Nootaley

I feel a disconnect from the world. No matter how many people I make friends with, I just end up growing bored. I love them then dislike them. I constantly fluctuate between the two. I find myself only caring for worldly thoughts. Sometimes I wish that I could just live in the moment like others but I cannot. I feel like I have all of the answers to life but I am no where near the end of it. I care for some but while I crave their presence, I wish to recluse from them as well for I grow tired of them. I feel happy at times but I psycho-analyze it to the point of it seeming ridiculous. I listen to others and their problems and remain calm and so they enjoy telling me. But I cannot sympathize with their sadness or anger or anything. I feel emotionless. Robotic, if you will. I am not as easily upset as others so I tend to just listen. I can connect with the ideas and help from an outside view. But I often wonder why they cannot just be like me and cope. What is this disconnected near heartlessness I feel towards everything?

I have had an acquaintanceship with a guy since I was a lot younger. Since middle school, actually. Even then he would do strange things that hinted he may have had interest. But we had a major gap in the social scene so I could never tell if it was a cruel prank or joke...or if I was liked. For example he came up to me and put his wristband on my arm randomly, and then said he wanted to see if it would fit. It was mainly in choir that his random spurts happened. I moved after middle school to another city.

I moved back half way through high school. Maybe talked twice in a year and a half. All similarly awkward. Well he invited me to his graduation party. I attended...after awkwardly talking for a week before that. And by awkward it seemed like flirting...making sure to tell me he dislikes going to anything like parties unless he has a girl there to make out with. In attendance...I ended up talking to every adult in the room because I am scared of people my own age. At one point I ended up texting from across the room apologizing for being awkward. He turned around and laughed and told me to go join his circle.

There is also our last conversation where he called himself boring. He has so many friends that it is ridiculous to believe that. He then was insisting that he wasn't being himself. It gets weird here: "I just get silly when I talk to promiscuous girls". Now...that sounds insulting. But I said I am flirty at times but not that bad. And then told me that it was enough. I asked how so, and he said it was just the way that I look. Which leads me to believe he meant to say attractive but messed up?

But he hardly ever responds. has only talked to me on his own accord once. He told me "hey" the day before he was coming back home for a visit. He is staying elsewhere for the summer. But then stopped talking again. I didn't get to respond to that hey until the day he was on his way. But I didn't know he was coming back until after he already left. I thought he was still away the whole time. So..... Does he have interest...or am I suspicious over nothing?? And if he likes me...does it seem more than sexual or is it just for that? Also, if I am liked...what should I do about it? I always feel like I am intruding.

I have had a major irritation at something that my partner has done. I expressed directly my irritation with the action. But I am hearing new details all of the time, that just make my anger worse. But when I revisit this issue, my partner gets even more angry than I am. This action involved him doing something with friends that I would not approve of, and was instigated by another female. This I found disturbing for it involved "victory laps" which meant running nude. Now she made all of them gifts for it. I want to tell him that it bothers me and that I wish for him not to use his gifts, considering she is apparently the only other woman who can make him lose his clothes. How do I do this reasonably?