money, thinks everything out before it happens. Sometimes that would get on my nerves. If I tried to make my own choice, he would voice his opinion almost like a demand. We would get in fights over that. He can blow up easily, though he's never hurt me or cussed at me up til this past weekend.

A month ago, me and vince fulled around and theres now a chance I may be pregnant.. Ever since I told him that (a few weeks ago) he has seemed different. More distant. Says he's scared. I can understand. But he never asked how I was feeling. Almost seemed to blame me for it. We fought over that.

Then over the weekend I asked him what he would do if I was for sure preg? He said a bunch of crap about nothing and I asked - so you wouldn't rush to my side to be there for me? and he said - well ya but I'd wait til I got off work and then I'd make sure my homework was done and ask my parents and blah blah. (In my head I was thinking - your 19..) I simply said - thats not the answer I was hoping for.. and he blew up. He cussed 9 times in 1 text. It basically went

- What the **** do you ****** want me to ****** say? Quit **** asking me **** stupid questions! What the ***** amber? - and so on.

Then he said crap about how we were never meant to be. And how hes young and in college meeting new ppl. And I cause him stress. And he's partially with me cuz its safe.

That night I realized that I deserve better.. that whats missing in our relationship is that he doesn't seem to put me first. Won't take risks or be romantic. And he should never cuss like that to me. I broke up with him. He never tried to argue other than to say he didnt cuss at* me, just cussed cuz he was fustrated.

But he never fought to get me back. He just let me go. And he hardly texts or calls. He says he's enjoying being single so far cuz its so less stressful.

But now I want him back. I'm thinking of all the good things and memories we have. The surprise bday cake he made me. Our vacation on mackinac island..

I gave him my heart, soul, mind, body.. we were each others first kiss, everything. 2 yrs with him. I LOVE him.

But is it time to move on?

When you have a lot going on, is it better for you to write out those problems and work through them. Or use them to inspire you?

or do you take a break from your work?

For 3 weeks now I've been having this weird brown snot like crap coming out of me and with it a little reddish brown liquid. Sometimes it burns or stings in my stomach a little. My moods have been all over the place. I missed my period. I had sex for the first time (twice) over a month ago. My period should have been 4 days ago.We used a condom the second time but the first he pulled out. I know about precum but he thinks we are fine. I took a test last night but it came up Not Pregnant. I'm still having that weird bleeding and my stomach hurts. What do you think?

I'm bored so I figured I'd make up some kind of game or fun challenge for you guys. So here it is:

Pick characters from any fictional novel to put in the following roles as your:

a.) boyfriend

b.) father

c.) mother

d.) sister

e.) brother

f.) best friend

g.) grandpa

h.) grandma

i.) next door neighbor you go to for advice

j.) crazy uncle that comes to visit

k.) pet

and pick a place you'd wish to live? (give the fictional world and/or the exact area of that world)

My challenge for you is to write a story using only 10 or less sentences. I would prefer it to be funny. I need a good laugh :P Best Answer goes to best story.

I'm mostly directing this at my friends back in the B&A section. How well do you know your contacts??

Pick 5 people off your contacts list and attempt to answer these questions about them. If you see your name mentioned and the person who answered them gets any right, give em a thumbs up!

Questions:

-Their fav. color?

-What they want to be (career wise)?

-Top Hobby?

-First name?

-own any pets?

-Favorite book?

-Favorite Movie?

BQ: What do you find most interesting about each of those 5 contacts?

Like when you get too old, or something happens like you break your arm, get severe arthritis, etc.

Will you try to find another way to keep coming up with ideas and telling stories? What would you do?

Or would you just give up?

What's your guess at the age you will stop writing either by force of nature or choice?

BQ: Do you prefer a mechanical pencil or the traditional #2 when writing by hand?

I've always loved fashion since I was a little girl though I never really thought much of modeling. I used to make my own purses and clothing. I love fixing up my hair and make up. I love taking creative pictures. But I never thought of modeling because I'm too small.

Ive been watching the show for years now and I want to see if I could actually make it. I'm only 5'5'' and 110 lbs but maybe if they do anymore petite auditions I could make it?

What website should I look on for information? What are my chances?