Miss M

I'm not looking to get pelted with judgement. Just would like to hear your feedback. I'm a 35 year old single, independent woman who has started talking to an old high school friend going through an awful divorce. We are from the same small town in Oklahoma but I live in Chicago and he lives in Dallas. We essentially know all of the same people. Therefore, I can't really talk about this to anyone that we both know. His mom was my high school Math teacher and his dad was my 5th grade History teacher.

He has been married for 12 years. He asked for a divorce in 2002 and she tried to kill herself. He asked again for a divorce in 2005 and she tried to kill herself. She has left him 3 times, but he always took her back. He paid for her to go back to college and 2 years ago she winds up pregnant. He is thrilled. A son is born. When the baby is 6 months old- he questions her as to why the baby doesn't look like him. She reveals FINALLY that the baby is not his. He's devastated. He actually tried to work it out for 10 months. She left him again stating that she's in love with the baby's biological father. He's beaten up. Enter me. I tell him that he doesn't have to live that kind of life with that kind of deception. He and I start emailing as friends 2 months ago. About a week later the wife decides she wants him back and he no longer wants her back. She finds that he's been emailing me and tries to kill herself. So, we start talking on the phone. We've spoken just about every day since. He says he has feelings for me and I feel the same. It's been very up and down- of course because he's filed for divorce and she will not leave him alone. We talk for hours. She breaks into his phone records and sees my number. She's called some 20 times over the past 2 months. I finally answered and told her that nothing was going on. She's since mentioned my name is false police reports and blames me for the demise of her marriage.

I'm way too wrapped up in this drama. I know it. So he tells me he needs time. I understand. He's hot and cold. I'm sure given his circumstance. (He is giving up the baby as well.) He took a friend of mine to a movie over memorial day and I freaked out a bit. He says I'm blowing it out of proportion. His divorce isn't finalized. We keep saying we're going to not talk- and then we end up talking. He's asked me to meet him in our hometown on July 4th to see each other (we haven't seen each other in 7 years.)

Do I go? Do I not? He's still legally married. He's hot and cold. Am I a bad person if I go? How much time is he going to need to get through all of this?

I feel like his feelings are honest. Emotionally his marriage has been over since 2002.

Is this the worst way to start something? Should I just completely back off and tell him "Call me in a year when all of this is finalized?"

Just not sure what to do. I can't think clearly right now because we get along via phone and email and text. He tells me we are building something. He just needs time.

Is this just ridiculous? HAHA! I feel silly asking all of you- but I literally am in the middle of it and I can't even tell right from wrong right now. Should we stop all contact? (By the way- I've never ever disrespected anyone's marriage in my entire life. This just happened out of the blue and I didn't see it coming. Never thought I'd find myself in a situation such as this.) Okay- there you go- fire away...

I think it's stupid to have someone on that early in the evening- cutting into other primetime dramas. What do you think???

What's your fave?

I missed it last night- didn't see who got kicked off.

Any good ideas?

Work, family, holidays- the stress can build up. What do you do to relieve stress in your own life?

I fell asleep and missed it!

Any ideas on what is a good screenwriting software that doesn't cost WAY too much?

Does a child get taken away if you call in anonymously? Or will the state investigate first? Do they let the child go with a family member or do they place the baby in state custody?

My sister-in-law is from Russia. Not yet a U.S. Citizen. She and my brother have a 21 month year old little boy.

In her care only- while my brother is at work- the baby has had two very serious head injuries- the first they thought he had brain damage. She doesn't tell my family what happened.

He also burnt his little hand on her curling iron- it bubbled up horribly- but she refused to take him to the doctor.

She doesn't want him to be "Fat like Americans" and 3 doctors and 2 nurses have told her he is underweight for his age. He weighs 27 pounds. She will only feed him very very little through the day.

She doesn't shower him with hugs and affection because she doesn't want him to be a "Wuss like Americans." She wants him to be "Strong like Russians."

Also- on his baby crib- there are HUNDREDS of bite marks on the rail where he has stood and literally gnawed through the dark wood to the light wood beneath. She also hits my brother in front of the baby and throws water bottles, etc. at him- and the baby cries when this happens.

Yet she doesn't listen to ANYONE. Says we are stupid. Says we don't know how to raise children. My brother works 14 hour shifts and I'm not defending that he doesn't stand up to her- but if he does- she hits him.

Do I call Child Welfare? If I do- will the child be taken away? I just don't know what to do. I think she needs a stern talking to and parenting classes- but she won't listen to ANYONE in my family. And her family is in Russia.

Any advice???????

Our receptionist is being laid off this week and we are all just sick about it. Super sweet person and very hard worker. What is an appropriate gift for someone getting laid off??? Any thoughts? Any ideas?

Just wondering...

My niece is turning 16 in March. Her mom and I (her aunt) are throwing a pretty decent sized bash for her. We are wondering what kinds of things 16 year old girls like to do at parties- besides eating and dancing. Are there any cool party favor ideas, too? Any cool decorating tips? Any creative ideas out there? We're game to hear them! Thanks in advance! :)

I live in a building with 200 units in downtown Chicago. The apartments are SMALL and the walls are THIN. You can have visitors- but you are responsible for how loud your visitors are. My last neighbor was great- I could hear him laugh a lot and it was funny. But I got a new neighbor about a week ago. She and her boyfriend have VERY LOUD sex. I sincerely am embarrassed to say anything to the office staff- I mean- do I tell them this??? There is NO mistake at which the moans and yells and screams are coming from. It is happening EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NIGHT. It makes me uncomfortable- because I don't know what to do! I turn up my television and sometimes it helps. But sometimes it doesn't.

Should I tell the office staff that they are being loud- and leave out that it sounds like loud sex? I've lived here for 4 years and they love me at the office. But I don't know what to do about this one. I sincerely wouldn't feel comfortable telling the new neighbor.

ANY ADVICE???????

The owner of the company I work for has only invited half of the office to his wedding. There are only 12 of us. HAHA! Isn't this a bit rude? Is this proper ettiquette? I don't TRULY care that I'm not invited- but I work my a$$ off for him and I think it would have been a nice gesture. Am I wrong?

My sister-in-law was the best thing since sliced bread before she had her first child. She is horrible now to my family and most of all to my brother. Sadly, it doesn't look like the marriage is going to last much longer.

This girl never lets my brother have alone time with the baby. She refuses to let my brother take the baby to the park alone. She's paranoid, I guess. In her care the baby has cracked his skull, burned his hand on a curling iron, eats away at the side of his crib- literally bite marks, and hits himself in the face.

Is this neglect or abuse? Does my brother have the right to bring these things up if they divorce? Can she stop him from taking the baby on visitiations? Can he stop her from taking the baby and moving out of their state? All he does is work, come home, she hits him- it scares the baby- and he just wants out of this. She is also Russian and does not yet have her citizenship. Anything my brother can do ahead of time here?

Thanks!

I just had possibly the best interview of my life. I was hired on the spot. Two people interviewed me. One was the hiring manager and the other will be my future supervisor. Do I now send thank you cards or a thank you email of any kind? Is that appropriate? If so- what should they say? Any help or advice is appreciated! THANK YOU! WOO HOO! I hate my current job and this was just the pick me up I needed! WHEW!

:)

I do not have insurance. I hit my head at work on Friday and went to the doctor today (still have a headache, feel off) and she wants me to get a cat scan. So, I call my employer and they say the doctor is probably just being "Overly sensitive." To which my doctor was pissed off. So, my employer says they'll have to file a workman's comp claim for me and it could take a really long time until any payment is made if any- back to me for paying this out of pocket. The owner also used the word, "SUPPOSEDLY" when he was talking about me hitting my head. There was no SUPPOSEDLY about it- I hit my head on a suggestion box they have mounted high on the wall in the work kitchen- right above the very low trash can with a flip top lid. I leaned over to shut the lid and when I raised up- BAMMO! So, I think they are giving me the run around. Can I do something about this legally??? Do I wait to see if workman's comp pays??? Do I just leave and find a new job? HELP!

I hit my head at work on Friday afternoon. I was throwing something away in the kitchen and when I rose up- I nailed the top right side of my head on the big wooden "Suggestion Box" mounted on the wall. (My suggestion is going to be that they move the suggestion box.) And I almost passed out. I immediately got a headache. I came home and went right to sleep. Now my sleep pattern is really weird. 2 days later and I feel naucious and today- my neck hurts. Is this a concussion and if so- what should I do to treat it??? Also- I feel drainy. I feel like something is running down the back of my neck. And all I want to do is sleep.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!