Lilac Rose

I got engaged back in Dec 2007 with a wedding date set for Sept 2007 and my MIL asked me if her daughter could be a part of the wedding entourage (bridesmaid). Since she and my fiance grew up together and were close, I didn't see why not, so I went and asked her and she said okay. My MIL told me to make sure the length is long and it is strapped vs. strapless. So I took that into consideration.

Around June, 4 months before the wedding, my MOH and I started shopping for the Bmaid dresses. My sisters (2) and my MOH wanted strapless and tea length. I told them no because I have to consider my SIL. She was like a size 10 or 12 and I had to think about her to make sure she's comfy with what I'm planning as a Bmaid dress. When my MOH and I found the look, I was happy with it. The only problem was the back exposure, but I think it could be remedied with a sash or jacket.

FYI : My fiance and I lived with her and her bf in the same townhouse.

Saturday morning, I showed my SIL the dress. Then explained to her that she can cover it up with sash or jacket. She said she'll look at it. Well, the same night, I saw my fiance and the paper I showed his sister earlier. I asked if there was anything wrong. My fiance said that SIL wants to back out. I was like WTH!?!?!

First of all, She told my fiance, she did not tell me DIRECTLY. To me, that's just RUDE. Second of all, she gave no reason for backing out. Could it be the dress, then that is ridiculous. It's my wedding, so I should be able to tell how I want my bmaid to look like! and THIRD, I have 3 Bridesmaid, 1 MOH, 1 Best Man and 3 Groomsman. My fiance had the gall to tell me that he can kick one of the groomsman out so it's evened. I was like that's disrespectful. You just asked a person to be part of it and now you want him to drop because the bridal party is uneven? I REFUSED to do that. Instead I asked my cousin to take her place and luckily she did.

Thank god we were in the middle of production of the program that I had to halt it and find a replacement. I'm very lucky that my cousin was able to step in and take her place. I considered their dress and thought about going strapless and tea length like they wanted, but I didn't want to give my SIL the satisfaction that I changed it FOR HER.

SO since that incident, I've ignored her and totally make her look like she's invisible in any presence. IF she's eating with us, I would just pretend I don't see her or just eat up fast and walk away from the table. I stopped sharing with her my wedding plans and all that. It's like she's nothing to me.

A month after the wedding, my fiance and I moved out of the TH and moved into a house. Since then I have no reason to pretend anymore since she's not around the house anyways.

Now here's my question: She got engaged a month after my wedding. Her wedding is set for OCT 2008. Should I even bother coming to her wedding? My friend's birthday is on the same day as her wedding, and I seriously considered bailing the wedding in favor of the birthday, but that is my husband's sister, and he wanted me to be there because half of his family that did not attend our wedding will be at her wedding and it's an opportunity for them to meet me as his wife. I don't have any desire to talk or repair the relationship since what she did is something I would NEVER ever do to anyone if they ask me to be their bridesmaid.

What do you think?