kttphoenix

Some of you may have seen the myriad answers I've posted. I don't want to appear to eb anything other than what I am, so other than hoping to get some perspective, I will share one of the few issues I have with my wife.

Beign an ex-net porn addict, I looked into many resources, including counseling, ministry and reading to understand and conquer my addiction, which I have managed to for almost a decade now. That research however, gave me insight into how women percieve love, romance, exitement and sex as well.

Which brings me to realizing that romance novels take away the journey related butterfly in the stomach feeling that women seek from a relationship, pornography takes away the destiantion focus that men look for. Not to say that the other doesn't look for the opposite, but one focuses on the other, and with both in play, why even bother committing to anyone.

The kicker is that while pornography is generally reviled, while romance novels either get a pass or are considered ok. I do have a personal stake in this in that my wife reads them. Primarily Norah Roberts, who is reputed to not be as trashy as most, but after watching parts of her movie on Lifetime the other week, I'm not so sure. Most of them also seem to support placing women on pedestals and teaching them that they have no role in real romance other that being lacadasical audiences.

Other than my primary question, I suppose I have to ask if men can't use pornography to counter romance novels what do we have? And yes, if you're going to intentionally engage in that boundary crossing, we need something that crosses a boundary on you too.

I see this over and over here, and wonder what the difference is? He's still drooling over fake women and not you.

Isn't it still the same horrible portrayal of women. not to mention even worse treatment of young women and young men now. Not to mention 99.99% of it is faker than TWA wrestling.

Personallyy, I don't approve of it, especially being an ex-addict, clean for 9 years. I won't try to tell anyone how to live their life, but knowing the victimization that goes into this industry and how stupid they really are, is it worth the risk that your not the 1% of the population that won't become obsessed with it?

Just throwing this one out here. I think it's a bit over he top. While the vid goes with the song line for line, it's one of those example things. You never know who;s watching. Not defending cheating by any means, but you can rarely prove cheating and you can just about always prove car vandalism. Not taking it to seriously, as it's just a song. Interestingly enough, it looks liek a few guys wrote it, albeit specifically for Carrie.

What is the woman's responsibility with regards to romance / intimacy? It seems society, particularly western culture, shifts more and more responsiblity to men, setting them up to be gunned dowm most of the time. I don't mean just sex here people, I'm talking about actual emotional connections and clear, loving communication.

When they could just keep up and maintain there marriage which in turn would ensure that the children would be well cared for? Vice versa doesn't usually work people.