Emma C

My fiance has no relationship with his family, hasn't for years. Anytime he has reached out the door has been slammed in his face. He went through such hell growing up with them that he has PTSD. He came into some money and now all of a sudden they are coming out of the woodwork wanting a relationship. I want to make him a playlist with songs basically telling him what he already knows, that I am here for him no matter what, and that I always will be. So, what are some good songs to use. I am into country and r & b / pop / hip hop so that is what he will expect and he is a metalhead. Thanks.

Does anyone know of any good summer vacation spots in Missouri that aren't going to be crowded in the summer. We are planning a trip for the end of June and want to stay in MO or close to it, but we don't want amusement parks or anywhere that is going to be ridiculously crowded.

I left my ex because we are just not compatible. But I still love him terribly and miss him a lot. Does anyone know any good songs that would help out?

My friends and I want to go camping for my 23rd birthday this summer. We are looking at anywhere from 6 to 16 adults and up to 4 kids. We were wanting something fairly secluded where we could also fish and swim. The only thing I have been able to find thus far are huge campsites and we would all rather not be around a lot of other people. I remember there were a couple places when I was younger that we went where only 5 or 6 tents could be set up but I have no idea where it was.

So my boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We were engaged several years ago after dating for 4 years, we split up for 4 years, and have since gotten back together. I am from a very larger family and stay as far away from most as possible. He has a semi large family and does not spend a lot of time with them although they are semi close.

Well, he wants to buy me this ridiculously expensive engagement ring so we obviously can't get married till he does. My last ring was over $8000 and I was 17 and he was 18. I don't want something like that again! Neither one of us are in the financial situation we were then. We were making a lot more and had a lot fewer bills. We already live together. So someone suggested to me at work the other day that I just ask him and we get married at the Justice of the Peace since we were having trouble finding a way to have a small wedding anyways and that we could just have a reception / party after.

Since we weren't planning a traditional wedding anyways, I thought this was a great idea. My next question is, do you think it would be appropriate, considering who would be there, to have a party vs. a traditional reception. We were thinking something like a barbeque type deal. There will be about 60 people, half of them kids (and only 8 over the age of 10). Basically just our friends, parents, and grand-parents (no extended family). We're both from more down home, beer and mudding and horseback riding families than dressed up, heels and tuxes. I don't think I've owned a dress since my junior year of high school. lol

So my questions are:

Should I just ask him so he quits trying to buy me an expensive ring?

What do you think about getting married at the justice of the peace?

What do you think of a party vs. a reception?

I am admittedly significantly overweight, but with surprisingly good health (i.e. low cholesterol, good heart, very active, good blood sugar levels, good blood pressure levels), though my menstruation has never been exact. I am constantly chasing my nephews around and babysitting my nieces and nephews. Anyway, my boyfriend noticed in the last week that I am having a lot of the same symptoms I did when I was pregnant 5 years ago. I had a very good pregnancy until I lost him at 4 1/2 months after being hit by a drunk driver. I am going to take a test tomorrow and schedule a doctors appointment depending on the outcome. My question is, does anyone know the effects of being very overstressed would have if I am pregnant again. I was told it would be easier to have a miscarriage now, after the accident. And by stress, I don't mean normal everyday stress. I mean, my boyfriend and I support my mother, who is disabled and we live in her house so we can pay her bills for her. My younger "brother" was in an accident last week and is in the hospital fighting for his life, and will have to re-learn to walk and everything else if he does survive. I work in an extremely stressful job working anywhere from 8 - 16 hrs a day and am known to go days without eating. I am very scared that if I am pregnant again, this will cause me to lose the baby. If anyone has any information I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

Okay, I am 22 and my boyfriend (23) and I live at my mother's house. We live there because she needs help paying her bills. She is on disability and does not work. My boyfriend and I both work full time. We give her between $800 and $1000 a month, plus I pay for her cell phone, we buy groceries and household needs. Last week my younger brother (19) basically got kicked out after he got into a huge fight with my mom and left finger bruises on her neck and destroyed the house, breaking sh*t and flipping furniture. He also took our laptop out and left it in the snow. This is the 3rd time he has got physical with her and he has gotten physical with me (to the extent of chipped teeth, fractured and bruised ribs, and scars) for years. So anyway, he got kicked out, he is still on my phone plan (only because she begged me to keep him) and he is to give me the money every month or I'll turn it off. Well she has anger management and emotional control issues. So every time she gets into an argument with her family (she is one of 15 kids) or with my brother or one of her friends, it gets taken out on me and my boyfriend. So today, after telling us at 8 how much she appreciated everything we have been doing for her and thanking us for helping her, she starts literally yelling and screaming at us (this is around 10:30) about how we don't help around the house, we aren't helping her with bills, no one cares about anything, we're lying to her, and all kinds of ****. So she says she is going to sell the house and move out of state. I finally got fed up with being the adult (she is 52 for the love of all that is holy!!!) and told her fine, leave, we'll get our own place, and that she was the only reason we were there.

Now I am feeling guilty because I do know that it is hard for her to control her emotions and things like that and I know her and my brother got into a fight on the phone between the two times her and I talked. So my question is, should I feel this guilty about what I said to her and about looking for an apartment because I am tired of dealing with her?

Okay, so a little background. I have known Bryan, along with DeWayne, since I was 9 months old (I am almost 23 and they are 23.). They are basically my older brothers and we claim each other as such. Bryan has been with Amanda for 4 years. The first two years they were together, Amanda and I absolutely hated each other. We fought all the time, and it was basically all because our other "sister-in-law" Sarah (DeWayne's wife) was going back and fourth lying to both of us. We realized it and have been pretty good friends the last two years. Well my ex and I got back together about 3 months ago. We were together 4 years, and then separated 4 years. Amanda knows that I have a fear of him cheating on me, because that is why we split to begin with. I found something I was going to get him for Christmas that took me forever to find (like a year and a half...we still talked occasionally while we were separated) but didn't have the money. Amanda had already bought his gift but said she was going to get if for him. Before she bought it I asked her not to because I was getting it for his birthday now that I had finally found it, and she agreed. On New Years Eve we picked them up and when she got in the jeep she handed it to him and said "Here Adam I got you this for Christmas. It took me forever to find." I was about 10 steps passed p*ssed off at this point. We ended up taking them home 2 hours later. So then about 4 or 5 days later she calls me, I had told her I didn't want to talk to her until I cooled down, though she didn't know why I was upset, just that I wouldn't talk to her. So when she calls I have her on speaker phone and she proceeds to tell me that Adam has been sending her inappropriate texts and tells me what they say. He denies it, he doesn't even like Amanda that much and never has. I also know she has told my "brother" that several other guys have done this to her, but admitted to me that they didn't, she just wanted to see what Bryan's reaction would be. She also text me like 3 days after the phone call and said "I hope your not mad at Adam." Why would you say this, if you are sticking to the story that he really said and did this sh*t? Over the last 4 years I have lost a lot of respect for Bryan and we really don't have a relationship. And at this point I really want nothing to do with Amanda either, but I also don't want to lose what contact I have with their two sons. Amanda keeps saying she hasn't done anything.

So I guess my question is, do I forgive her? Do I confront her about everything? Do I just put it in the past for the sake of my nephews? I really don't know what to do. I am afraid that if I confront her on this, I will say some things that I can't take back because she has a way of getting under my skin when she p*sses me off. She knows I have issues with the fact that they do not have their kids except during the day when her aunt is at work, among other things. So what should I do?

No, it was reported to the authorities, but yes something was done about it. Basically every guy she has dated,except for the one good guy, has / is doing time for some sort of assualt. Her father has basically given up on tryin to control her and my finace is getting pissed that I am fighting so hard to get her back because it's taking a toll on my health, my job, and my family.

I am from a very large family (my mother is one of 15 kids), there are probably 175+ people. I get along with about 25 to 30. My dad's family hasn't been a part of my life since I was 5 other than my sister, who I just regained contact with 3 years ago (I'm 22 she's 33). My mom HATES my half sister. My boyfriend and I are starting to make decisions about what we want and I have no idea how to go about inviting the people I get along with but not the rest of my family. If one person knows, everyone knows. I also don't know how to go about inviting my sister and her family without it causing a huge fight with my mother, whom I'm very close to and has been a single parent to me and my younger brother for the last 17 years. We are also getting married where my Grandma and some of my family lives, a small town of about 225 people, but a lot of family weddings have been held there so everyone knows it will hold our hole family.

My boyfriend and I dated for over 4 years, from the summer before high school till the end of the summer after graduation. We had known each other for 9 year when we began dating. We had a great relationship for the most part, I loved his family and they loved me. We spent at least 1, usually 2 or 3, weekends a month with his mom's family. He cheated on me, he didn't sleep with her but he made out with a girl after his friend convinced him I cheated and that he should make out with this girl to get back at me. I left him, and we were separated for 4 years. We have remained friends and we did sleep together a couple of times over the years. When I refused to get back with him, he stayed with her because he didn't want to be alone. They ended up having a son who is now almost 3. He left her twice, but always went back because she would not let him see his son. They hadn't really had a relationship the last year, he'd been sleeping on the couch and they worked separate shifts so they didn't have to be around each other. About 2 months ago he ended things with her, and about a month ago he moved in with me. He has talked to his mother once, he texted her from my phone and she told him she wasn't going to talk to him on the phone, he needed to come over and sit down and talk with her and his father. His father came over the day he moved out and they talked and his father basically said he knew it was coming. He doesn't want to fight with his mom. Well his cousin, who is a good friend of mine, is getting married Dec. 19th. I keep telling him that he needs to talk to his family before we are stuck in a small church and a small reception area with them for a full day. He said that he doesn't know if he will or not. His family is Catholic, like mine, and they were already upset that he had a child without getting married. He thinks it is going to be a big fight because he left her, which it probably will. I told him he has to talk to her at some point, and I would hate for him to go through the holidays not talking to his family.

I guess I just don't understand why I'm more concerned about him talking to his family and maintaining that relationship than he is. Can anyone help me with this?

I have known B since I was 9 months old (I'm 22 and he is 23) and he is basically my older brother. He has been with A (20) for 3 1/2 years and they have two kids. B has worked a total of 6 months since he was 15 years old. He does nothing but sit on his butt and play video games. He won't watch the kids while A is at work, he won't clean the house, he won't even get up and throw his soda can away, he throws it on the floor. So A comes home every day and cleans the house. He has cheated on her more times than we can count, and even has a daughter from one of the affairs. A has always forgiven him and let him stay. Finally 2 days ago she got tired of it and told B she wanted to separate. He is refusing to leave the house and basically throwing a temper tantrum I would expect from their 3 year old. B and I haven't really had a relationship the last year because in high school we dated for like 2 weeks, and a couple of times last year when he and A were having problems, he tried to get me to sleep with him. We never did anything the entire time we were together, h*ll we didn't even make out. A and I have become best friends over the course of their relationship and now she wants me to come down to their house when I get off work tonight and try to talk him into leaving. I keep telling her that she should call the County Sheriffs and have him removed because he is refusing to leave. The lease is in her name, all the bills are in her name, and she is the only one that pays them.

So my question is, should I go down there and try to talk him into leaving or should I call the County on him? And before anyone says it, yes, I am aware this is like a Jerry Springer episode. lol I just don't know if I'm over-stepping my bounds by calling since she can't bring herself to do it.

My "little sister" and I are unbelievably close. Our moms have been friends for like 13 years or something. I am 22 and she is 17. Last year she dated this guy Aron. They had a bad relationship, both treated each other like crap and were just mean to each other. They dated like 3 or 4 months. They split up and fight all the time. Aron knows it p*sses my sister off, so he will text her and ask her to hook up, just to make her mad when she makes him mad. She has told people lies about Aron, she even said he tried to rape her, then told me that was a lie she just didn't want the people she told to like him. I basically went off on her because that's not something you joke around about. Well I just met Aron a month or so ago. My sister gave him my number, and we just text every now and then. Well he text her the other day and said he was going to ask me out. He's 19 by the way. Well, he keeps asking me to come up to his house and chill with him (he lives like 20 minutes away) or to go out with him or hook up with him and I haven't done it. But we are talking. I don't want her to get upset that we are talking and are friends, but at the same time, it's not like she hasn't done the same thing to me. She's even asked out guys I was interested in. I've never dated a younger guy btw but she will go after them no matter the age difference. She hasn't done it in the last year though. She goes through guys like their water and is "in love" with every guy she dates. I don't even understand his interest in me. She is a very petite big chest tiny waist girl and I'm a big girl. The only thing we have in common is long brown hair and big chest.

Oh, and she keeps telling me that I need to sleep with Aron because maybe then I won't be such a ***** because I've been in a bad mood since my ex and I split a week ago. And one last stick in the fire, my sister's dad is now engaged to Aron's mom.

So my question is, do I keep talking to him, because we have a lot of the same interests and the same sense of humor, and I have no intention of dating him or hooking up with him, or do I cut contact so there is no risk of p*ssing off my bi-polar sister?

Okay so I met this girl "Jess" about 3 years ago when I was dating a guy she was friends with, "Wes". Well Wes and I only dated like a month but Jess and I became really good friends. The last two years though I have noticed that she is only the Jess I know when she wants / needs something and if you aren't giving her what she wants then she does everything she can to f*ck up your life and cause problems. Over the time I have known her I have dated 2 guys that she has hooked me up with and there both ended badly. Well recently Wes and I got back together and everything is wonderful. He, and his 1 year old daughter, have become the major facets of my life, outside of work and my immediate family. Yesterday Wes ran into Jess and one of my exes (whom he has known for years and is a particularly nasty human being). Jess decided she was going to try to cause problems by bringing up things that happen in my relationship with my ex and insinuating that my ex and I were still in contact. Thankfully, Wes is a wonderful man that trusts me and knows that he would be the first person to know if my ex tried to contact me. So now I am paranoid that she is going to cause problems between Wes and I, as even though they are not that close anymore, they have known each other for years.

So my question is, what would you do with a person like this? I have cut her out of my life in the last 5 months but she is "friends" with several of my friends so I still occasionally have to see her. On the plus side, Wes' family doesn't like her so I have that on my side. I have talked to him about this, and he says he loves me and is not going to let her do anything, but I can't get over the feeling that she is going to cause problems.

Okay, so I dated a guy on and off for a year. When we started dating I was 21 and he was 35, and my supposed friend hooked us up. They did a good job hiding his past until we were together. I didn't know he had 2 kids a 15 y/o son and a 2 y/o daughter, or that he was still married to someone else, or that he went to prison, or that he thought he was a player. So anyways, he's a horses *ss and a complete and total loser. He hooks up with some chick and a month later he's back living at our friends telling me he misses me and still cares about me and still loves me and all that jazz. And it's just a stupid cycle that keeps repeating.

So he moved back to town on Sunday. After I got off work at 11, my sister in law and I went over to the place he's staying and talked to him and hung out for a couple hours. I took her because every single friend and family member I have hates him, and he knows all the right things to say and do to get me back and I knew she wouldn't let it happen. So monday we go to my other brother's and hang out with him (22) and his fiance(17 almost 18). Come thursday we are supposed to hang out with my brother's fiance (my brother left wednesday for combat training). Her friends Rachel (16 turned 17 friday) and Mocara (16) ended up being there. Well throughout the night we are all hanging out. Rachel knows me and Robert's past and all the thing about his life that everyone hid from me. She said that she didn't like him, she couldn't stand him, he is older than her dad, yada yada yada. So at like 11 we go to the store, and I look in my rearview mirror and they are making out! So Rachel and Mocara end up staying in a room with Robert and Samantha (my bros fiance) because Robert can't take Rachel and Mocara to where he is staying and Samantha didn't want Robert staying at her house. Samantha stayed to make sure nothing happen. Every time they started trying something Samantha would yell "He's the same age as your dad!!!" or throw a shoe at them apparently (which I think is hilarious). So before they go to the hotel Rachel tells me she's sorry and hopes I'm not mad at her. I just looked at her and told her she REALLY doesn't want to talk to me at this point. And she keeps telling Samantha that she doesn't want us to be mad at her. So that morning Robert asks Rachel for her number (mind you he just met her at 8 the night before) and she tells him she doesn't give it to people she doesn't know. Samantha goes "Oh, but you'll **** him?!" and she says "Yeah, that's fun!"

Needless to say, they didn't get to do anything. I know Robert's a pig and loser, and I'm pissed as hell at him for still playin these games. But I'm more upset with Rachel because she was supposed to be my friend and promised me she wasn't going to hook up with him. Robert goes home and tells our friend that he doesn't know why I'm upset and he didn't do anything that should have upset me.

So am I wrong for being up set that a) my 36 y/o ex made out with a 17 y/o in my backseat; b) she basically was humping his leg in my car; c) they got a hotel room together; and d) think I should be okay with all this and they did nothing wrong.

Sorry it's so long.

Okay, I have been on and off with my ex for the last 9 months (as anyone who has read my previous questions knows). Well things are finally over for good, we aren't friends anymore, nothing, no contact. Well one of my friends called me last week and told me she had someone she wanted to hook me up with. It's her ex-husband. I met him one time, when I was with my ex, but really didn't know anything about him. She was telling me about him and how she told him about me, and he had asked her about me back when I first met him. She told me he thought I was cute and so I agreed that she could go ahead and give him my # and he could text or call me. So in the first day alone we did about 700 texts. We talked about all kinds of things and just got to know each other. He is a huge sweetheart, very easy to talk to, very caring. He's a laid back country guy. So we have been having a lot of fun just talking and getting to know each other. The third day we were talking, I realized, I didn't know how old he was. So I asked him. He's 42! I almost fell off the couch (I was watching a movie with my gf while we were texting.) when he told me that. He doesn't look 42, and my friend (his ex-wife) isn't even close to that. Well, we have a lot in common, and we have a lot of fun when we just talk. So should I go ahead and go out on a date with him and just see what happens? Or should I just leave it where it is, as a friendship? By the way, I just turned 22 a week ago.

I have been friends with Chrissy for 8 years. She is the type of girl that will drop everything for a guy (she has a 16 month old daughter by the way). At the moment she is sleeping with a guy she met on a dating site, a guy she met at the bar (went home with him the night she met him), and a married guy that she works with. Well a couple weeks ago she went on a day trip (which turned into an overnight trip) to the river with me, my ex, and my "brother", whom is married. Well, they ended up sleeping together, and now he is having an affair with her too. I have met his wife a few times, and while she is nice enough, I know she doesn't give my brother the time and attention he wants and thinks he deserves. But at the same time, I am a firm believer in not cheating as I have been on the receiving end. Every time I bring up the subject she tries to play it off like it's not a big deal, and lately, even jokingly calls herself a whore when she is talking about it, since she feels the need to try to share every single detail about her sex life with all 4 men with me (ewwww). Chrissy also "falls madly in love" with every man she dates. Every man is the man of her dreams and is going to sweep her off her feet and take her and Gracie (her daughter) into his life completely (and this is within a week or two). Two days after the first time she slept with my brother she was telling me how in love they were and how they were meant to be and all this crap. I was sitting right there in the car when he told her they were nothing serious it was basically a "slap and tickle" relationship. Now she is calling me wanting to know why he isn't returning her phone calls and stuff, at times she knows he is at home with his wife. How do I make her realize that she is just showing all these guys (she even talks about it in front of people she doesn't know) that she is a whore and they can just use her? Also, her step-dad has been having an affair for years, and her mom and sister and others know, and every time her step-dad comes up in conversation she says that she can't understand why this woman would risk ruining someone else's family just to sleep with a married man. I mean, wtf is that about?! That is EXACTLY what she is doing! And she asks me for advice then goes against ever single thing I say. How do I make her see what she is doing?

Okay, so my dad left when I was 5, died a couple months before I turned 14. I saw him like 3 times in between. His older brother died in 2005. This morning my half sister e-mailed me to let me know that they found my Uncle Karl, my dad's younger brother, Sunday afternoon, murdered. I have been upset all day, cried a bunch and I can't understand why. I wasn't close to him. From the time I was 5 until my sister found me on myspace 2 years ago, I had no contact at all with anyone in his family. I only met him a couple times when I was younger, but for some reason, I just want to cry and I feel horrible. Does anyone understand this, and can you explain it to me? How can I be so upset and hurt and emotional when I didn't even really know this man?

I dated a guy, Robert, for a few months. A friend of mine hooked me up with him, but she lied to me and failed to mention a bunch of crap about him. Including that he was 35 (at the time, now 36, and I will be 22 next month), he has a 13 y/o son and a daughter with my older sister's ex-best friend. Anyways, he thinks he's a player or whatever and we ended up splitting up and getting back together until december. He lives with my friend and almost every time I visit her (they live in another town so it's overnight visits) we ended up sleeping together (like 3 times). Well the last time I didn't let it happen. Well out of the blue he calls me tonight and ask if we can go hang out tomorrow. I said yes, but now I'm kinda re-thinking it. All my friends and the few members of my family that knew about him when we were dating HATE him because of all the crap I went through when we were together. I still have feelings for him, and he's flirtin and crap through text, I told him he had better behave. So anyways, now I am kinda reconsidering hanging out with him b/c I don't wanna get drug back into this crap. Have I totally lost my mind? Or do you think it's possible to just be friends with an ex that you have such a sexual past with?

Okay so my lil "sister" stayed at my house with me and my brother and mom last Thursday. Our families have been friends for 14 years. Whenever she is at her mom's house she has a midnight curfew. Whenever she stays at my house, her curfew is whatever mine is, that is how it has always been. She is almost 17 and I am almost 22 btw. Anyways Thursday, we decided to go see my older "brother" who lives about 25 minutes from my house. Anyways, time got away from us, and we were sitting in the lobby of the hotel my brother works at and she updated my myspace saying something about being in Linn with her and so on. Well her mom calls the next day, pissed off because we were in Linn at 4:30 in the morning, saying that she knows her curfew is midnight and that we should have told her and no one knew we were going down there. We explained to her mom that my mom knew where we were, we both had our cell phones, and we have never had to tell her mom what we were doing or where we were going as long as my mom knew and that she never had a curfew when she stayed with us. We told her that we didn't mean to stay that late (which was the truth) that time just got away from us and we apologized. She apologized for over-reacting and said it was fine, she was just suprised because we always tell her when we are planning on going somewhere outside of town. We told her it was last minute and she said okay that was fine. Well I guess she had said something to a friend of hers about it before we talked to her. Afterwords she was telling her friend what we talked about and her friend now thinks that my "sister" shouldn't be able to spend the night anymore and we shouldn't be allowed to hang out w/out one of her other kids there and that she should be grounded for the next 3 weeks. Now "mom" is thinking it over! This is ridiculous! My "sister" and I are neither one irresponsible or untrustworthy. We have never gotten in trouble (other than grounded for attitude or something like that), we both work, we help take care of our neices and nephews from irresponsible siblings, and we take care of our houses and cars. We came to an agreement with her mom, that no matter what, anytime we plan on doing something outside of town, we will at least leave her a text message letting her know our plans. Now, because of her friends saying we were being irresponsible and lying and that we are untrustworthy, she is rethinking this and is talking about grounding us from each other for the first half of the summer. This man does not even know me and my "sister" let alone our personalities and history. So we made a deal, we put the question on here and we're going to let you decide. Should my "sister" and I be grounded from each other for the first half of the summer, should she be grounded for 3 weeks, or should "mom" stick to the agreement we made? Mind you, technically we didn't break any rules, we just stayed out later than she thought, and didn't give a courtesy call.