Sophie

Hellooo :) I am a 10th grader in high school, and i want to know more about teaching english as a second language. I plan on traveling to many countries when I get out of school, but I want to have a solid career at the same time. I just love the idea of teaching english as a second language, for a number of reasons! I just need to know how. I have also considered staying in the united states, but my main goal is to get to at least one more country.

My official question is: What majors in college should i take (because i will get a degree) and are there any other certifications that i should know about?

Alright, i hope you are a woman reading this... and an adult

Well. i'm almost positive i have a yeast infection, I looked up the symptoms and i have had these problems for months... which i think is far too long.

I would go straight to the doctor and get antibiotics but... i'm sixteen and i have to ask my aunt to take me :( now this is really terrible for me because i know i have to tell her. I remember in 7th grade i had to tell her i thought i had lice and she was very jumpy and it seemed like she was disgusted with me. And yes i know it is pretty gross but i think she was being a little... i don't know. Well the problem was fixed- and now i have a new one.

Here is another thing... i'm not a virgin, i kept thinking i'm almost seventeen and i was in love... or i thought. well anyways i had sex about five times (protected), but we did other things too. but i'm led to believe this is why i have a problem. I have to tell her about the infection, but i am not going to tell her about the sex. I don't know how i will keep it from her but i have to do it or my life in this state will be over. literally she told me if one more bad thing happened with me i would be gone. So i'm keeping a secret.

She and I have a strange relationship, and this is why i'm asking the question. She does not like to talk about the natural side of a woman, and once i told her i had missed my period for more than seven months and she seriously didn't talk to me for half a week. She took me to the doctor but she didn't even look at me the entire trip, she read her book in the lobby while i went in and talked to the doctor (this was when i was 15 btw) But i'm afraid this incident will be much different, we have been angry at each other for a few weeks and i don't talk to her much anymore. she knows me and my ex were close and she had her suspicions and i'm really afraid of what she will say.

PS: i'm not bad, and i really did think i was in love when i made my choices before. so please don't judge me :/ and thank you in advance. It is not as simple as 'just telling her' and i appriciate your answers

So I am a freshman in high school, and all my life I have wanted to travel. I have dreamed up places in my head and spent countless hours researching how much it would cost to go here- there- somewhere other than where I am now. It's going to happen, I will travel.

But I also just joined AVID, which has opened my eyes to college and career life. I understand that college is very important, as well as having a goal for my upcoming career.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO BE!!!

but this isn't a personal problem entirely, we will be doing a speech in AVID about our chosen career, even though I haven't yet chosen one..

So I need help. I value culture, intellectual stimulation, travel (duh), adventure (seeking new frontiers of the mind as well as body), languages, and interaction with the people of the world.

can somebody pleeeease help me? I am very confused and have nobody in my family to talk to about this, because they don't agree with the idea of me traveling everywhere.

:)

So I am a freshman in high school, and all my life I have wanted to travel. I have dreamed up places in my head and spent countless hours researching how much it would cost to go here- there- somewhere other than where I am now. It's going to happen, I will travel.

But I also just joined AVID, which has opened my eyes to college and career life. I understand that college is very important, as well as having a goal for my upcoming career.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO BE!!!

but this isn't a personal problem entirely, we will be doing a speech in AVID about our chosen career, even though I haven't yet chosen one..

So I need help. I value culture, intellectual stimulation, travel (duh), adventure (seeking new frontiers of the mind as well as body), languages, and interaction with the people of the world.

can somebody pleeeease help me? I am very confused and have nobody in my family to talk to about this, because they don't agree with the idea of me traveling everywhere.

:)

So I am a freshman in high school, and all my life I have wanted to travel. I have dreamed up places in my head and spent countless hours researching how much it would cost to go here- there- somewhere other than where I am now. It's going to happen, I will travel.

But I also just joined AVID, which has opened my eyes to college and career life. I understand that college is very important, as well as having a goal for my upcoming career.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO BE!!!

but this isn't a personal problem entirely, we will be doing a speech in AVID about our chosen career, even though I haven't yet chosen one..

So I need help. I value culture, intellectual stimulation, travel (duh), adventure (seeking new frontiers of the mind as well as body), languages, and interaction with the people of the world.

can somebody pleeeease help me? I am very confused and have nobody in my family to talk to about this, because they don't agree with the idea of me traveling everywhere.

:)

Alright so i should start from the beginning.... We knew each other in 6th grade and he lived right up the street from me. and he and his mom and brothers used to give me rides to school. Then he moved away for junior high, but he is back now in 9th grade.

It started in P.E. in the beginning of the year, and he would stand behind me before i shot a basketball and whisper something in my ear and i would miss. i thought that was it though, just so i could miss! but then he would stand behind me again and pretend like I bumped into Him! and he started hitting on me randomly and would trap me under his arms like up against a wall and i would laugh and push him away. Or he would whistle or sling his arm over my shoulder, or slide his hand down my arm when i was turned away. sometimes he would come up behind me and just wrap his arms around my waist like we were dating.. mostly he would just mess with me when we played basketball though.

I liked him a lot but the problem was so did my best friend Jacquie! So i didn't do anything with him because of her for the whole first semester.

Then she moved across the country.

Wow!!!! So now he still hits on me and i get nervous and laugh. and i think he can tell i like him. and i haven't seen him flirt with other people like he does with me. Thing is... I heard he has a girlfriend! OH NOOOO! Somebody told me that yea he's got a girl already but she lives in another state or something. Crappo!!! So he still flirts with me even though he's got a girl and i don't know what to do!

Whenever he does something that kinda gets in my personal space i would just laugh and tell him to piss off or something, but he would also get all hurt like i rejected him. Hes ****** gorgeous, funny, and really BOLD.

I don't want to reject him but i think i have to! What do i do? Every time he comes near me my heart kinda stops....

Alright so i should start from the beginning.... We knew each other in 6th grade and he lived right up the street from me. and he and his mom and brothers used to give me rides to school. Then he moved away for junior high, but he is back now in 9th grade.

It started in P.E. in the beginning of the year, and he would stand behind me before i shot a basketball and whisper something in my ear and i would miss. i thought that was it though, just so i could miss! but then he would stand behind me again and pretend like I bumped into Him! and he started hitting on me randomly and would trap me under his arms like up against a wall and i would laugh and push him away. Or he would whistle or sling his arm over my shoulder, or slide his hand down my arm when i was turned away. sometimes he would come up behind me and just wrap his arms around my waist like we were dating.. mostly he would just mess with me when we played basketball though.

I liked him a lot but the problem was so did my best friend Jacquie! So i didn't do anything with him because of her for the whole first semester.

Then she moved across the country.

Wow!!!! So now he still hits on me and i get nervous and laugh. and i think he can tell i like him. and i haven't seen him flirt with other people like he does with me. Thing is... I heard he has a girlfriend! OH NOOOO! Somebody told me that yea he's got a girl already but she lives in another state or something. Crappo!!! So he still flirts with me even though he's got a girl and i don't know what to do!

Whenever he does something that kinda gets in my personal space i would just laugh and tell him to piss off or something, but he would also get all hurt like i rejected him. Hes ****** gorgeous, funny, and really BOLD.

I don't want to reject him but i think i have to! What do i do? Every time he comes near me my heart kinda stops....

PLEASE READ ALL I AM REALLY DESPERATE FOR ADVICE.

ok so the school year just started and there is this guy that moved away and has just returned. I remember back about a year ago practically drooling over him every time i saw him. i had a crush on him for about two years basically. But now my friend Jacquie, who moved back to this school about a year ago(and is one of my best friends) has admitted to me and a bunch of other girls that she has practically been in love with him since the second grade. (if you are wondering about all the moving then let me explain; i live in a military town called twenty nine palms, and there are marine families that move back and forth between bases. but ironically this boy that i talk about isn't a marine boy)

Let me get back to my question. My BEST FRIEND IS IN LOVE WITH MY LOVE!!!!

And just recently we were practicing basketball in the gym and he came up behind me after seeing me make free throw after free throw. he was at first just messing around like a gorilla and telling me to act big. but then he stood right behind me and whispered in my ear just before i threw the ball and i missed. and today when we were lining up on our role call numbers he leaned on the wall that was behind me and stood really close. (As in he was in front of me and his hand was leaning him on the wall behind me) He was obviously hitting on me, and he asked if he could pull my hair and when i said no, he asked if he could do it later and gave me a funny look. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A DREAM COME TRUE!! if it weren't for all the guilt about my friend.

So she comes to me at lunch and is gushing about having stood right behind him in the lunch line and wanting to touch his back. i go very silent and i feel like i am drowning in shame. i excuse myself and wait in the bathroom after lunch crying in the stalls.

I hate this feeling, but every time i see him now he calls out to me "Hey chika" and smiles the most beautiful smile. I really do like him, but if he keeps doing this while my friends are around the word will eventually reach Jacquie and she will wonder why i am having conversations with her childhood crush.

I NEED HELP!

I want him so bad, like i have never wanted any other guy before! and he is so genuine and original and adorably shy. and he has that spicy mexican charm! but i would die if i ever hurt Jacquie

I can see myself making long sweet love to him(not that i would! im not like that really) and i honestly don't know if he could ever hurt me. Even if he did break up with me i would still be happy to have been with him.

Not solving my problem Sophie...

Anyways i hear Jacquie is moving in a year, and that is the only light at the end of the tunnel. I try to make this the least boring as possible and hope you help me. I have not let anyone know about this and its starting to eat away at me. I wish he would wait until she moved so i don't have to worry before every class period i have with him. because he is constantly looking at me and flirting with me. I REALLY NEED HELP. I think if i told him my situation he would understand, but i am not the best one for explaining things, especially when i am around him.

Please, i would appreciate any advice!

I am a junior in high school and i have liked this guy for about a two years now, i am really crazy for him. every time he looks at me i feel like flying! this is the perfect guy for me too, he is genuinely funny, has a sweet boy charm, and we get along so well we could have known each other all our lives. i sometimes felt like i could even be in love with him.

The only problem is that one of my best friends Jacquie has just admitted to me that she has a bad crush on him too. When i heard this i got this rotten feeling inside of me. She is so much better than i am in so many ways. i know for a fact that he would choose her over me in a heartbeat. I don't talk to people who i don't know very much, where as she has never met anyone who wasn't a friend. She has this sun inside of her that even i can see, it is one of the things that i liked about her when we met. but now i can't stand to be around her. i can't stop being jealous of her. and now i can't even talk to him or flirt like we used to, because she told everyone that she likes him. I just don't know what to do! i don't like feeling these bad feelings, because Jacquie is a great friend to me and everyone who i am friends with. but i have known richie for much longer.

Now i have ruled out trying to chase him now, this is because when people find out that i went after Jacquie's crush then people will start to call me a man stealer. (I know this because i have had friends do it before) and if I tell Jacquie that i have a crush on him too then it will bring her down much farther than i am now. And since i don't want to hurt her feelings i won't tell her. but if they do end up going out it will, i'm sure, last forever. I want this boy so bad, he is the only one who has ever made me feel like this before. i have had crushes before but never one this severe, when i think about him i feel so happy. I don't know what to do. There is a rumor that Jacquie is moving in a year, but that's the only light at the end of the tunnel. but even if she does move, he will still always be hers because in a way- now he is off limits to every one of her friends. i just wish i would have done something sooner, and now i don't know what to do. And what makes things even harder is that i see him every day after school at the library where we do homework. What i really want is for her to stop liking him, and when i admit this it makes me feel like a rotten *****. but it is true.

i just need advice on what to do about my feelings. my heart really feels like it is breaking.

ok so i am going to be a freshman this year. i have lived in this town for three years, 29 palms. its a desert area in california for those of you who don't know. its hot and sandy and mean. not just the weather but the people too. I miss my old friends still, back in Temecula, who treated me like family. but the people here are far from it. The people i go to school with are military family and usually don't stay for long. that's just a background though.

My real question is is it bad that i hate where my life is now? and that the school that i go to reminds me of prison. the walls are literally stony grey. the teachers are cold and guarded. and the majority of the students are delinquents and whores who talk **** and trap you in their lies. Not that i haven't lived in a place like this before. i was raised in Los Angeles, and have gone to the little ghetto elementary schools before, but this is a different kind of ghetto. its every man and woman and teacher for themselves. it is very much like prison in many ways. i know this because my dad went to prison for three years and has told me the general ways of it. and the two are very alike.

But the few true close friends that i have want me to join in their school spirit. they go to the games and talk about joining cheer-leading (for fun mostly). they start and participate and end drama all the time. but never include me luckily. and they join a few of the after school programs and clubs, urging me to join them. And is it bad that i see in my future already, four years of hell? I don't have any school spirit. if i was invited to a game with someone, i would probably have fun, but i wouldn't care if our school lost horribly in front of my eyes. Maybe its just that i hate my life, but i would rather think it my school than everything that i am. Which is a fifteen year old foster child from all over cali, but who doesn't like to inflict pain like these people do. when i am a mother and my kids ask me about my high school life I want to tell them about what an awesome experience it was. but i know it won't be, and I will probably look back when asked the question and want to only forget about it. Does anyone have the same kinds of feelings? is it normal?

Ok so i am a freshman ALMOST! I start high school in like three weeks. now the school that i am going to has a lot of really Girlie girls, and they wear short shorts and dresses and tube tops. Painting their faces with makeup and poofing their hair up so it looks like an eighties movie.

Not that i am going to do that, but i want to ask my aunt (legal guardian) to drive me to the store and help me with finding some make up for me. I mean all throughout junior high, the girls have been evolving and i just stay the same. two years went by and now all the girls look like models. and here i am, plain little old me, never doing my hair other than to braid it to the side or let it go(its long and darkish) and never wear make up or use skin products.

I also live in the desert, and my skin feels kind of dry sometimes. i want to send the message to her about it.

This is one of the only things i don't like about myself, i don't know how to do makeup or dress my hair up or anything. My hair is my best quality though, it would be fine just put down and brushed. I think if i had an older sister or something it would be better, but its just trying to look pretty that gets hard when you don't have any make up of any kind.

I am only asking because she is the only female... adult i can ask, and we aren't really that close. i mean she had her daughter- my cousin- give me the talk. and to talk about getting my period she came in one day and held up a box of pads and asked me if i needed any yet and to just tell her im running low when i need more. yea i guess she must be shy about that or something.

And what also makes it harder is that she talks about when she got pregnant at seventeen and just let herself go.Then having four more kids. Never dressing up. so she is about forty five now, and hasn't really used make up in a really long time. I just need advice on asking parents who aren't that close about buying make up and growing up a little.

Hah, yea im not gay, but my problem is almost as important to me.

I want to tell my family what i really want to be when i grow up, which is a writer. I love reading stories with lessons beneath, i've learned some few lessons in my life before and i have put three of them into short stories in a journal that i hide. I also like writing adventures and romance and horror. (But these are just ideas in my head that i would like to write about later)

My problem is not that i'm afraid they won't accept me, but that it will fall apart in front of them.

I have had other interests in the past, like the piano. Everyone says that i have had a musical influence from my childhood, from my uncle who played in an eighties band. but even though i liked to listen to him sing and play when i was little it wasn't like he ever taught me guitar or any other instrument.

I started learning piano alone at first, but when my aunt (legal guardian) heard me play she sent me to piano lessons. I got better, but i had enjoyed it much more when i learned it alone. and when they pressured me more about it i decided to quit, because i didn't enjoy it when the music was only for others and not for me anymore.(sorta, but its a bit more complicated)

I want them to know about my ambition, but then again i'm afraid of what people will expect of me then. If they will expect me to show them my stories and write more for them just as they expected me to play for them on the piano.

I want them to know its a personal thing that i do, and that i just want them to know so that one day when i go to college and take writing classes or whatever they won't be shocked that i have an interest.

My family at home includes my legal guardian, Mary, and my cousin who i never speak to. My father also lives in L.A. and so does my mom, but i am only close to my father. and about a million cousins who i am not very close to.

my family life hasn't just been difficult in the past. It still is. The only one i'm sure that really loves me is my father, my aunt shows no affection toward me but does to her own children. Not that that matters to me, but i can't just depend on her love toward me. like i said, i'm not really that close to my mom

Any tips on how to tell them? and any other tips about writing if you want (:

this makes me happy, but I can't seem to get over the fear of showing something so personal to them, i know if i become a writer i'm going to have to get over that, but its different with family and strangers you know?

Thank you in advance ( :

I posted this earlier but people just said to tell them and it didn't really help. i've tried to just come out some days and it doesn't seem to flow easy with me..................................

Hah, yea im not gay, but my problem is almost as important to me.

I want to tell my family what i really want to be when i grow up, which is a writer. I love reading stories with lessons beneath, i've learned some few lessons in my life before and i have put three of them into short stories in a journal that i hide. I also like writing adventures and romance and horror. (But these are just ideas in my head that i would like to write about later)

My problem is not that i'm afraid they won't accept me, but that it will fall apart in front of them.

I have had other interests in the past, like the piano. Everyone says that i have had a musical influence from my childhood, from my uncle who played in an eighties band. but even though i liked to listen to him sing and play when i was little it wasn't like he ever taught me guitar or any other instrument.

I started learning piano alone at first, but when my aunt (legal guardian) heard me play she sent me to piano lessons. I got better, but i had enjoyed it much more when i learned it alone. and when they pressured me more about it i decided to quit, because i didn't enjoy it when the music was only for others and not for me anymore.(sorta, but its a bit more complicated)

I want them to know about my ambition, but then again i'm afraid of what people will expect of me then. If they will expect me to show them my stories and write more for them just as they expected me to play for them on the piano.

I want them to know its a personal thing that i do, and that i just want them to know so that one day when i go to college and take writing classes or whatever they won't be shocked that i have an interest.

My family at home includes my legal guardian, Mary, and my cousin who i never speak to. My father also lives in L.A. and so does my mom, but i am only close to my father. and about a million cousins who i am not very close to.

Any tips on how to tell them? and any other tips about writing if you want (:

this makes me happy, but I can't seem to get over the fear of showing something so personal to them, (i've had problems with family in my past, so its not very easy for me to open up) i know if i become a writer i'm going to have to get over that, but its different with family and strangers you know?

Thank you in advance ( :

ps. i know i have punctuation problems to deal with, but this came out in a rush.

so i just set up an i tunes thingy cause i got agift cardd in the mail for my birthday, and its asking me for my home address. i was just wondering why they do that? do they send the album to your house too? im confused...

yes so. i was just in my room sitting at my computer and i didn't have a shirt on, just a bra. cause well. its 100 degrees outside and IM IN MY ROOM. yea so i was just sitting there and the light was off and i was watching some sims video on youtube and BAM my aunt walks right in without knocking and brings me laundry. so i sit there for a minute, shocked. and decide to sit still cause she is partially blind and sometimes she doesn't notice things. So i sit there all still and she comes around my chair and was like "What the hell, are you watching porn?" and i was like "NO ITS HOT! THANKS FOR THE LAUNDRY" and so now the dog is in my room and she spends another minute calling the dog from under my bed. and now i don't want to leave my room cause im extremely embarrassed. what do i do now?

PLEASE please read it all, i need advice so that i do this right. and so you understand.

so throughout my life very bad things have happened to me. So many memories of being abused and neglected by my mother.

getting a second degree burn on my arm and her telling me to put water on it and leave her be. Memories of being left alone in the foster care system after countless promises of her to get clean and get a job.

The day in the court room when my father was sent to prison for using and dealing drugs.

The foster homes that i was just beginning to love before i had to go and find a new one.

When i moved into my aunts house and her son verbally bullied me and made me cry. her doing nothing to stop it.

The teachers eyes when i had to share something about my family life in class.

The day that my aunt promised to give me back to my dad, but when she stood in the court she agreed to become my legal guardian.

The nights i spent alone in our house in Temecula, mary having to work two jobs.

Me eventually finding a new home where the people accepted me and loved me, like an adopted family in replacement for my lonely one back home. but no, the rent went up again, and we couldn't find a new house in time before we starved.

so we moved 140 miles away from L.A. where my original family lives (just when we are starting to heal the wounds too) to the desert of 29 palms -a military town-.

when i moved here i fell into a deep depression after having to leave the only family that seemed to love me unconditionally (temecula).

but after about a year out here i decided i didn't want to be unhappy anymore, so i stopped crying at night and tried to block it out, or bury it deep inside myself so that nobody could see.

and my emotions never got out of hand again. my friends all teased me about how i didn't really ever get mad anymore or even get angry at the people who wronged me. it was all there still though, all the anger and loneliness and depression. it was like a well full of gasoline. deep underground. but whenever a spark of anger or sadness comes along the whole thing blows up.

and i find myself crying over things that i thought i had gotten over long ago. but the sparks just keep coming with this b .i.t.c. h.

Mary makes it a game to mess with my nerves and tries to break my calm attitude. she chews me out on a daily basis. she yells and bites and cuts me deep with her words.

and i already knew long ago that she didn't really care for me or even love me. but every time my well blows up and it breaks me as a person to relive it all over again.

and i can't just move out because my dad is still an ex con and my mom a drug addict. so my only solution to escape this (because i know i've tried to explain it to her-plenty) is to run away.

I won't go into counseling because after my depression before they tried to send me, and it just didn't work out. I won't call child protective services and find another home that i will eventually have to leave.

Mary gives all to her son and none to me. and since everything in my room belongs to me(because i bought it myself, with babysitting money) i won't feel any guilt about taking more than what i came to her with.

I live in the desert like i said, i can't just walk to another town and live under a bridge.

I thought that maybe i could explain this to one of my closest friends (with a car) and they could take me to the train station with my fake I.D. (I do look over 18 btw) and i could travel a bit like i did with my mom when i was little. do all of this until they stopped looking for me,

then send some letters to my mom and dad telling them i'm ok. and that i will see them when i really do turn 18. i just want to get away from her, and she seems to have trapped me in every possible way.

sorry for the long message but i really need help. I'm 16 and have been wanting to run away from her since i was eight. i have seven thousand dollars saved in the bank account that my sister set up for me and i recently withdrew it all in cash (over time).

just a bit to make you understand that this is my only solution before you answer my question. so please some tips? advice for people on the run? i would really appreciate it.

Ok today in my English class my friend and I briefly talked about religion, and she asked me what i was and i said i don't have a religion. So she started talking about christianity, and i have nothing against christianity, but i didn't want my classmate trying to persuade me to join her church (or really just to talk about something as dense as religion to my friend). so i said i wasn't interested but thank you anyways. then she said something under her breath after that.

I asked her what she said and then she said "good luck with hell then"

I was so shocked at her words that i was speechless for a minute, and she kept looking at me. but then my shock turned into anger, and i said "Well i'm glad your not god, cause you obviously don't know anything about good and bad"

And HOLY CRAP I REGRETTED THAT! i swear when someone makes me angry i shoot out words that make things way worse than what they are, but i said it and i can't take it back now.

After i said that she turned around and we listened to the teacher talking. i could almost feel her anger afterward, and she didn't talk to me the rest of the day. I don't know what this means for our friendship, and i want to apologize but i don't know what to say

::::::

and sorry if this is offending anyone, because i don't mean to do that. I just want an answer of how to apologize...

Ok, so i have a kind of f uck ed up past, and i'm only 15, but its so f uck ed up that i can't really put it into this message. And i don't like to talk about it anyways

So, in school i don't mention my family, or the places i've lived, or anything to do with my past, and my friends think its weird, but there is this guy that sits in my history class that seems to like me, but whenever he asks about my past it gets all awkward, and i think he can tell i am uncomfortable. I just wonder if i can ever open up to anyone in that kind of way.

So, since i'm not going to tell him anything, i wanted to know if being mysterious works the same way for guys as it does for girls? because i'm really into this guy, and i'm scared that if i show him my history then he will get all scared and run into a hole. lol. but really, i was just wondering.

Thanks in advance!

ok so last friday i got asked out in history class, problem is i didn't really know him. A girl came up to me and asked if i wanted to go out with a guy named kaleb (who is EXTREMELY popular) and i said that i didn't know him very well so probably not.

I mean i have never even talked to him before! he was kind of cute, but that's not something that would throw me into a relationship with someone.

Plus he has a twin and his name is kyle which is kind of confusing...

I said no, first of all because i can't accept something like that when he didn't even ask me in person, and second of all i have seen him around but never talked to him.

When she went back to him, i heard her say "she said no" and i felt really bad. and also when i told my best friend about this she called me crazy because i could have been instantly popular with him.

Not that being popular really matters to me, in fact i actually would hate to be really popular.

I just don't understand. should i have given him a chance? gotten to know him a little? My friend is pretty baffled at my choice, and i don't know if i did right.

and every time i see him now i feel really guilty and kind of sick knowing i caused that rejected feeling on someone else. and now, not only is he a stranger, but he is a stranger to AVOID.

Did i do something wrong? it kind of feels like it

Ok so i live with my aunt mary, in 29 palms, CA. 140 miles away from the rest of my family, which includes my father, my mother, my brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews and also my best friends from my old neighborhood.

Now she is my legal guardian. she gets paid? yea, five hundred something dollars a month.

for some reason, i never have seen a dollar of it. my aunt must be using it on rent or something because, nothing in my room (NOTHING) came from her.

every single thing i own has come from my dad, who also gives me allowance, who also drives three hundred miles every two weeks just so i can visit my family for two days.

yet, in the room next to mine. my 18 year old cousin david, has a flat screen television, xbox, playstation, PC and a MAC, and he gets paid allowance when i'm not looking. but what does he use it on? shh don't tell mary, he goes and smokes pot with his friends. No job btw.

Now i know, five hundred dollars a month, can get me something. and so i asked. once.

She started yelling at me, like i just asked her why her newborn son is so ugly

I don't understand. Why can't I see any of it? I even pay for my own phone. I used to practically live with another family, when we lived in Temecula. and i only came home when i wanted to get some sleep (it the fourth-sixth grade btw)

And now, we got into a fight, and she said i was being a smart a. ss to her and she took away my computer. the computer i spent TWO YEARS saving for. nine hundred dollars. that she did not pay for. So i came home and walked in my room and my computer was gone, i asked her about it and she told me this "when you learn some respect for your elders you will get it back" and she hid it.

she doesn't even demand any respect from her dog. who bites and eats her shoes, and chews on her blankets. but one false look from me she steals nine hundred dollars from me. and i KNOW she isn't broke all the time.

What can I do? i hate feeling powerless.

and i only live with her because when i was seven i was put into a foster care system.

My mother lives with my brother, who has tons of kids. so i can't live with him.

and my father lives alone in a one bedroom apartment, in L.A.

I can't just sit here. (i'm fifteen)

and i'm only on the computer now because i am at the library