Bobbi

Two girls came up to me and had a go at me saying the both are not happy how i accused them both as bullies and that now the both have to go to meetings for it only later to find out that they both lied and caused allot of drama from it there was no meeting about this it was all a lie to tear me appart and its got to me :( am afraid i will show it i want to stand up to them alone they went around saying horrible rumous about me which am not happy about saying i slept around with few people which is sick it can ruin a relationship as the people they mentioned have a wife and children they are not true i feel sick i cant trust anyone i found out all the people i trusted lied to me and turned agaisnt me over something so silly and little as the both liking theses two guys who happen to like me when i dont even like either of them its such childish behaviour to have as a suport worker i feel like am in high school again i cant get my head around it i try to be strong but i feel like am about to break the more they keep on lying and laughing about it. Ones on allot of meds for mental health problems the other tags along :/

I cant help but all of a sudden feel suicidal feeling so low that i want to just end my own life because sometimes i just cant take it anymore am not happy.

Guy am been sort of seeing described me as fun, sexy, interesting, cute, intriguing and pretty.

But i just wanted to know what intriguing means?

And how much would you say is best to eat? Could you gain weight if you ate to much fruits? With being a vegaterian would vegan protein shakes also be ideal? For me to get some protein in.(cant have dairy)

Thanks

I had a dream the other night, where in the dream i was really skinny and hearing voices your anorexic most way through the dream i was also losing my hair in a room facing the window put my hand through my hair and my hair would just fall out then i went to kill myself because i was so ill.

Last night i had a dream where i was clothes shopping with one of my friends i noticed she lost weight by looking at her i felt i had gained loads of weight and never realised it until i looked at my friend.

Last night i felt something was watching me in my room strangest part was i started to get theses thoughts in my mind that felt was being given to me by the person in the room strangest feeling i heard the name tracey germany bangkok station running sound bombs, every time i tried to sleep it was like it wanted my attention and didnt want me to sleep as my phone would just go off all the time every time i try to or things would just flew off tapping banging sounds it was keeping me awake it all started when i seen a big white circle light in me room flew across am use to the sense of someone watching me as its been years since i get the sense and things flying across my room but just ignored it but as am getting older its getting stronger, few weeks ago i was on my laptop and for few seconds i see a girl infront of me then vanishes. Is this a sign of a ghost spirit in my bedroom?

I know a bit of astrology but it has never been actuate for me so i only ever read it for fun purposes :') i heard astrolada studied vedic and many other astrologers and i thought about giving ago , just for fun purposes,for me to learn I just need to ask someone if am reading my chart right? and could maybe help me understand it more. Its in tropical Vedic tropical chart,as i prefer tropical.

my chart

http://s1212.photobucket.com/user/redroseox/media/...

so looking at my chart is my

sun,Jupiter,venus all in the 5th house? in the sign of libra or is it in the 6th house? this is where am quite confused a little bit.

mars,mercury,pluto would it be in the 6th house?

uranus neptune in 8th house

moon saturn 9th house

ketu 1st/rahu 7th

i only want to know if thats right?

and about house lords

would my 1st house lord be in the 6th house

2nd house lord 9th house

3rd lord in the 9th house

Am i reading my chart right?

also take two tablets of quetiapine at night would it be okay to take all theses together

Do we use the time of our first breath? If so how dose it work for those who where born dead since I was born as dead baby then put on machines to help me so how would I put down as a time of birth? The time they brought me back to life with machine or without the Machine or when I was born dead curious

Thanks

What dose it mean if my Psychiatrists said we normally give out antidepressants but i think its best if you have mood stabilizers this from my first visit ? Dose she think I might have some kind of mood disorder ? She asked some questions like if I ever felt abanded before and stuff about high sex drive reckless spending , ups and downs of my emotions that people around me noticed it and told me about my behaviour reason why i had to see one because my mum said i was getting out of control again and self harm drugs and about my hallucinations I was having and loads of other stuff she's says that there's is reasons why I have certain hallucinations and moods with my past

And have you taken mood stabilizers what did they do any side effects ?

What dose it mean if my Psychiatrists said we normally give out antidepressants but i think its best if you have mood stabilizers this from my first visit ? Dose she think I might have some kind of mood disorder ? She asked some questions like if I ever felt abanded before and stuff about high sex drive reckless spending , ups and downs of my emotions and self harm drugs relationships etc

okay its a really long story but am going to only talk about some of it, its hard to talk about it but i want to get it out and have opinions all started about a year and half ago now that i started to see black shadows and a sense that someone was always watching me or following me or out to get me that i started to get so paranoid allot it has gotten so worse over the past year since i have also been suffering really bad depression then i would to only come out of it all hyper and struggle to sleep doing more things than normal to back to depressed again always been like that as long as i can remember except from when i was very young child who was shy quiet who never liked to socialize with other kids or family much liked to be on my own in my room not that being downstairs was any nice it was all violence growing up in my childhood i had looked after my antis kids when i was 11 so when she came back with her boyfriend it was all violence that when i go home i would go to see more violence when i was 11 my nan died i then moved to live with my granddad at xmas house was smashed in and stuff was stolen by my mum abusive ex, i never knew my real dad never wanted anything to do with me all i know was he was suicidal did overdose and self harmed kind of what i do today so growing up i had it pretty tough since that was not even half of it in fact talking about my childhood i did remember having seeing people that only me had seen and i even spoke to them and had conversations with the people but as i got older it went away since i told them to leave me alone didn't think anything of it i was young until it all started to happen again getting worse lately i have been seeing things like bugs allover my wall that people cant see or feel them crawling all over me See bright colours around the room sometimes of sparks of light or even faces flashing out for a few mins i tend to smell things that other people cant like being in work and smelling the place being on fire that i started to freak out asking if they could smell it and they couldn't my things tend to fly across the room usually when i sense someone being in there sometimes i have felt things touch me or jump on my bed ticking me and it keeps me up at night i tend to hear voices too shouting my name as if it sounds they want me to go to them and its all building up to the point i feel i cant function properly in my life even my job i find it so hard to deal with i have only started at march and its my first job ever i work in homes looking after people i Had to leave like 5 homes to never return because of problems i had with breaking down and crying (depressed state at the time) i didn't even see my friends for 8 months and when i did see them before the 8 months they would say behind my back how odd my behavior was i did anything to get away from them is how i appeared to them i just want to live a normal life i cant seem to get close to people since i got bullied during college when i was in a relationship he told everyone about how i did this how i did that it led to people in college to hate me and give me hell and high school years i was bullied for being strange and quiet to the point i started to force my self to speak Just want opinions how can i make this voices and everything else just stop so i can live normal :/

I keep smelling things that others can't that I get so paranoid about it like one time I was in work and I kept smelling the work being on fire full of smoke smelling it made me feel paranoid that i would ask everyone if they can smell the fire burning and they said no they can't , I tend to smell fire allot that when I leave the house I have to put out all the plugs or phone my mum to check because am paranoid incase I didn't even though I knew I did put the plugs out , when I was 11 I had put the house on fire I knew I put the cooker off but deep down I feel someone put that cooker on to cause the fire on purpose like someone is out to play games with me :/ I tend to have other smells too from home walking all the way to work or somewhere else, i have been getting more irritated than usually causing arguments with family members and people I hardly know I have allot of other problems and that's why am seeing a therapist but I want your opinions

I haven't slept for two and half days because I have been having allot of energy in the past 4 weeks I have been just doing everything as much as I can I want to do everything that I can't sleep because I feel there's loads I need to do . In the past 4 weeks or so am awake all day and night struggle to sleep on the go all the time mind racing so fast with thoughts that i forgot i had work on a following day,got into agressive argumeants with family members getting told change subject to subject that do things without thinking, so i burst out because they said hurtful stuff have been overworking be doing 13 hour shifts then go home to then read or paint for more hours then go to work for a another 13 hours, i normally only sleep like an hour or two a day sometimes be awake for two days straight and still be full of energy haven't been to college for few months because I was depressed for about 3 months of feeling so low but because am full of engry i would go in and catch up a months worth of work in like two days be up to date, prople have been saying i have lost so much weight because i would always had the need be to busy all the time i feel like i dont have the time to eat,There where times where I would be working and go home that left me being awake for 36 hours then on top of that I went shopping spent allot of money having bad hallucinations kept me awake in the night however I still get hallucinations during the day too.I don't understand why I can't sleep and full of energy I was so depressed not long ago i couldn’t be bothered with anything anymore wasn't bothered with friends or family or even going to college anymore just lost all interest in everything i once enjoyed because i was so depressed i hated myself hated everything self harmed suicide thoughts all the time got hallucinations during depression I want to know why am always like this all the time :/ so much engery not sleeping doing things to much to having no engery and depressed :( why ?

It's 4:25 am now in the uk and I haven't slept yet because I have been having allot of energy all day well for the past 3 weeks I have been just doing everything as much as I can I want to do everything that I can't sleep because I feel there's loads I need to do . So this is how I have been for the past 3 weeks or so am awake all day and night struggle to sleep on the go all the time mind racing so fast with thoughts that i forgot i had work on a following day i have been told /nagged at that i talk so fast change subject to subject that do things without thinking, i have been overworking be doing 13 hour shifts then go home to then read or paint for more hours then go to work for a another 13 hours, i normally only sleep like an hour or two a day sometimes be awake for two days straight and still be full of energy haven't been to college for few months because I was depressed for about 3 months of feeling so low but because am full of engry i would go in and catch up a months worth of work in like two days be up to date, prople have been saying i have lost so much weight because i would always had the need be to busy all the time i feel like i didnt have the time to eat,There where times where I would be working and go home that left me being awake for 36 hours then on top of that I went shopping spent allot of money having bad hallucinations kept me awake in the night however I still get hallucinations during the day too.I don't understand why I can't sleep and full of energy I was so depressed not long ago i couldn’t be bothered with anything anymore wasn't bothered with friends or family or even going to college anymore just lost all interest in everything i once enjoyed because i was so depressed i hated myself hated everything self harmed suicide thoughts all the time got hallucinations during depression I want to know why am always like this all the time :/ so much engery not sleeping odoing things to much to having no engery and depressed :(

type in google you sun and moon sign the site astrotheme.com is the one that will show allot of famous people with your sun and moon sign am bored -_- and what celebrity has your rising sign ?

sun Libra moon Aquarius famous people with my sun and moon

John Lennon

Eminem

Lil Wayne

Ashlee Simpson

celebs with my rising sign

Harry Styles-he has my sun sign in his moon and my moon sign in his sun -_-

Drew Barrymore

Sandra Bullock-same moon sign as same rising

rihanna

jessie j

lady gaga

mandy moore

now what about you :')

whats is your ascendant sign dose it fit you ? whats the description of your ascendant sign ?and could you guess mine since am either born on one sign or the other -_-

http://s1212.photobucket.com/user/redroseox/media/...

I had wrote last night about me being scared because I had heard voices in the morning and at night I felt like someone was watching me like something so strong in my room that out of no where something has jumped on my bed that it terrified me then started to tickling me knocking/banging on the walls and a little later I hear the kettle boiling thinking its just my mum making a cup of coffee this was around 5 ish in the morning I went to sleep as soon it was light outside and woke up around 10 to ask my mum if she had made a cup a coffee last night and she said no so now am even more paranoid voices or sense of someone watching is so

Something I have experienced for a year and half and its never botherd me as I just strug it off but its getting worse to the point am questioning everything if its real or not :/