Louis

So, I'm writing a novel that I'm titling The Summer of a Lifetime at this time. I might change the title up after it's finished. Anyway, basically we have the MC; Louis James Chamberlain and his mum leaving town after his secret has came out into the open. However, whilst he is driving they are in a car accident that kills his mum and leaves him in a coma. (Prologue.)

The story is entirely in his head. Whilst in his coma, he has a dream that he's going on a road trip with a few of his friends. They're pretty much just driving all over the US of A, partying, and without any worries. Oh, did I mention that Louis' gay? Yeah, that might be kind of important. ;)

Anyways, they get back from the road trip. In the epilogue, Louis wakes up and realizes that it was all just in his head. And the people he met along the way are actually patients, doctors, and nurses at the hospital.

And in book two; which I'm titling Once Upon a Dream, he discovers that his "dream" comes true; and the dreams he keeps having outside of the coma? Yeah, those are coming true anyway.

Sorry for the sucky summaries, but I really don't want to give that much away!

Here's the prologue of book one:

I couldn't help but smile. When I discovered that we were moving, I left relieved. My lips had curved upwards and parted, exposing perfect white teeth and dimples. It had been months since I've smiled; months since my secret had came out. And I could finally get away from the points, the glares, the whispers, and the cruelness that was McElliot High.

"Come on!" Mum shouted from down the stairs.

I took one last look around my almost empty room; there was only me and my black bag left. I sighed in relief. Everything would be okay as soon as we got n the road and left this town in the rear-view mirror. Grabbing my bag from the floor, I walked out the door and didn't look back.

Bounding down the stairs, for the last time, I saw Mum's face, and my smile instantly dropped.

"Mum?"

"Let's just go, Louis."

I gulped and looked at her tear stained face. Why had she been crying? I reached out to hug her, but she slapped my hands away. I sighed and carefully extracted the keys from her pocket.

"I'm driving today."

I was worried when she didn't even object, just walked out the door, leaving it open for me. Jesus, maybe I shouldn't drive either.

The door slammed shut behind me and I worked my way over to the car. A fresh start. It was exactly what I needed, but what about Mum?

No, Louis, don't think about that, or nobody will be able to drive off into the closing of a horrible chapter.

I got into the car, put the keys in the ignition, and looked over in time to see Mum break into a fresh wave of tears.

"Mum? You're leaking. Please stop?"

Apparently, that wasn't the right thing to say.

"Mum? What do I do? You know I'm bad with tears."

"Drive," she spat out.

And, drive I did.

I don't know what I was expectly, but not even one person waving goodbye? Not even the people that were my friends before everything came out? That hurt.

I had to blink away tears, but I managed to drive that damned car. Mum was crying, the radio was playing some One Direction song, and I had never felt more alone.

"Louis!" Mum shouted.

"Wh-?"

I never got the chance to finish the word. There was a crashing sound, extreme pain, and then nothing.

(P.S? Comments and critiques are welcome! In fact, begged for! Why else would I be asking this question! :O Please and thank you muchly!)

I'd like to start wish saying this is only my second time writing in first person! Next, I'd like to say, I think I might like this first person thing, after all. With that said, read it over & tell me what's good, & what needs fixed? Please & thankies!

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I couldn't help but smile. When I discovered that we were moving, I left relieved. My lips had curved upwards and parted, exposing perfect white teeth and dimples. It had been months since I've smiled; months since my secret had came out. And I could finally get away from the points, the glares, the whispers, and the cruelness that was McElliot High.

"Come on!" Mum shouted from down the stairs.

I took one last look around my almost empty room; there was only me and my black bag left. I sighed in relief. Everything would be okay as soon as we got n the road and left this town in the rear-view mirror. Grabbing my bag from the floor, I walked out the door and didn't look back.

Bounding down the stairs, for the last time, I saw Mum's face, and my smile instantly dropped.

"Mum?"

"Let's just go, Louis."

I gulped and looked at her tear stained face. Why had she been crying? I reached out to hug her, but she slapped my hands away. I sighed and carefully extracted the keys from her pocket.

"I'm driving today."

I was worried when she didn't even object, just walked out the door, leaving it open for me. Jesus, maybe I shouldn't drive either.

The door slammed shut behind me and I worked my way over to the car. A fresh start. It was exactly what I needed, but what about Mum?

No, Louis, don't think about that, or nobody will be able to drive off into the closing of a horrible chapter.

I got into the car, put the keys in the ignition, and looked over in time to see Mum break into a fresh wave of tears.

"Mum? You're leaking. Please stop?"

Apparently, that wasn't the right thing to say.

"Mum? What do I do? You know I'm bad with tears."

"Drive," she spat out.

And, drive I did.

I don't know what I was expectly, but not even one person waving goodbye? Not even the people that were my friends before everything came out? That hurt.

I had to blink away tears, but I managed to drive that damned car. Mum was crying, the radio was playing some One Direction song, and I had never felt more alone.

"Louis!" Mum shouted.

"Wh-?"

I never got the chance to finish the word. There was a crashing sound, extreme pain, and then nothing.

Louis was doing what he did best; running away. His Toms were pounding against the hard asphalt of his least favourite running route. He called this the Run of Shame, and for good reason.

The only time the poor young teen ran this way was when he was trying to get away from his father. William would just never understand that Louis just wasn’t physically capable of doing some of the crap he was asked to do; and beating him really wouldn’t help.

When he finally reached his destination, it had just begun to rain. He groaned and pounded on the door, hoping Brennin would be home. He was shivering in his grey sweats and black hoodie when the door finally opened.

“Can I come in?” Louis asked softly, looking at his feet.

“I dunno, can you?” Brennin asked with a smirk?

“May I?” Louis asked, blinking rapidly.

“Comon in, Kiddo.”

The older male’s smile fell from his face as he stepped to the side. Louis stepped into his sanctuary and closed the door behind him

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

“What did William do to you this time?”

“I think it’s gonna bruise real bad.”

“Take off your jacket.”

“W-what? No!”

“Don’t make me take it off for you.”

Louis gulped and took a deep breath before doing as he was told. He dropped his hoodie to the ground with an audible thunk, and Brennin gasped. He gently reached out and lightly traced his finger tips over the new cuts and bruises. Louis flinched at the contact, but the cold fingers were actually soothing after he got past the initial pain.

“You are staying here with me tonight.” Brennin said.

He left no room for argument in his tone of voice. The younger of the two looked up and smiled sheepishly.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”