Varg

I have been with my wife for about twenty years, almost seventeen of which we have been married. My wife has been dealing with a serious injury for about four years. She has back pain, migraines, an ulcer and many other minor illness issues. I have supported her through all of this, and even defended her to mine and her families. They have criticized her for the amount of medicine she takes, and the fact that she does almost nothing everyday. Despite all of my actions to defend her, she still has lashed out at me if I do not say or do exactly as she expects when we are talking to her doctors or family. She says I did not stand up for her against the person who she sees as attacking her. Like, I said she does little to nothing but sit or lay on the couch and watch tv all day or sleep. We have three kids, all teens, which brings in a whole other set of dramas and difficulties. I have tried to be the voice of reason with her, but basically either because of the medication or her faculties...she lacks common sense much of the time. A bunch of little short sighted things that add up to create a much larger more problematic picture. I have tried to talk to her and share my feelings and emotions with her, and she does the same, but then it seems to go nowhere. She has finally agreed to go to counseling with me, but despite my hopes, I have little sense of possible resolution coming from that. She, has become more opinionated and even down right hateful at times towards me and our middle child (who coincidentally is more like me). I know this is a lot, and there is more I could add, but honestly I don't know if there is anymore relevant information to paint a much clearer picture then this. So, what I guess I am asking is how anyone else would proceed with this set of relational circumstances?