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Conversation between me and his mother have been beyond strained. Since I've gotten custody, there haven't been hardly any supervised visits, 2 to 6 months in between. My son is in preschool and doesn't understand why he can't see his mom or her family. (There is drug use, domestic violence, and violent felonies. I am protecting my kid). I have been telling him that there are just some things she needs help with and is taking classes, once the classes are done then he will get to see her more.

I've been trying to talk to my ex about making more visits (she doesn't have to pay child support and would only be responsible for getting herself to and from visits). All my ex says is "it's hard" and gives excuse after excuse why she isn't able to make visits.

At this point phone calls and video chats are out because of the amount of lies (hurtful ones at that) that she filled his head with so she really does need supervision.

Do you have any suggestions on what to tell my son?

Do you have any suggestions on what to say to my ex to try and get her to cooperate and participate in our son's life? What do I do if she doesn't want to be a part of his life? What do I do if she says she wants to be part of his life but doesn't do anything to be in his life?

Thanks for reading and giving any advice you can.

Not lying about being pregnant. But the woman's body is producing all the symptoms and excess hormones that she would while being pregnant. Feeling false movement, no period, emotional, tender/sensitivity, weight gain, etc. The only thing missing is a fetus.

Anyone have this type of experience?

The father doesn't want to seem like he is coming off as only caring about money because that is not the case. The funds would be used to directly better the child. Clothing, school supplies, toys, activities, sports, etc. Bills are paid and the child's basic needs are fully cared for without it. Should the mother be financially contributing to ensure that the child has more than just the basics? Or should the father just focus on providing a good home without the biological mother's interference?

P.S. The mother is unable to provide a house/proper schooling/etc due to poor money management. She is employed and actually makes more than the father does. There is the suspicion that drug and alcohol abuse are where the funds are primarily going. The mother resides free of responsibility with her parents.

Is this morally/ethically wrong?

Is it wrong to lie to protect your child?

Background. My kid hasn't broken rules, hurt anyone, or gotten any other kids in trouble. I have created this fake character in order to see the type of environment and interactions he is around, participating in, and exposed to. My character does not interact with others. I use it for observation only so that I am prepared to handle the situations as they occur.

Since it is still a lie, is it morally/ethically wrong?

I view it as a parent looking out for her child but I'm not so sure any more. Fyi. I do have a legit character but was blocked out. I'm very concerned these people will have negative impacts on my kid. I am worried if I try to interfer to much that my kid will resent me and rebel and become even more attached. So I am trying to gently encourage other courses of action.

Note: it's not the program that's bad but some of the individuals.

Is it wrong to lie to protect your child?

Background. My kid hasn't broken rules, hurt anyone, or gotten any other kids in trouble. I have created this fake character in order to see the type of environment and interactions he is around, participating in, and exposed to. My character does not interact with others. I use it for observation only so that I am prepared to handle the situations as they occur.

Since it is still a lie, is it morally/ethically wrong? I view it as a parent looking out for her child but I'm not so sure any more.

Fyi. I do have a legit character but was blocked out. I'm very concerned these people will have negative impacts on my kid. I am worried if I try to interfer to much that my kid will resent me and rebel and become even more attached. So I am trying to gently encourage other courses of action.

My step-son's biological mother has only seen him once in the last 6 months (this was about when we were granted custody). There is quite a distance separating the biological mother and us (she moved not us). She can set up as many supervised visitations as she wants but she hasn't. We have received one email with a change in phone number.

Questions: what should I tell my son when she doesn't call or visit? We have been saying not today and I don't know, but that isn't going to last for much longer. We have been telling him that we know they love and miss him too. Is there things we should be doing to encourage her to contact our son? (we already have Skype set up, but bio-mom hasn't asked to use it).

P.s. I have been here since our son was a few months old (note she ended the relationship, not my husband. Our son is now 4 and a half) and I am his mother too. I do recognize and respect the importance of her position as his birth mother but my husband's and my concern has been to ensure our son is cared for in every aspect of his life and is safe. He wasn't safe or well cared for when he was in the biological mother's hands.

Please keep replies to constructive advice. Thank you!

(I've had some nasty replies over the years)

I'll try to keep this short.

Background:

My husband and I have been awarded sole custody of our son after 4+ years seeking it. The biological mother was proven to be unable to provide a stable environment (moving every couple months, live in bf's with violent felonies, drug usage, domestic violence with other individuals in the home, severe lack of hygiene and nutrition, lack of attention or affection).

I am NOT bashing the biological mother, this is what happened. I feel for her as she was/is a young woman without anyone to show her how to be a mom. But the bottom line is that it was hurting our son and we are able to provide for him so we have sole custody with her granted supervised visitations.

Since the change in custody early in 2013, The biological mother has only seen him once a few months ago. And emailed us once to give us a new number. She can set up as many visitations as she wants, we have even encouraged her to do so in the beginning.

My questions:

Should we be doing more to encourage contact between the biological mom and my son? We do have Skype set up but it hasn't been used yet. (she hasn't asked or set up a time for it. We don't even know if she has set up her end). What can we do to encourage more contact? What should I say to my son when she doesn't visit or call? We have been saying noncommittal things like not today, or we haven't heard yet, and I know they love/miss you too.

Thank you for reading and any advice.

P.s. Please no insulting replies. I want advice to move forward, not judgements on the past. You will just have to take my word that the judge made the right decision. I do not hate the biological mom, I just want what's best for our son. And that means ensuring positive relationships with all his family. Sorry, I've had a few nasty replies.

Me and my husband have received custody of my step-son after 3 and a half years in the legal system. My step-son is transitioning ok. But has been acting out a bit more then normal. Temper tantrums, inappropriate language (not learned from us), playing rough with his baby brother, etc.

Is there anything we should be doing other than being consistent with the rules and consequences?

Do you have any suggestions for discipline? We are using a red (really bad, about to be sent to bed), Yellow (warning, time-outs), and green (good, gets video games/cartoons/etc) cards. It works ok, but often won't motivate him for very long.

The second part is that it's been over a month and despite our best efforts we have not heard from the mother. No calls, txts, emails, facebook... Nothing. No visitations set up. We haven't heard anything.

My step-son was asking all the time about her and we just said not today, and we are waiting for her to call, things like that. Slowly the questions have stopped. Should I be concerned or just let it go? I'm worried about his being scar-ed by her leaving.

My husband even set up email and Skype so that they could talk easily since my step-son is so young. I'm confused why haven't heard anything. Not even anger.

Background: My step-son does not know a time I wasn't there. He has addressed me as mommy since before he was one. He just knew he had two mom's and that he came from her tummy not mine. The parents split before me and the father (my husband) met.

I have my doctors appointment Monday but till then can anyone tell me. Is rib pain normal during pregnancy. I can't stand to sit up right for very long. I have to be either laying down, walking, standing, or in some reclined positions in order to get the pain to stop. Any suggestions for alleviating the pain or what is causing it? I'm only 20 weeks pregnant and I've heard that pain from the uterous moving up usually doesn't start till well into your third trimester. (That is 8 weeks away, give or take) The ribs are tender to the touch, mainly on my right side but some on the left too. But there doesn't have to be any pressure at all and it is still VERY uncomfortable.

P.S. I am doing my best to go through the entire pregnancy without having any medication. Including Tylenol. I take my multivitamins, and my thyroid prescription and that's it. So home remedies are great. :)

My step-son is 2 1/2 yrs old. He still has a sippy cup all night. Some nights he will sleep the whole night through and not need a refill, other nights he might be up 2 or 3 times asking for more. I've been talking to my husband about starting to ween him off milk/juice and starting to just give him water at night but he doesn't think this is a good idea. I think once we get him on water only at night then it will be easier to put the cup on a table beside the bed and he can get a drink if he needs it instead of sleeping with it. Any suggestions?

This is not due to lube. It just feels like he is pushing through the front of my groin from the inside. It is right in between my pelvic bones. It's just a painful, stretchy, stabbing pain. We actually haven't been able to have active intercourse for several weeks now. We have tried but the pain is still there. Any suggestions?

P.s. I'm approx 15 weeks, beginning of 2nd trimester. It doesn't hurt if he stays VERY shallow, it's only during deeper penetration. My husband and I are very frustrated with the situation. I worry about disappointing him and he worries about hurting me and there just isn't any enjoyment.

Last month I was nearly 2 weeks late and when my period did show up it only last for four days and was VERY light. (I probably could have used just one tampon for all four days if I hadn't had to use the bathroom) This month I will be 3 weeks late on monday. I've been having some mild back pain and some depression (unusual). I don't think I am pms-ing because I usually have huge mood swings (laughter to bawling). These are just low moods. I have been having a few more head-aches all though I am not sure that is related. I've also been having some mild discomfort in my abdomen for the past few days, similar to period cramps but definitely not that intense, just a discomfort, not really a pain.

My stress level has been fairly high this month but honest my life is usually high stress and I am usually within a few days of when I expect my period. I don't think I've ever been over a week late before these last two months. (I've only recently been keeping track on a calendar).

If you have any suggestions or advice on what this might mean that would be great. If my period hasn't shown up by the time I cross week four I will make a doctors appointment to have them check it out. I'm just looking for possibilities at this point. :)

Thank you!

P.s. I've took 2 in home test (four days apart) last month and 1 hpt last week. All negetive, but I know some women get false negatives.

Last month I was nearly 2 weeks late and when my period did show up it only last for four days and was VERY light. (I probably could have used just one tampon for all four days if I hadn't had to use the bathroom) This month I will be 3 weeks late on monday. I've been having some mild back pain and some depression (unusual). I don't think I am pms-ing because I usually have huge mood swings (laughter to bawling). These are just low moods. I have been having a few more head-aches all though I am not sure that is related. My stress level has been fairly high this month but honest my life is usually high stress and I am usually within a few days of when I expect my period. I don't think I've ever been over a week late before these last two months. (I've only recently been keeping track on a calendar).

If you have any suggestions or advice on what this might mean that would be great. If my period hasn't shown up by the time I cross week four I will make a doctors appointment to have them check it out. I'm just looking for possibilities at this point. :)

Thank you!

P.s. I've took 2 in home test (four days apart) last month and 1 hpt last week. All negetive, but I know some women get false negatives.

My step son's mother fails to pick him up on the date/time specified in the custody order. We will then ask when she intends to pick up the child and she will say "i don't know". Even though we have asked for advanced notice before she picks him up, several days later we will get a text saying she is on her way to pick him up. Then we scramble to get home before she gets there so that she can pick up the child. She has custody of the child, we have visitation (for the time being). We love having the kid with us but hate that she seems to think she can just show up on any whim.

If we tell her that we aren't home and won't be home until ____ time. Would we face legal actions because the child wasn't available to her when she wanted him? He was available at the time specified in the court order and she failed to pick him up. We don't want to keep the child from her, just ensure that a mutually agreed upon date and time be set up before she shows up at our home expecting to get him.

Any suggestions?

P.s. we have sent an email to our lawyer but it could be a few days before we here back. Our lawyer is running for a public office and isn't in the office very often.

Yes it's a repeat question. I am hoping for a more legal standing response as opposed to personal opinions. Thank you!

Repeat question: hoping for a few more answers. Thank you!

My fiance has joint custody of his child, with him having visitation rights. At the moment the mother is failing to pick the child up at the designated time (or even on the designated day) for the end of each visitation period. Then several days later she will call/text saying she will be picking him up in 4 hours. ( 2 hours on one occasion). The drive is 4 hours one way so she is leaving her home to come and get him when she notifies us. We had no prior knowledge of her intention to pick him up that day, let alone what time. We have had to scramble to make sure that we were even home. Then she shows up anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half later than when she said she would be picking him up. With no notice that she is running late or even responding to texts/calls. She will text or call saying she is outside and we are to bring the kid out.

We love having the child and that is NOT a problem. What is a problem is her showing up unannounced expecting to pick the child up on a whim.

My question is: Do we have the legal rights to deny her the child if there is no mutually agreed upon time? We do NOT want to keep the child from the mother, only ensure that there is a definitive plan for when she will be picking the child up. We have had to call off work, cancel babysitters and plans, and basically bend over backwards to rush home so that the child is there when she says she will be there.

If we are not going to be home at the time she says she will be picking him up (and we let her know this) and she shows up anyway, will we face legal actions against us for not having the child there?

Obviously if we are able to be home and have the child ready at the time she says, then he will be and it's easy as pie, but if we have plans and won't be home, then do we have to drop everything to be home?

Note: She never gives even the slightest estimate (tomorrow, next weekend, nothing) when she will be picking up. He has been picked up anywhere from the next morning (with 2 hour notice) to the next week (4 hours notice: the most notice we have gotten)

50 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.

Additional Details

The joint custody agreement out lines exact dates and times for visitation. She just doesn't show up on time (or even that day) to pick the kid up. We have asked when she plans on picking up but all we get is an "i don't know". Then (even though we have asked for advanced notice) on a random day we will get a text saying she will be here in 2 hours or 4 hours or whatever she specifies. Then she shows up an hour and a half later...

My fiance has joint custody of his child, with him having visitation rights. At the moment the mother is failing to pick the child up at the designated time (or even on the designated day) for the end of each visitation period. Then several days later she will call/text saying she will be picking him up in 4 hours. ( 2 hours on one occasion). The drive is 4 hours one way so she is leaving her home to come and get him when she notifies us. We had no prior knowledge of her intention to pick him up that day, let alone what time. We have had to scramble to make sure that we were even home. Then she shows up anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half later than when she said she would be picking him up. With no notice that she is running late or even responding to texts/calls. She will text or call saying she is outside and we are to bring the kid out.

We love having the child and that is NOT a problem. What is a problem is her showing up unannounced expecting to pick the child up on a whim.

My question is: Do we have the legal rights to deny her the child if there is no mutually agreed upon time? We do NOT want to keep the child from the mother, only ensure that there is a definitive plan for when she will be picking the child up. We have had to call off work, cancel babysitters and plans, and basically bend over backwards to rush home so that the child is there when she says she will be there.

If we are not going to be home at the time she says she will be picking him up (and we let her know this) and she shows up anyway, will we face legal actions against us for not having the child there?

Obviously if we are able to be home and have the child ready at the time she says, then he will be and it's easy as pie, but if we have plans and won't be home, then do we have to drop everything to be home?

Note: She never gives even the slightest estimate (tomorrow, next weekend, nothing) when she will be picking up. He has been picked up anywhere from the next morning (with 2 hour notice) to the next week (4 hours notice: the most notice we have gotten)

Courtesy and whats appropriate when deal with visitation exchanges.

The way visitation is set up is that we (the father) are responsible for the transportation at the beginning of our visitation weekend. She (the mothers) is responsible for the transportation to get him back at the end of the weekend. The court order specifies the times and days each exchange is to take place.

This is a fairly new arrangement in the court order and there have only been 2 visitations using this method. The first time, we got a call about an hour before the end of visitation pick up, with her saying she wasn't going to make it. We said ok and to let us know when she would be picking him up. Just shy of a week later, we get a text saying she "is leaving" to pick the kid up (about 4-5 hour notice/drive). The second time we get a text 3 hours before the end of visitation pick up again saying she won't be making it to get the kid. We say ok and to let us know when she would be picking him up. The next morning we get a text saying the she will be here in 2 hours. Now bare in mind that since the visitation ended on a specific day, the father and I made the necessary arrangements with daycare, college courses, and work to ensure that someone would be available for the next week to watch the kid. And that had our babysitter not canceled on us, no one would have been home and she would have no way to contact us for quite a while. She very well could have drove all the way here (like I said 4-5 hours one way) only to find us not home.

Would it be unreasonable to ask for 24 hour notice of when she intends to pick the child up? If we were to cancel with a day care facility the night before I would still be charged for that day whether the child was their or not. If 24 hours is to much notice, what would be a reasonable time frame? Also, instead of planning to pick him up during times of the day when people would normally be home, before 8am and after 5pm, this woman made plans to pick him up smack dab in the middle of the day, when most people are at work and classes, and then proceeded to be over an hour and a half late both times.

I would greatly appreciate honest opinions. Please no harsh remarks, you will just have to take my word for it that this woman is our to hurt my fiance and she doesn't care if the child gets hurt along the way.

How long do we have to wait before it is considered abandonment, neglect, or desertion?

My fiance and his ex have a joint custody agreement in place. She has physical/primary custody. My fiance has visitation rights and an equal say in education/medical and all other major decisions concerning their 2 year old. We had the child for our visitation weekend and at the end of the weekend the mother notified us that she would be unable to come and get the kid. It is a VERY long drive. (several hours one way). This is the first time she has been required to provide half of the transportation. The ex says she will try to get him next weekend. (we have our strong doubts). My question is how long do we wait before it would be considered abandonment, desertion, or neglect and we can seek full custody? The ex has been less than cooperative concerning visitation times, transportation, and so forth (to put it mildly).

As far as I can tell online, this might be a unique case where the parent with custody doesn't want to have the child and left the kid with the other parent. If this is the case we will gladly take full custody, the kid is adorable and we love him with all our heart, but we don't want to seek full custody and be reprimanded by the judge. We would rather take what we can get with the current order than risk not being allowed to see our baby at all.

Any advice or answers would be great. Thanks!

How long do we have to wait before it is considered abandonment, neglect, or desertion?

My fiance and his ex have a joint custody agreement in place. She has physical/primary custody. My fiance has visitation rights and an equal say in education/medical and all other major decisions concerning their 2 year old. We had the child for our visitation weekend and at the end of the weekend the mother notified us that she would be unable to come and get the kid. It is a VERY long drive. (several hours one way). This is the first time she has been required to provide half of the transportation. The ex says she will try to get him next weekend. (we have our strong doubts). My question is how long do we wait before it would be considered abandonment, desertion, or neglect and we can seek full custody? The ex has been less than cooperative concerning visitation times, transportation, and so forth (to put it mildly).

As far as I can tell online, this might be a unique case where the parent with custody doesn't want to have the child and left the kid with the other parent. If this is the case we will gladly take full custody, the kid is adorable and we love him with all our heart, but we don't want to seek full custody and be reprimanded by the judge. We would rather take what we can get with the current order than risk not being allowed to see our baby at all.

Any advice or answers would be great. Thanks!

What are you supposed to do if you know a parent is failing to enroll their child in school? The kid is 13 has not been enrolled in ANY school (public, private, home schooling) for over a year. Who am I to contact to report this and what consequences will their be for the parents?

The family has been moving around from town to town every couple of months. The kid was supposed to get enrolled in home schooling over 6 months ago but the parent hasn't paid for the books or even the enrollment. Now he was supposed to register for public school about a month ago in the town they are currently at but that hasn't happened either. I don't know what to do, but I know I should do something to stop this. He is like a brother to me and I can't just let this ruin his life. He is going to get so far behind in school that it will take forever for him to graduate. He was supposed to be in 8th grade this year but when they were talking about getting him in public school he was going to have to start in 7th. If he waits another year or two (heaven forbid) he will be even farther behind. Pushing 20+ when he graduates high school. Ouch! How can I help him?