Bianca

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men at the bar asked him what happened. "I did a horrible thing,"sniffled the drunk. "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of scotch."

"That is awful,"said the other guy. "And now she's gone and you want her back, right?"

"Right,"said the drunk, still crying.

"You're sorry you sold her because you realizeed too late you love her, right?"

"Oh, no," said the drunk. "I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"

The butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises coming from below. He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 19-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and masturbating with a liverwurst. He sighed and tiptoed back to bed.

The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he didn't have any.

The lady was annoyed. She pointed and said, "No liverwurst, eh? Well, what's that hanging on the hook right over there?

The butcher frowned at her and replied, "That, lady, is my son-in-law."

The butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was awakened by strange noises coming from below. He tiptoed downstairs and observed that his 19-year-old daughter was sitting on the chopping block and masturbating with a liverwurst. He sighed and tiptoed back to bed.

The next morning, one of his customers came in and asked for some liverwurst. The butcher explained that he didn't have any.

The lady was annoyed. She pointed and said, "No liverwurst, eh? Well, what's that hanging on the hook right over there?

The butcher frowned at her and replied, "That, lady, is my son-in-law."

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men at the bar asked him what happened. "I did a horrible thing,"sniffled the drunk. "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of scotch."

"That is awful,"said the other guy. "And now she's gone and you want her back, right?"

"Right,"said the drunk, still crying.

"You're sorry you sold her because you realizeed too late you love her, right?"

"Oh, no," said the drunk. "I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"

Stars if I made you laugh.

The scene was Elaine's Restaurant on Second Avenue in Manhattan on a crowded Saturday night. A stranger walked in from the street and pompously announced that, even with a blindfold on, he could identify any wine.

The challenge was immediately accepted. A dark cloth was placed over his eyes and wine after wine was handed to him.

"Lafite-Rothschild,1958," he would announce. Or, "Bernkasteler Badstube,1951."And he was always right.

Finally, someone handed him a glass he couldn't identify. He sipped, and then he sipped again. Suddenly he spat it out and pulled off the blindfold. "Hell, man! This is urine! Plain fresh urine!

"Yes, said a small voice in the background, "but WHOSE?"

Stars if I made you laugh.

The scene was Elaine's Restaurant on Second Avenue in Manhattan on a crowded Saturday night. A stranger walked in from the street and pompously announced that, even with a blindfold on, he could identify any wine.

The challenge was immediately accepted. A dark cloth was placed over his eyes and wine after wine was handed to him.

"Lafite-Rothschild,1958," he would announce. Or, "Bernkasteler Badstube,1951."And he was always right.

Finally, someone handed him a glass he couldn't identify. He sipped, and then he sipped again. Suddenly he spat it out and pulled off the blindfold. "Hell, man! This is urine! Plain fresh urine!

"Yes, said a small voice in the background, "but WHOSE?"

Read it and see.........................

Day good a have .smile you made I hope I and sweet are you say to want just I but , words swear many throw may you this reading finish you time the by. Now read it backwards.

Star this if it made you smile & pls read it

A boss wondered why 1 of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.Having an urgent problem with 1 of the computers,he dialled the employee's home no. & was greeted with a child's whisper,

"Hello"

"Is your daddy home?"

"Yes"

"May I talk to him?"

"No"

"Is your mommy there?"

"Yes"

"May I talk with her?"

"No"

the boss asked,Is anybody else there?"

"Yes,a police man"

Wondering what a cop would be doing there, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the police man"

"No,he's busy"

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to daddy & mommy & the fireman"

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone,he asked,"What's that noise?"

"A helicopter""

"What's it doing there?"

"The search team just lended a helicopter",Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated,the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..........

"ME"

Star this if it made you smile & pls read it

A boss wondered why 1 of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.Having an urgent problem with 1 of the computers,he dialled the employee's home no. & was greeted with a child's whisper,

"Hello"

"Is your daddy home?"

"Yes"

"May I talk to him?"

"No"

"Is your mommy there?"

"Yes"

"May I talk with her?"

"No"

the boss asked,Is anybody else there?"

"Yes,a police man"

Wondering what a cop would be doing there, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the police man"

"No,he's busy"

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to daddy & mommy & the fireman"

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone,he asked,"What's that noise?"

"A helicopter""

"What's it doing there?"

"The search team just lended a helicopter",Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated,the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..........

"ME"

and how does a top contributor differ from others?

it would be nice if all of us at P&S wore something that symbolises christmas. Who's with me on this one?

When someone asks a question like: what's your favourite colour? ( example), how do they choose a best answer? I mean, we answer honestly. Do they choose the person who likes the same colour as they do or do they look at the profiles or avatars to help them decide.

Okay, I need your opinion on this one: There's this guy I've been seeing for about a month now. He's got a girlfriend and I've got a boyfriend. We call each other every day. When we meet, we do nothing else but sex. Is that all he wants from this? He says he enjoys having sex with me and I also enjoy having sex with him, but is it right?

I mean, if love was meant to hurt so bad; then why do we keep on loving and never stop?

............in your pocket.

What is the one thing we need to know about you?

star me if u know the exact stuff in your bag.