Tammy O

For three years I have been friends or the more appropriate statement I have been his friend, I have taken care of him since his divorce because honestly he just couldnt I knew what I wanted from the very beginning a friendship where I was at least respected. Recently after having a series of unfortunate things happen to me I needed him to be there for me and he just couldnt do it, and even still had to make a statement like For the first time I tell the truth......what does this say to you? I know what I feel...I feel that after all of this he was never my friend and because of this I withdrew from this whole situation suddenly. Now I have tried in the past to walk away but the emails the text the whole blowing up the cell phone and even drive bys have one way or another gotten me to forgive and forget but this time it seems pointless. So my real question is I know that all of this behavior is going to start again real soon and I would like to know how would you handle what is about to happen next to ensure that the vicious circle does not happen again?

I want out of a different kind of relationship(with benefits) the only problem I face is we live in the same small town so how do I make him leave me alone with the least amount drama possible ie he likes to text me call and blow up my phone fill my voicemail and then when this doesnt work finds me in different places on the internet even though I have attempted to block him each and every time but he dont get it. Want least possible amount of drama from the downfall any suggestion on how to make this happen please only helpful answers

Is there a way to modify behavioral patterns or are we doomed to repaeat cycles of behavior that are bad for us? Ex: A woman 33 years of age who has been seeing a 51 year old man and over time the 33 year old has stopped making plans with others due to the fact she waits for him to have time for her. Is this a pattern that can be altered before it is repeated?

recently I found out that mother has breast cancer and myself had an abnormal pap test that I just went and had cancer screening for myself, my results wont be in for almost two weeks and with my mothers upcoming surgery I was wondering on how to cope with all of this at one time I really have no one to turn to at this moment and any helpful information would be greatly appreciated

I have been in and out of a semi relationship where pretty much I do for him but when I need something he cannot seem to be willing to help me. Now I know that I am going to get alot of people saying mean things but I am really struggling with the fact that I know I am weak and just looking for advice on what I can do just to stay away from him, I know deep down I keep going back because I do genuinly love him in some form of the word but now I need to move foward and am not quite sure on how to do this without regressing into the person he tends to make me be. How do you make yourself strong enough to let go and stay gone? Any help would be greatly appreciated

I have a friend who recently seperated from her husband of 11 years and the man that she has been seeing has been divorced for a little over a year. Recently she came to me and asked a question that I have no answer for so any help would be appreciated. The question is what would you do if after only being seperated for a short period of time this guy states that he may be ready to stop playing the game and be ready for a relationship? It freaked her right out and knowing that he has been what I call a manwhore she wonders on how to process the information that has been given and honestly how to interpret it and I cannot find the answer so anyone out there with some advice on how to help my friend would be greatly appreciated

What would you do if someone you thought cared but turned out to be the biggest egomaniac and after doing everything and getting nothing in return you decide to move foward and they decide differently for you and fight like a five year old would? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

I have had one knock after another and knowing that I am a strong individual I know that I will eventually get back to a place that is better but while the transitional period how do I find a main focus and take it one day at a time

How many times do you think that it is acceptable to try at something before you should just concede to the fact that you failed and give up?

My very best friend in the world has been in my life for 18 years. We were what everyone called high school sweethearts even though we kept it platonic. We lost touch the first time for 5 years, where I already had a marriage and an impending divorce, reached out to him and we become close again, except when I was going threw my divorce he was getting ready to marry his first wife. Not a big deal only that whenever they would fight it would be over me, with no prevocation and no cause, never been there never would, finally it got to a point where to save his marriage they moved to the other side of the US. I told him when he left that I would not find him again if he needed me it was his turn. So a year and a half go by and he contacted me the only problem was that I was married this time now fast foward 3 years and we seem to find ourselves in the opposite again me single him moving in with someone. Now he seems to have a problem with talking to me about issues his way is by phone the first time and by text this last time, the only question that I have is, is it wrong for me to have a little time to process before he says something like "what hear what you didnt want to hear". Now I love this man dearly and I have no issue with him being happy but he just makes me feel like he doesnt understand when it takes longer for me to accept the fact I know he will soon be gone again. What do I do to make this better I dont want to lose him again for longer this time

recently I had to kick my husband out due to that he hurt me very badly by breaking my heart I am now a single mother trying to find my way in this complicated world, on top of that I am trying to find a job to supplement by part time income, now this isnt really the issue the issue is my daughter (14 years old) is having a hard time dealing with the sudden changes at home, she recently started her freshman year of High School and already has been kicked out of school for reasons that I cannot grasp (I know a teenager trying to find her way I understand this) and on top of that I seemed to over the years fill my life with needy friends, they have their amount of problems this I understand but one is in the middle of her own mid life crisis and I just cant seem to get the help that I need from her. Then on top of this I have another friend whom when he was going threw his seperation and divorce I took the time to help him threw it and now I am on the opposite side and he just dont know how to help me. Dont get me wrong I do still love my friends but these two are at this time my closest friends but they are constantly calling me and asking me for advice or gripping about their problems so my question would be how do I nicely tell them that I now need their support without seeming to needy myself?

my second husband and I have been married for six years but been together for 11 recently he made a decision that not only effected me but also the child that he has helped me raise. I could no longer live with the consequences of his actions and had no other choice then to kick him out, I know that we can never be together in this capacity ever again. I still love him and always will but my question is how long before the hurt goes away. We have agreed to be friends for ourselves and the sake of our daughter but i know that I can no longer call or see him anymore like I used to and this leaves me with a void that seems to be getter bigger and I dont know how to stop. I do have some really good friends that are trying to help me when it comes to my emotions but I dont want to feel like a burden to them either. So any one out there who has ever felt like this how did you make yourself feel better?

recently the long term relationship that I have been in ended suddenly due to the fact that for the second time in 11 years he was caught drinking and driving but this time had caused an accident. The same night I decided after carefully assessing the situation and came to realize that I could no longer have him stay and allow myself to be the band-aid, now for the last 11 years he has helped me raise my daughter from my first marriage and they love each other dearly, I have no plans to keep them apart but I guess my question is really how do I not feel so scared to do this on my own. It is going to take awhile due to the fact I am now facing having to give a two week notice to the woman that I have been babysitting for now for 3 years and go out into the workforce again which I know that I will find that job, I just dont want my daughter to see me scared on not knowing exactly what to do so if there is anyone who has been threw this or just has some advice on how to accomplish this it would be greatly appreciated

I have had a relationship with a man who was only suppose to be a friend with benefits and now he is acting differently I just want to be able to break away but heres the clincher he lives within the same town as I do how do I do this so that he just leaves me alone and telling him just dont work.

I have been friends with a man, considerably older, I have never expected anything from him but to spend some time with me, which when he has it he spends it with me. Over the last two years I have helped him through his divorce and three different residencies that I myself have made into homes for him. I know that he has other women, this really does not bother me, I encourage it. What I cannot seem to wrap my mind around is that in the past two years when things get to a point that I know I cant handle i.e his behavior of pushing me away, saying things in a rude manner or his behavior peaks to a point that I just dont want to deal, I walk away. Now I have done this at least 4 times and the most recent was 2 weeks ago. On this particular episode I was just on the verge of breaking down and all I needed was a friend to sit with me until I calmed down and what happened was instead of him helping he made it about him. I threw his key at him and told him that he would never be able to help me as I have helped him, held my head up high and walked out of his house, never once looking back. I was so low at this point that I decided to go onto a personal dating service just for attention(bad I know) but about 4 days into my new quest I received a text message from him asking me why I was on it. I did not answer. He called. Did not answer. Two days later ran into him at a stop light and he called. Did not answer so he kept calling so I answered and he starting talking to me like nothing had happened. He told me that he wanted to see me so that we could at least talk. When I met him at his house he stood there and told me that he did not want to lose me as his friend that he missed me. Then 2 days later he asked me to take my key back. Since then the last 9 days have been different he has asked me to come up and have coffee 3 mornings in a row this week and even though his scheadule is tight this weekend he still says that he wants to make time for me. I am confused on what to think about this and suggestions?

I have had a friend that for the most part has tried to get away with the little white lies but recently saw with my own eyes that they lied and this time it was hurtful should this be tolerated or is it time to let this friend go?