Jay

i have been a student of life in all it's splendors and achievements and losses across every nation and island possible and have dug into the mortal conundrums that plagued the mighty of mind and the weak of will, but across all the information that i have amassed i have yet to meet or speak with someone who is of sound mind and earthly logic that can tell me anything that i don't already know about life and how to increase the quality of the life of myself and others. is there anyone out there that has a working understand and/or sound theory of life, death, love, humanity, etc? if you feel you have a theory and/or an idea of anything that i've mentioned above, please let me know. i look forward to communicating more with the right type of people. so that we may dig for a deeper meaning and an increased quality of life for our fellow man, woman and child. thank you for your time.

i grew up a little poor white kid from the trailor park with a loving mother that died from breast cancer when i was young and a father who was physically and mentally abusive, and he worshiped money. now that i'm a married thirty something man with a wife (happily married) i just feel like i'm missing a crucial part of myself by holding a job that does not appreciate me or anything i do. i make a very meager wage with mild responsibilities. i want to make more money and be a more crucial part of a team but i'm so unmotivated to do anything that it's insane. i have so many different passions that it is hard to do only one thing. i paint, play and create music, i'm learning to tattoo, read all different kinds of books and am even starting to write a couple of my own. i love to draw but can't seem to stick with anything that isn't making me money and it is at least a two year apprenticeship with a tattoo master to even get a license of my own. and their is no way i can afford my house without my current job. i've not had a parent since i was 19 to ask for direction. my wife will support any decision i make. i'm willing to do alot to make a life for myself but i cannot move. it's the ONLY thing my wife has asked of me in our marriage. and i will respect her by giving her that. little money, little means, no college education. any and all SERIOUS answers will be appreciated. i know this was a long read and i thank you for your time reading it. peace.