Aestar2

I am trying to come up with a username... and gwc19 is what I am gona go with. and I have to choose cuz they won't let me change it again. it means 'glory will come' and number 19 is a random number. So is it fine? I have a hard time coming up with usernames

How is a person who has blocked me can be notified of my tweets instantly?

She blocked me but whenever I tweet she receives them and indirectly responds to them.

What would you do if a person hurt you online and this person was thinking she did nothing wrong. But then after sometime you cursed her out and she felt bad but didn't know what it was about. Then you made the mistake of explaining to this monster that the reason you were attacking her was this and this and this.

And that is the mistake I made cuz now this person is all happy again cuz she did nothing wrong. It was better before when I didn't explain it to her and just cursed her out a few times but now that I explained everything she doesn't care. And this hurts a lot so what should I do?

So I am in the hospital in the mental psych ward here in toronto, canada and they have injected with me twice with antipsychotics and it has made my life hell. I am constantly restless and my legs are shaking. I am tired but my body tells me to get up and move. And when I walk I get bored so I sit down. Then whole thing again. Vicious vicious cycle. On top of it I get these panic attacks that I never used to get before and they have crippled me. I get panic attacks that last a very long time with heavy breathing and shaking and hyper vigilance. The doctor has said the restlessness goes away and has given me additional medication to counter it but hasn't worked. And from the last time I remember it was the same thing... it was constant agitation and restlessness for 6 yrs.

On top of it all they want to put me on cto(community treatment order) which is involuntary treatment that follows me even when I leave the hospital and I have to accept injections indefinitely. These injections are poison and are making me agitated, resltless and depressed. And to top it off my younger brother, the person who attacked me, is going to be my SDM(substitute decision maker).

Basically what happened was that I took my stuff and was heading out to leave the house when my younger brother stepped in front of me and said give me your keys. I said no. He said give me. This went on for a bit and then he attacked me.

So I wana move out of the city but I am locked up in a mental hospital and I feel lost at slight things people do to get under my skin.

This has got to do with my family but I can't get out of here. I am stuck.... and I hate my family and they are gonna put me involuntary treatment with them in charge.

I wana talk to them about something that happened a month ago but I feel scared cuz there was a physical fight as I left the home a few days ago. I am humiliated and I dono what to do.

Feeling lost and deeply hurt

I am locked up in a mental psycho ward with crazy people. The reason is cuz my family put me on a form and police arrested me outside of our house and brought me here.

Alittle background: I got into a fight with my younger brother after I took my stuff and was heading out when he stepped in front of me and said give me your keys. I said no and move. HE stands there and says give me your keys. I refused and this went on for a bit and the he attacked me. I fought back but then my father joined in and took the keys out of my pocket and my mom joined in too and they were twisting my arm so I couldn't hit him. Then finally I broke free and my brother pushed me from top of stairs and I fell 5-7 steps down and hit a bike. They then all disappeared into the house.

This has devastated me and I wana revenge and hit all 3 of them but I am locked up here.

I also have a numbness that I developed a month ago and I intend to talk to them but I dono how... but the most important thing on my mind is revenge. I wana beat my dad/mom and younger brother. Cuz this has devastated me and I need to take it out on them and restore my pride and honor.

So I got into a fight with my younger brother after I took my stuff and was heading out and he stepped in front of me and said give me your keys. I said no. He's like give me. I'm like no... and then I said move. He stands there. This went on for abit and then he attacked me. There had been a couple fights before this that day but this was really bad. HE was beating and I was beating him up and we were equal with him maybe slightly edging me maybe and then my father joined in and took the keys out of my pocket. Then I couldn't let it go and and this went on and on and my mom joined in and they are like this is something no parent should see blah blah while actively twisting my arm to stop from hitting him. So now it is 3 against one. Then I break free and my brother pushes me from the top of stairs and I fall 5-7 steps and hit a bike. They all then disappear into the house.

This has of course devastated me but even worse I am in mental hospital stuck here because my family put me on a form and the police picked me up near our house. Now they are planning to keep me here locked up bcas they don't think I am capable of making treatment decisions and my family needs to be my substitute decision maker. This is in toronto canada btw and this is seriously messed up and murder.

Tomorrow there is going to be a meeting with the psychiatrist and the family. And I am so stressed out. I have some stuff to tell them but I dono how cuz I am humiliated.

So last night after two fights with my younger brother I took my stuff and was heading out when he stepped in front of me and said give me your keys. I said no, he said give it.. I said move. This went on for a bit and then he attacked me. He beat me and I beat him up. We were equal with him slightly edging me maybe then my father joined in and took my keys from my pocket. Then it went on and on cuz I couldn't let it go and then my mom and father stepped in and were saying this is not something a parent should see blah blah while actively twisting my arm from hitting him so it was 3 against one. Then when I brook free my brother pushed me from the top of the stairs outside of our house and I fell down 5-6 stair steps and hit a bike. They then all disappeared into the house.

This has devastated me and I am homeless and carrying this burden. Plus I have another major issue where I feel heavy and numb cuz something else happened back home and I addressed that but it got worse. So now I am trying to book a place 1 hour outside my city and hasn't gotten a response in 8 hours. Last night I slept in the rain and park. Should I stay out for a few days and then go back in when my strength is back and get my revenge and beat them all up? I know it sounds stupid but I can't just let this happen and going back there a second time will send a message that I dont wana let this go. They also threatening to put me in the hospital if I go there. My anger is mainly from my numbness though.

Imagine your younger brother who you don't talk to and have outstanding issues with and have been meaning to bring it up in front of the whole family but he has been physically aggressive/threatening in the past arguements. I could take him very well but I just don't to get in trouble with police cuz he wants that and he is a pos.

So imagine you go into the kitchen and there is a lot of tension and he does someting on purpose.. like you turn around and he jumps behind your back and moves behind your back very very close to you almost touching you that makes you worried that did he touch me? or not? He does this to get under my skin and threaten me at the same time cuz he is a sociopath psycho and can't deal with me fully so he has to resort to that type of behavior whenever he feels threatened.

So would you confront him about this and all other issues in front of everyone now or wait for therapist appointment in the coming days cuz today is my first consultation session with a therapist and I probably wouldn't be able to discuss this fully but in the coming days a full session I might. So what would you do?

Me and my younger brother don't get along and we don't talk. But there are outstanding issues like him cursing me outside of our house last month in english after I came down the stairs a little harder after an incident(we speak a different language at home)that I need to bring up in front of the whole family but the past few times we had arguements in front of the family has been physically threatening which is not like I can't take him, I can very well but it is not worth it.. he is a pos and wants me to get physically violent with him so he can call the police and get me in trouble. But it is a concern cuz he might try to charge at me or something and I cursed him out the last time but I am not sure what to do if it happens again other than to curse him out or get away or stand my ground which is a risk.

But he did something just now.. I was in the kitchen and as I turned around he jumped into my back. Like moved very quickly behind my back.. very very close to me. I am not sure if he touched me or not and I am worried he might have touched me cuz I am so paranoid around everyone and I might not have felt it. But I didn't feel it but I am still worried.

Now I am agitated feeling I have to confront him about this and other issues once and for all but I have a therapist appointment in a few hours and I don't want to make a mistake by confronting him and not be prepared fully. What to do? Should I confront him now or discuss with therapist?

I have a consultation session with a new therapist tomorrow and I am kinda worried it is not a right fit. She specializes in trauma and abuse(psychological and other forms) and she uses psychodynamic approach which includes compassion which is what I like. So that is why I picked her but I realized through her emails she apologiez too much and is kinda short. I am tall and kinda imposing and I feel if she doesn't absorb my energy and everything else it wouldn't be the right fit and as past therapists who couldn't handle me and started becoming tyrannical in their approach or were rude and interrupting.

I don't think that is what is gonna happen with this one, cuz she seems nice. But I just fear she is a little too short and so wouldn't be able to handle me. And I feel the prettier therapists handle me better. Yes that is true. Prettier therapists are kinder and less interrupting and less tyrannical and I don't feel totally exhausted/destroyed emotionally after the session. She is not pretty nor ugly just meh and she is in her late 40s/early 50s. So I am just a little worried that I am gonna have to email another therapist or look for another if this doesn't go well. And there are no good or pretty ones I can find in my city(toronto) to be honest.

OK this is troubling me. This happened more than two weeks ago but posting now cuz I have been trying but couldn't bcuz of stuff. Basically I was in a school park or whatever and walking and talking on my cell phone when I got hit really really hard from behind. I look behind and there is a chinese/asian kid with her bike on the ground and saying sorry. I kicked the bike a couple feet farther in rage and started cursing and swearing. I was in pain and shock. The kid's father is like half a mile away and running. He comes over and gives me a look and hugs his daughter... now 3 ... 13-14 yr old girls are by the girl's side too and making sure she is all right. Now I check and my big right toe is bleeding through the sock. I yell I am bleeding and curse and swear some more and they don't react or look back or anything. I walk a little farther and take off my sock and check and see that the nail is dark color and is bleeding. I walk back towards them and call the police. I tell the police I am chasing/following the daughter and father and they need to come. They are like yeah the police is on the way.. do you need ambulance? I am like no. They are like 'are you sure?' 'are you sure?' so I am like sure send one. [the rest in the pic - btw you can open the pics.. they are hosted on flickr which is part of yahoo so yah]

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4270/34936050632_186...

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4287/35060710716_069...

So yah I have a harassment charge against laid out. it is specifically a "criminal harassment case" and I've been bailed out but my first court date is on june 5. it is in toronto, canada btw.

basically what happened was I called a hypnotherapist and he turned out to be a total sleaze and a-hole and was diverting me and all kinds of deceitful. I have serious health issues so I got angry and left a couple phone messages after police told me not to contact him.

Should I take a letter from my psychiatrist mentioning my diagnosis? I've been diagnosed with psychosis(or schizophrenia) and depression.

I talked to legal aid(which is a free legal advice service in this province) and the lawyer was like just wait for the court date and then talk to the court lawyer so they can consult with the prosecutor or crown as it is called here if they need a letter at all.

The thing is I want to be tried under a mental health court and not a regular court. Cuz if I go through a mental health court, it will be better and I will get help(probably) instead of punishment. So yah.

The thing is I've been diagnosed with schizophreinia since 2010 and most of the time since then I have been under involuntary treatment etc. So I was thinking I should get a letter cuz that is the issue here.

Also should I mention my diagnosis in the letter? is that ok to do? also what should I put in the letter? what should the letter say?

I have been taking prazosin for the last 5 months+ for PTSD, although I have Complex PTSD but it helps with my horrendous emotional flashbacks a bit.

I noticed a few months ago that my hair is thinning so I started taking kelp and it became better but now when I take it it doesn't work.

I did a search and turns out prazosin leads to hair loss/thinning. I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday on the phone but she brushed it aside and she is insensitive and indifferent that way. I am afraid to change her bcas I think she might get angry and put me on involuntary treatment again or lock me up in a psych ward.

So my question is do you take prazosin(I take 4mg a day) and have you encountered hair loss/thinning?

OK I have Complex PTSD and I take prazosin for it... it helps me a bit but I have noticed my hair is thinning. And I searched and it does mention that hair loss is related to intake of prazosin. I searched and found out kelp helps stop hair loss/thinning.

I bought a pack of kelp kombu from the herbal store and grinded a couple leaves and sprinkled it over salad. I noticed after a few weeks that my hair was no longer thin.

I didn't take kelp again for the next 3-5 months or so and noticed that my hair is thinning again. So I grinded a couple leaves of kelp kombu again and sprinkled it over salad on Nov 11, 2016... didn't notice anything different and then took a couple leaves again grinded on slad on Dec 5 and still my hair is thin and weak.

Why did it stop working(or even if it worked in the first place?)

On the package it says 10/2015 ... but I thought kelp never expired. My kelp is kept in a ziplock bag and is still dry and crispy. Should I buy again and try?

Why did it stop working then?

Should a therapist cry at any point in a session? or if she sees the condition of the client and she cries?

Is that allowed? or is that a bad thing?

Let me know...

OK I called the customer service line of my cell phone company a few days ago and I got a filipino/asian girl on the line. I several times asked questions and she would give me a long answer but I couldn't understand her thick accent.

So finally I said not sure I understand that and said bye and ended the call. Later on they sent me a survey about the call and I gave them a low score.

Now they are calling me every day to talk about the low score. So tomorrow when they call me again what should I say... that I couldn't understand her accent or what?

So yah...

Ok I have a counselor. He is male, so am I. I talked about a problem I had last week and he listened to me and and gave me some solutions which didn't work apart from maybe one. But he wouldn't believe me that I would be affected so much by this problem.

He told me I am too sensitive which is true but I still would like to be believed that this problem affected my life the most and is making me have suicidal thoughts.

Someone told me if you have goals and you tell it to the wrong person, he might doubt me and that way I am infected with doubt and my faith is gone and so my goal is gone as well.

So my question is ... him doubting me that I can be affected by this problem so much... and so on.. should I talk to him about this problem next week or not? Cuz he keeps doubting me and that doesn't feel good.

Thanks for reading and suggestions.

So my doctor changed my medication last week and now I am taking Wellbutrin and Abilify.

Both of them have insomnia as a side effect listed.

I called my doctor's office and they said she is not in today and will be back monday.

On top of it they said to not discontinue the medication instead go to emergency.

What should I do?