Itati

Due to recent protests regarding police brutality in the U.S., I feel as though I have more responsibility to "support my people". However, I feel guilty because I do not want to. Most local businesses owned by African Americans are located in ghetto neighborhoods, or the service is lacking, or the prices for products/services are WAY TOO HIGH (just because the business is run by blacks). I have always supported local businesses I genuinely liked, not because I pitied them for their racial/ethnic background but because they had good products and services. Am I being selfish because I do not want to support local black businesses? I support three as of right now (a beauty parlor and 2 small restaurants) but they are all run by Caribbean blacks and not African Americans. I don't know if that makes a difference but I kind of feel like this whole thing is ridiculous. I don't know. Let me know how you feel :)

Do good people exist? What defines or measures how good one is? Do we not all have different standards as to what constitutes "righteousness" or "moral behavior"? If so, then is it impossible to really identify as a good person when your "goodness" varies depending on who you meet? 

I am 5'7 and a half; a month ago, I weighed 145 pounds. right now, I weigh 133 pounds because I have been restricting calories and fasting for at least 20 hours a day. My Pinterest is filled with pictures of super skinny girls; this motivates me to continue dieting. I consume 600-900 calories a day, and I do not work out but I walk about 7 miles daily. I feel so light headed, tired, and irritable. My stomach does not ache from hunger but at night, I crave carbs like bagels with cream-cheese, or pasta. I count my calories and I think about eating or losing weight CONSTANTLY. I do not think this is sustainable which is why I feel like giving up after maintaining this diet for a month.. but I don't want to develop an eating disorder.. someone tell me if this is just a regular diet I am overthinking or if I am developing an eating disorder.