Hannah D

My mom was very abusive to me and my sister. She and my dad divorced when I was little and she was a single mom.

She used to do a lot of little things like make us feel bad if we didn't do everything around the house (and I mean everything, at 9 I was cleaning clothes putting them away for her and we even had to make sure to wake her up in the morning to go to work) If I did anything right she would devalue it (like when I was in honors classes in middle school, she said I was stupid and that I only got put in them because my teacher didn't like my sister but liked me). When my sister and I were in college (and she was still collecting child support and living rent free) she would hide our w2s or throw them out so we couldn't get financial aid and she refused to help us out in anyway. I had it worse than my sister because she always favored her (gave her praise, explained away her bad behavior, etc.). I do love her but I couldn't take her abuse anymore and was glad when I was able to leave for college.

Well now she is living in a shelter. She had a mental break down and was in a hospital. I didn't have the room to take her because I live in a small apartment and my sister of course doesn't feel sorry for her at all. A part of me feels a little guilty for what is happening to my mom but I don't feel bad for not taking her in. It's not the just the small apartment; I couldn't take her telling me everyday how bad I am. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Long story.

Like a lot of people I graduated college very naive but positive. I was laid off from a decent paying job and after that did temp work before deciding I wanted to work in the education field. Sadly, the charter school I worked for let all non full time employees go so now I am back to being on unemployment.

Each time I was laid off (the temp jobs didn't last more than 6 months since those were temp only) I had to wait 4 weeks before I saw one penny of unemployment. I had little money in the bank so I did a very stupid thing, I used my credit card for rent, food, and sometimes gas (and one time a vet bill). I tried to go to a debt consultation place my credit card company referred me to and the girl told me that my problem was not budgeting it was lack of income. I told her I would work 70 hours if I could but it was hard to find work. She told me that a chapter 7 would be my best option to give me a "fresh start" and she told me I could look at repairing my credit after that and when I was working a steady job.

Any way, I am very depressed. The Unemployment Office told me that if I can get accepted into a program for my teaching certificate for a year and a half they will arrange for me to have my tuition waived and grant me an extension. It would be a year and a half of scrimping (I live with my boyfriend so he told me he can handle the rent while I am in school, the logic to him is that when I am teaching, I will have a better income and perhaps he can go to vo-tech while I work). I also plan to volunteer as a tutor if I do this, I always volunteered while on unemployment, it just felt wrong not to give back.

Sorry this was long, so I don't know what to do, I have tried working with my credit card companies but they don't want to budge on my min and one has gone to collections. I feel so depressed because my father always taught me to be good with my money but I wasn't buying designer clothes, or anything luxury like. I was trying to keep a roof over my head and food on the table (which was peanut butter and pasta mostly I once even went 10 days without eating). I also worked hard so I could have a decent career and maybe own a home, and a decent car (all though taking the bus is good for the planet! :-) ) not so I could file for bankruptcy and have to have my boyfriend make sure I am not homeless.

What else are my options? Has any one else had to file? Were you able to get your credit back? I have not told anyone in family and I wish I could talk to my boyfriend's dad because he is an attorney but he made a remark the other day about how people ruin their credit about being irresponsible and filing. I also can't tell my older sister, she was smart and became an engineer so she has always had a good paying job (which she did work her *** off to get) and even though she cares about me, I know she will be upset, and she is getting married soon and I am her maid of honor so I don't her to think I can't afford to be one.

What should I do? Please try to be too harsh, I am actually crying as I write this.