Katrina G

I have a few issues with my long term boyfriend who I live with. There was an issue a month ago when I found he had sent a few sexts to his ex. He denies he slept with her whilst with me and has cut all contact.

The problem is that I am still not convinced that he didn't cheat, particularly since the sheer number of texts to her on his phone bill don't add up with 'nothing happened'. However, that is just background and I have come to terms with not knowing whether he is telling the truth and we are working through it.

The problem is that whilst I am trying to trust him again I do check up on him (I know I shouldn't but can't stop). I checked his laptop yesterday (he doesn't know) and found pictures of me and a vast amount of porn images on it. I told him at lunch that I want to delete the pics of me and he said they are not on his laptop and when I told him he was lying he showed me the picture folder and they were not there - he must have rushed home after work to move them. I checked again this morning and he had hidden the pictures of me in a subfolder (they are now deleted) and hid the porn in the recycling bin.

When I looked there were nearly 6,000 images in the folder and a lot of them seem to have been downloaded whilst we have been together. I wouldn't have a problem with him looking at porn (although I don't get it and it does make me feel a bit inadequate), but I brought up porn and he said that he looked at it when single but has not looked at any since we have been together, even when I pressed him on it a few times.

He doesn't know that I have looked on his laptop or that I have deleted the images yet. I just don't know how to broach this - both whether he has some porn addiction and his lying to me about my picture.

Any advice?

I know this may not sound like cheating to everyone, but it is to me.

Basically I have recently found out that my boyfriend ex has been texting him begging him for sex for months whilst we have been together and he says he has been saying no. However, my intuition kicked in and I checked him messages with his ex (it's not something I have ever done before and never thought I would so don't know what possessed me to) and found that whilst I was on holiday the week before he has been sexting with his ex very graphically and they were arranging to meet up for sex before I got back.

I was distraught and only read those messages that happened on one day so don't know if there were more and he has since deleted her so I can't check. He has promised me it was just those few messages and he wouldn't have gone through with anything and I spoke to her and she said it was just those few too.

That's basically the background and after a lot of heartbreak, I agreed to give him another chance as he knows he made a stupid mistake and says he will never do it again and can't live without me.

I love him and agreed to try again, but I am really struggling. He gets so upset that I'm upset that I am trying to hide it from him which I know is stupid. I'm okay when we are together (although he has to tell me who it is everytime his phone goes) and he lets me check his phone any time I like. The problem is that when we are apart I am getting paranoid and worrying about who he is texting, whether there are others, what he is doing etc.

I feel like I am going crazy. I'm sure I'm not the only person to have gone through this and I want to work on our relationship, but it's a struggle. How did you manage and how long did it take for the paranoia to fade?

Thank you.

It is my birthday in two months and my boyfriend is annoying dropping hints on my birthday present.

We've only been together 3 1/2 months, but are serious and are moving in together next month (I have to declutter first!) and have already talked about our future and children. He has made it clear that he is planning to marry me and have children down the line which is great.

My issue is that he has said that he needs my help to pick my present when we go away just after my birthday as "I may say no and I don't want it" and that it is something he thinks I want but that I might not know I want but that I will be really pleased with it. He has said part of the reason I have to help pick is that "it comes in different shapes and sizes" and he wants to get me one I want.

Now there is only one thing going through my head and that is engagement ring. Does that sound right or do you think I'm getting the wrong end of the stick?

Help me!!

I am really stuck and need some help as I hate surprises!

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months and we are planning on moving in together. We have also been talking children (but long term and post-marriage). My birthday is in two months and my boyfriend has started dropping hints about my present but won't tell me what it is!!

He has said:-

1. He wants me to help pick it as it comes in lots of shapes and sizes.

2. He thinks I'm going to be really pleased with it, but wants my input in case I say no and don't want it.

3. He says that I may not know I want it yet but he thinks I does.

What do you think it is?

I think my big problem is I'm stuck on it being one thing and that if it isn't I'm going to be really disappointed and ruin it for him, so need some other ideas to fixate on!!

I am trying to decide whether to move in with my boyfriend and just need some impartial advice!

We are both in our 30s and own our own homes, so at the moment we are paying out two lots of mortgage and bills. We have only been together for 3 months, which I know seems very quick, but I am pretty much living in his house anyway (I tend to spend 2 nights a week at my house) and we have already discussed our future in depth.

I do want to live with him and he has said many times that he wants me to move in with him too. My concern is I know he is struggling at the moment with the bills etc on his own at present and having two incomes (I'd rent my place out) would solve that, but I'm worried that that is clouding my judgment and I am rushing it (as much as I want to live with him).

What do you think?

I have been with my boyfriend for two months now but am really concerned about this. Before you say talk to him about it, I have tried but I just want to know whether I am blowing this all out of proportion.

My boyfriend was with his ex fance for 2-3 years and broke up with her about 6 months before we got together. Somehow it came up in conversation about the ex and he told me that she is still texting him. Up to last weekend, she text him to say that she still wants to get back together and when he told her he was with me she basically asked about me and told him to break up with me.

He hasn't, but I then asked how often she texts him and he said that she will text him several times over a couple days and then not text him for a few days and so on. I asked if she has been doing this since they broke up and he said yes. I said that given we have been spending most evenings together that means she has been texting him and he has been replying whilst we have been together and he said that he doesn't text her whilst 'I'm in the room'.

He said that he doesn't want to get back with her and is happy with me, but he still feels guilty about ruining her life and hurting her by calling off the engagement and breaking up with her. He is a very sweet guy who would take it to heart so I do believe him. He did say he will only reply to her the once to be polite and not respond to the rest.

I am feeling really hurt by this (I am quite insecure about us anyway as I have low self-esteem and know he could do better) and threatened by the ex, especially since she wants us to break up and he has been texting her whilst we are together (even if he is walking out of the room to do it).

I do love him, but am not sure what to do. Am I being paranoid and should just let it drop or should I be worried?

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a month now (we are in our late 20s/early 30s) and it has been going really well up until this week. He has been quite distant this week and has said it is because of the heat and that he is busy at work. I also stupidly and accidentally told him that I love him (which is true but it just slipped out without me meaning to tell him as it is still way too early) and he said he was flattered and that it was really sweet.

However, since just before that and in the last few days he has been really distant and is not texting me as much as you usually does. I also asked him if he has any plans for the weekend and he said he's not sure and that he hopes I have a good weekend, which is odd especially since we usually spend most of the weekend together.

I do have a habit of overthinking and it may all be in my head, but I am getting that sick feeling in my stomach that there is something going on. Any advice?

I have booked an overnight stay at the Grand Canyon West ranch with helicopter flights there and back with Heli USA. Has anyone else done this trip? What sort of time did you get back to Vegas? - We only really have the second day to look around Vegas so need an idea so I can plan the best use of the day.

Thanks