Jane

I'm very good to my husband, but I've changed for the better over the years; I truly love myself. He has a mean streak and makes me feel like I'm the reason why. So...I set his a$$ free because I'm tired; because I know what love is and isn't. But when I packed his $hit he stopped taking $hit to me. Today he told his cousin he missed out on being with his soulmate. Ok...get the f()k out, go find her and be happy. I'm smart, sexy and successful. He didn't leave. I don't deserve or need this $hit in my life. I'm willing to let this marriage go with love and be very cordial with him because I'm awesome like that. But, when my patience gets tested I give him permission to leave. What's his got damn problem?

I've a dear friend going through a horrible CPS case. It's been proven she and her husband aren't abusive. However, these nasty caseworkers have filled their files with lies upon lies. Unethical, slander and defamation of character. She's now been forced to put her husband out of the home in order for her kids to return (without a court order; between attorneys and caseworker and the supervisor). This doesn't seem legal to me. Someone help!!!! I didn't realize this was going on until she broke down and got really depressed.

My friend is in a relationship with a man who cheated on her with his female best friend. He keeps telling her he is sorry but refuses to end the friendship with this woman. What advice can I give my friend? She's devastated after being with him four years.

For some time I've bedmate feeling there's a sexual attraction between my husband and daughter, mutually. I haven't said anything, today she sent him a pic of her in her bra and panties. I need some advice because now I've had it and ready to divorce him.

As of late my intuition had been telling me that my 16 year old daughter and 37 year old husband are getting oddly close. I feel there is sexual attraction and tension between them. I don't know what to do and don't want to offend either one of them. He now has his cell phone screen saver of her. They are getting closer and closer. Is my intuition wrong? Should I speak to my husband?

Sincerely,

Confused

My intution tells me that my husband is still in love with his ex gf. He tells me that he loves me but I do not believe him. I don't feel loved not the way he loved her. I cannot understand why he married me and he knows that he loves her. I wish I didn't love him and I am so confused. Verbally he says one thing. Now, he is a good man, father and husband. But still I don't feel like I have his heart. What should I do/ I have talked to him about it and he just tells me that it is me and that he no longer loves her but I can feel that he is lying. I am so confused and heart-broken. Once he did tell me he still cared for her and would be her friend if she ever came back into the picture. I do not trust him and am becoming distant. He feels it, I think, because he is trying to get close to me but I just cannot. I have children and consider them and don't want to hurt my family because of intuition. Advise please.

This has been heavy on my heart. It seems as though when my husband and I have sex he cannot stay up. But when I give him oral sex he is always at attention and appears to be very pleased. It has gotten to a point where I don't want to have regular sex because he does not stay erect. I was thinking that maybe if I lost weight things would change. He said that he enjoys sex with me but his other body part seems to disagree.

Marriage is about being selfless. Maybe I should just concentrate on what pleases him. He is a good man and I don't want to bother him with my feelings. I know that I just had a baby four months ago and I am trying to lose the weight. I can understand if he is not attracted to me. It just seems that way even though he says differently.

Should I just continue to please him and not worry about myself? I know that he loves oral sex and responds great to it. Any other sex he does not stay erect for me. I know it is my fault. Any advice?

My husband and I have been together for fifteen years. We had a breakup when we were young and he met someone esle that he fell head over heals for. Well I don't know what happened but they broke up. He said it was not on bad terms. He came back to me about a month or two later. I thought things were cool because I have always loved him with all of my heart. Well, I found out that he still had feelings for her but being young and stupid I decided to stay.

Now here we are so many years later. I asked him if he still loved her and he told me yes. I asked if he was in love with her and he said yes. He saw the look on my face and told me that it would not be fair if he lied to me. He said that I am his future and he has me and the babies. He said that you don't just stop loving a person just because you break up.

I have given this man fifteen years of my life and I feel so stupid. I know that I am partially to blame because I decided to stay back then. But that was then and if I would have known he still had feelings for her I would not have married him. I put off marriage for so long and he was the one who pressed the issue not me.

He tells me he loves me but I no longer believe him. I have not been as honest as to tell him that. I just feel as though I do not have him completely. He is a very honest man, very loyal to me and the childre. He is family oriented. But I cannot get past the fact that he is still in love with her after all of these years.'

I now know that I am his second choice and never was his first choice. I was there for him when he needed money for school. I worked like a dog to help him because I love him. When he was in a bad trucking accident where was she then? I am so heartbroken and sad. I feel so stupid. Like a fool. It is so sad because I have given him all of me genuinly. Why would he press me to marry him if he loves her? Do you all have any advice because my heart hurts so badly.

How many married men, or even men in a committed relationship, can honestly say that they can be just friends with an attractive woman or women and not consider anything sexual? Be honest! How many of you can have a female friend that is a knockout and sexy and not cheat on your girlfriend or wife or cross that line for that fact? Women do you think a man can do it? Would your wife or gf be intimidated by your sexy friend? Best answer gets ten points.....Call it a poll if you will. I am very curious. I don't believe a man can do it and not think about sex with the women but you are welcome to give me valid reasons why I am wrong or right. Thanks!

I just read a poll where it states that 86% of husbands will divorce their cheating spouse but only 23% of women will divorce their cheating mates. Why do you all think that women are more reluctant to stay in the marriage than a man? Is it a maternal thing? Most men will divorce the wife while most wives will stay. Why?

If a woman has a high sex drive and her husband does not how do you endure it? I mean it hurts to be rejected all of the time and it is never worth leaving or a divorce because you love your husband so much. It is just he does not have a high sex drive and rejection hurts so badly that you stop asking for it. I cry sometimes and I know it is my fault. It has to be. I don't bother him anymore or want to be a burden on him. How can I endure this because I feel so badly inside. Maybe if I looked like these pretty women...l just don't know anymore. What can I do? I am so sad. My husband is a good man. I am just so confused and hurt.

I am not hating on my friend for losing 100lbs. It seems like noone is reading. This woman does not even eat meat anymore because she said she does not want to be a fat cow. I have shown her healthy meats and she still believes she will get fat again. She keeps losing weight. She is 5'10 140lbs and still wants to lose 20 or 30 more pounds. Have you ever seen a woman that is 5'10 110lbs. You cannot tell me that is healthy people. She is healthy right now. She looks good right now. Why go any further because your husband said another woman is sexy or because society tells you you are a big cow? Be healthy for you. She lost 100lbs for her husband and she tells me she is still not happy. A true friend would not allow her to get down to 110lbs at 5'10. That is not freaking healthy. Everyone says to support her. No I will not support her becoming obsessed. Her own daughter said she barely eats anymore. That is not healthy and a bad influence on her daughter who now thinks she is fat at 5'7 123lbs. I mean come on. She has some serious issues that have gone past beign healthy and weight loss. I am not hating but I will not stand by and watch her kill herself. We have got to stop promoting body image and promote health. Am I wrong here? She keeps saying she lost weight for her husband. What about for her? She is miserable, hardly eats anything but fruit and veggies and always complains about wanting meat. I get sick of hearing that. I am a diabetic and tought her how to eat lean and healthy meats in moderation and still exercise and be healthy. She told me I was crazy and should weigh 110lbs. I am 5'7 and have a large frame. I asked my doctor and she said that would be unhealthy. I told her to talk to her doctor she said no her husband knows what he likes and wants and fat it not it. Ok, I agree it is not healthy to be fat but hell being bones cannot be good either. Am I wrong for telling her to focus on being healthy and not worry about being super skinny? Am I a bad friend for that? See other question too and respond if you wish http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200909...

I saw a woman that I had not seen in three months. The only difference was that she was like 100lbs lighter. I had to ask her how she lost 100lbs in three months. She said that she worked out three hours a day for six days a week and ate mostly fruit, vegetables, salad and drank mostly water. I was like that is good. But then I asked why the sudden change. She said her husband commented one day on how sexy Beyonce was. She said she looked at herself in the mirror and said if push came to shove she could never compete with a woman that looked like that. If her husband wanted a Beyonce type body she would do anything to make him happy. I in turn asked what made her happy. She said not having a husband that cheats with a woman with a Beyonce body. I said what would stop him if he wanted to anyway? She just looked at me. I said a body does not make a marriage two people working together does. I said his comment was not direct reflection on her and she should not have taken it that way. She said he said it for a reason and that was her sign to lose weight. Does a comment like that really drive wives to starvation these days? Has society's image of what a woman should look like taken us that far? She even said she would like to lose 20 more pounds. This woman is already like 5'9 or 5'10 and weighs 140lbs. I told her that would be extreme. Her response was that no man wants a fat wife because that is not sexy and attractive. I in turn told her that all women are born with the same sex organ and if a man wants it he does not care what you look like. Your husband should love you for you. I told her to focus on being healthy. She does look good but 20 more pounds and she will look like an AIDS patient. This is becoming an obession. What is the real problem here?

For the spouses that have cheated or are cheating. Why not be honest with your spouse and leave the marriage. Why stay where you are not happy, because you cannot be happy if you are cheating, and get a divorce? Isn't it better to leave rather than hurt the one you love? What did you do if you got caught up with a disease or a baby out of the affair, if this applies? Or what did you do when your spouse found out, if this applies? Why not just leave instead of cheat? I am curious to know this.

I mean do you women have a conscious of how much you hurt the other spouse. The unknowing wife is the victum do you not care about this? Is this why most mistresses don't get married themselves because they know that karma can be a real *****. What happens when the mistress falls in love and someone cheats on her? How does a mistress live with themselves and why do most persue married men? I just don't understand the husband is the true blame but mistresses always feel like they have won when the wife gets hurt. What is wrong with these women if they are so beautiful and the sex is so good why don't they get single men? Why married men?

My issue with my in laws is that they think my husband is the bank. He is the oldest grandchild. He has four other siblings the youngest one being 15. Well he is very family oriented. I respect that but I do not respect the fact that every time they need something they call him. They barrow money and never pay it back. He helps his mom and dad by buying his little sister clothes when she asks. But she is so ungrateful and spoiled. I had to tell him no when she asked him to buy her a pair of Air Jordans. $108.00 pair of shoes. His other sister has barrowed money, her and her girlfriend and yes she is gay, to pay their rent and for other reasons and never pay him back but always call to barrow more money and they just bought a car. Also, he sends his brothers money in jail. He feels so obligated. I am not one to come between family but I had to put my foot down several times and tell him Hell NO! You are not the bank and you have a family and responsibilities no matter how much money you make. His little sister expected him to buy her a $200.00 cell phone and I had to put my foot down again. He has already baught her two of them. Two months ago his aunt called and barrowed money said she would pay it back that Tuesday and never did. Now she calls like nothing happened and everything is cool. I mean this is out of hand so now I stop him from giving them anything and I began to actually dislike them for using the man I love. Now he tells them no. What do you think about this? Why do they use him like this? What should I do from now on because I can be pretty hard. I was raised to take care of myself and not depend on others? Am I wrong?

General question. Honest answers, and mature, only please. What would you do if you found out that your husband or wife cheated with a relative like your sister or brother? Would you get a divorce? To make it worse what if that person got pregnant or got your sister pregnant or your brother got your wife pregnant? Would it be worse if you had kids together already? Please share truthfully. I would disown my sister and my husband. What about you?

Serious answers only. Would you just up and file for divorce? Try to get to the root of the problem and try to work things out? Would it be easy for you to leave the one you love? What would your honest reaction be to the situation?

An associate rather of mine is wanting a divorce after her husband whipped her daughter. He has taken care of her since she was 1 year old and even adopted her. The girl is now 16 and he asked her to clean up her room. She has been out of hand lately in the worse way with her mom and not usually with her dad. She told him F-ck no and he demanded she clean up her room and do her chores. Well she said no again and spit in his face. He whipped her *** really good and she cleaned up the whole house. He told her she is never too old for a good old *** whipping and it is nasty and dispreespectful what she did. He said he loves her but will never tolerate this mess. She has been acting right every since. He does not play but loves her dearly. Now her mom wants a divorce talking about he should not have whipped her and he is wrong and that is abusive. I told her that she deserved to get her *** whipped and that if she would stop being her friend and be her damn parent then she would not be out of control. Her dad keeps her in line she has even slapped her mom. Do you think she is wrong for wanting an out of control daughter and a divorce.?

This guy I took classes with is cheating on his wife. He said that he loves her but he is cheating. His wife is a very nice women and he said he is in love with her. She is the only woman that has truly loved him for him. She cooks, cleans,takes care of home and him. He said she is not that attractive but very loving. She is kinda on the plus side but well kept I saw her and she looks like a nice lady and is very nice and good to him. Well the woman he is cheating with is very pretty, sexy and has a killer body. He said he cheats with her because she looks good and his wife is ok. I asked if he wanted to be with a woman like the mistress why not just leave your wife. He said that would be stupid because she is a good woman and another man would take her. He said sexually he wants to be with someone more appealing to the eye. Well his wife just lost like 50 pounds and looks great. But this other woman looks like a model almost but her attitude sucks. He said she is just a trophy and sex is visual also. I told him he was being very selfish and should just divorce his wife and let her move on because she is crazy about him. He said he is in love with his wife but lusts after this beautiful, fine sexy woman he is cheating with. He said he is never leaving his wife and takes good care of home and her. He said he has sex with his wife too regularly so he will never make her feel like less of a woman. I am confused what is wrong with men. If you are not happy at home why not divorce why cheat because the mistress is fine and pretty. I feel sorry for his wife. What is wrong with this guy and men like him?