Equal Animal

People tell me he's made of wood but how does he swim if he's wooden?

people tell me time speeds up when you get to 25.

Does that mean there is less hours in the day?

I am off to brush my teeth, how long do you think it will take?

I used to have a cat that was fluent in Portuguese.

i put the chocolate powder in the cup, then fill the cup with hot water but then there's never any room for milk. I like milk and want to have it too but how?

Last week i bought some turntables but when i put a cd on them the needle keeps scratching across them.

What do i do?

Last week she kept shouting at me and then threw a board rubber at me.

Does this mean she fancies me.

Shall i make a move?

If a saucepan on your head will block out intergalactic messages from aliens, will a cooking pot work twice as good?

Next week is my driving test. Should i impress the examiner by driving as fast as i can down the motorway blindfolded?

Show him what i really can do.

Each time my food is ready my microwave makes a "PING" noise, is he trying to tell me something.,

Is he trying to communicate?

Last week i went to the wrong school by accident and handed in my homework, now it's really late and i still haven't got it back.

What should i do?

I bought a goldfish in a shop but when i got back i saw it was orange. Shall i take it back?

I saw Rain Man and Mission Impossible and Tom Cruise wasn't called Tom in either of them. ???

They are much closer to the sun, they could get a real good tan up there.

Are you lucky enough to have someone do it or do you live in the real world?

I saw it yesterday in IMAX and thought it was the best cinema experience ever.

Am i alone on this?

In your whole life, do you think you will ever be in jail?

Are people scared of you because of your pet?

Is it super cool to wear sunglasses indoors?

Is it cool to dress your pets in crazy clothes?