fatalfable

So I had this dream last night and I was wondering what to make of it. Please give your insight on it's possible deeper meanings.

Its set in like an eastern European town

\small town. possibly by the water

and I am a classical guitar student under a master teacher or something

and in the dream

we are playing guitar for little kids

and this one little girl

who also has her guitar with her

she breaks her strings

she starts crying and I tell her its going to be okay

and I replace it for her

she asks me if I can teach her afterwards

how to play guitar well

and her father interrupts

he asks me do I know the responsibility of taking care of an autistic child

and I say yes and start like hysterically crying

I begin teaching her and taking care of her

and further into the dream I become super over protective of her

and she becomes like a daughter to me...

my dream ends by me hugging her telling her I love her

So for most of my life I have been fascinated with japan and always have wanted to live there at least for a few years to experience life there. Now my issue is that becoming an English teacher is not something I REALLY want to do but If I had to I would. Either way, I am here asking if there are possibly any options? Now I am a music therapy major and before you guys saying bad about it, actually do some research about it since its not like I play so and so song then your supposed to feel better. It's the furthest thing from that. But I'm not here to describe what it is. There is a Music therapy association and undergrad programs in Japan but due to some cultural and social issues it's going to take some time before it becomes in demand. Now setting this aside I am/will be a classically trained guitarist as well. So is teaching music a possibility even though I am sure they don't need many teachers? I am also thinking about the possibility of joining a band. Marty Friedman is such a big idol and influence to me. It's really obvious in my guitar playing and I can imitate him extremely well. Considering he is so popular in Japan maybe it would go in my favor in getting into the music scene? What do you guys think I should do and what are some options?

I'm just looking to buy some sheet music here in NYC. I don't want to be waiting a few weeks just to receive some sheet music. I also don't want to pay 100-200% of the actual cost of the music just for one day shipping. I'm looking to buy classical guitar repitoire WITHOUT tab. I'm mainly looking for some bach, piazzola, tarrega, villa-lobos, etc. The typical guitar stuff.

I'm just looking to buy some sheet music here in NYC. I don't want to be waiting a few weeks just to receive some sheet music. I also don't want to pay 100-200% of the actual cost of the music just for one day shipping. I'm looking to buy classical guitar repitoire WITHOUT tab. I'm mainly looking for some bach, piazzola, tarrega, villa-lobos, etc. The typical guitar stuff.

its been 8 months since i gained a perception disorder and im simply sick of it when everyone expects me to do so well in school and to just "ignore it" noone understands how hard it is to live with it. No doctors know what the hell is wrong with me and ive head doctors in colombia, bascolm palmer, and other top hospitals. When we tell them my symptoms they are like "what"?. I feel like commiting suicide but i wont cause im too much of a little ***** to do so. I dont have any friends at all so i have no one to talk to in school about this, and when i tell teachers about my problem and ask them to give me some sort of a break cause im having hallucinations the whole day they either forget that i have this or simply dont give two shits. Whats the alternative to dealing with this as my parents stall so much to get me a decent therapist again. I had one from last october till march, i then got this and i have had to deal with the anxiety myself.

umm i just transfered to a new school this junior year in high school and i have not been able to make a single friend i only made 1 aquantince whom i do not like. A few girls have attempted speaking to me but the conversation ends up in a silent moment and they leave.

My last friends who were my first friends that i made in 8th grade went into drugs and as did I, it resulted in giving me an unkown perception disorder and im partially hallucinating, slow responsive eyes, feeling spaced out, so i stopped hanging out with them about 8 months ago when this started.

I picked up reading in replacments of friends at least for now. so im just wondering how friends are made? My previous friends came to me and spoke to me and we found things in common, that was that. The last friends i made by confronting were in 5th grade, and resulting in my constant moving and me used to being near obesity (i now have a bmi of 22) had no friends in 6th-7th.

Ive been isolated from speaking to people my age since april and even though im in school i just read so i can try to be the slightest bit distracted from my eyes.

after a series of events that happened to me with my eyes and anxiety issues i became incredibly facinated by hallucinogetic drugs yet at the same time incredibly afraid about them. Everytime i read stories about them i have anxiety attacks. That had been going on since my eyes mest up through something that was in my pot when i used to smoke which i stopped back in april. For the past week ive been having nightmares about them and when then rush starts (which is the thing that happens when it starts to drop) i wake up while an anxiety attack is at its peak which actually convinced me a few times that i had actually taken the drug and was about to drop.(my anxiety attacks make me feel as if my body is parting away with reality kind of like a piece of construction paper on a blank one along with increasing the symptoms with my eyes which consists of visual snow, series of lights and some patterns, after images, slow responsive sight.) I know that theres a few people on the mental section of ask yahoo who know alot about dreams so i would wonder what might be happining, its really affecting my school life as i just entered a new school and i was put into 3 AP courses which requires my upmost attention.

back in febuary i started smoking pot, by the third of fourth time i got hallucinations which should not happen on pot. ever since then (did not notice much untill a month later) that i had a condition called visual snow which is when your whole visual field is filled with static like on a tv which also came along with many lights, afterimages, some distortions, ability to see what your eyes retain of a light and still see it floating around in my visual field and see it changing shapes and such. in the first week of april i was somehow gradually getting high throughout the day reaching at its peak at around 6 pm and starting over when i go to sleep and wake up (i did not smoke at all during this time).

on 4/19 i had my first anxiety attack, since then my perception and feeling of everyday life changed, apparrently it is called depersonalization. 4/20 i had a therapist appointment, i had anxiety attack number 2 with my first distortions, i felt like i was falling into a void of myself, everything seemed to be moving in place. went home hopefully to be feeling better, i ended up in the ward the next day, given ativan they gave me too high of a dose (im very sensitive) i halucinated and vomited of it. Klonopin was prescribed for me, had severe anxiety problems untill mid june. Everything else has been the same since.

After some how taking this obsession of drugs especially hallucinogens(i never took them but im just facinated by them especially lsd) it led to me studying of many different drugs. I finally ended up on pcp after being curious about it last night. I found out that people did stuff into pcp to make it stronger, and that pcp causes minor hallucinations and numbness. Im wondering if this may be the case when i hallucinated on pot that one night and that im permenently stuck like this? im trying my utter best coping with this, its pretty challenging really, i kind of feel like in the situation of a good spirit giving his life protecting the innocent of the bad spirits so the bad spirits wont harm the innocent.

back in febuary i started smoking pot, by the third of fourth time i got hallucinations which should not happen on pot. ever since then (did not notice much untill a month later) that i had a condition called visual snow which is when your whole visual field is filled with static like on a tv which also came along with many lights, afterimages, some distortions, ability to see what your eyes retain of a light and still see it floating around in my visual field and see it changing shapes and such. in the first week of april i was somehow gradually getting high throughout the day reaching at its peak at around 6 pm and starting over when i go to sleep and wake up (i did not smoke at all during this time).

on 4/19 i had my first anxiety attack, since then my perception and feeling of everyday life changed, apparrently it is called depersonalization. 4/20 i had a therapist appointment, i had anxiety attack number 2 with my first distortions, i felt like i was falling into a void of myself, everything seemed to be moving in place. went home hopefully to be feeling better, i ended up in the ward the next day, given ativan they gave me too high of a dose (im very sensitive) i halucinated and vomited of it. Klonopin was prescribed for me, had severe anxiety problems untill mid june. Everything else has been the same since.

After some how taking this obsession of drugs especially hallucinogens(i never took them but im just facinated by them especially lsd) it led to me studying of many different drugs. I finally ended up on pcp after being curious about it last night. I found out that people did stuff into pcp to make it stronger, and that pcp causes minor hallucinations and numbness. Im wondering if this may be the case when i hallucinated on pot that one night and that im permenently stuck like this? im trying my utter best coping with this, its pretty challenging really, i kind of feel like in the situation of a good spirit giving his life protecting the innocent of the bad spirits so the bad spirits wont harm the innocent.

my whole life has kind of been filled with some tragic stuff and nothing ever seems to get better. In the past year i suffered through depression for the first time but i kind of grew out of it at around march. Since then i gained some pretty bad anxiety problems and conditions along with a neurological disorder called visual snow which is an unkown condition so thats probably why you have no idea what it is. My depression kept on coming back and hitting me harder every time. I kind of always feel like im in a dream. Why wont my depression ever go away for more than a day now?

i have just found out that greg howe is having a guitar masterclass at berklee college of music. I would love to go meet him and see my future school ( i think i have a very good chance of getting in ). what do i need to know to actually be able to "fit in" a guitar clinic. I know a good amount of theory and understand new things quickly. But the problem comes in that its being done inside on of the schools buildings and im hoping someone might know if i could get in the clinic even though im not a student.

p.s. i know i already put this question up on the jazz section but since the last question put up there was a day ago i dont think it would be answered any time soon.

i have just found out that greg howe is having a guitar masterclass at berklee college of music. I would love to go meet him and see my future school ( i think i have a very good chance of getting in ). what do i need to know to actually be able to "fit in" a guitar clinic. I know a good amount of theory and understand new things quickly. But the problem comes in that its being done inside on of the schools buildings and im hoping someone might know if i could get in the clinic even though im not a student.

umm i wont get into any details to what my life was like cause you will spend an hour reading about it but i will say that i have gone through so much stuff that throughout my 15 years of living 12 years of it was shrouded with negativity, diseases, conditions, isolation, loneliness not always neccesarily at the same time the isolation and loneliness came about at 5th grade.

none of this really affected me too much untill around last september. It was kind of like an after affect to all that happened, i suffered through a chronic depression untill around this late febuary and i somehow just got cured until late april. March i got into some drugs, gained an uncurable perception disorder along with some pretty bad anxiety and a condition called depersonalization which caused me to stop the drugs. the anxiety went away a few weeks ago. Now i just moved to florida, friendless again (got my first friends in 8th grade till the end of this grade)

Im still a bit depressed right now but i some how miss my chronic depression. I kind of miss the choking feeling when your about to cry even though i never did. i miss the not eating for days, the weight on your shoulders, the pain you feel on your chest, all of it. I even crave for an anxiety attack to happen so my disorders symptoms will build up. All i can really think of is that since my life has been filled with all this stuff that this is all i know. I dont know how to socialize so i cant do much about getting a friend. Is there something severely wrong with this? Im not sure but i kind of want somekind of judgment from somebody about this. I cant talk to my mom about this since all she says is pray to God. As of right now i cant afford a therapist since i just moved. i had one but i stopped seing her once i got my condition since i spent most of my time in hospitals testing, and being in psych wards cause no doctor could find out what was wrong with me.